How do you spouse sharing people deal with jealousy? Was it never an issue for you or was it something that you learned to let go of?
All I can say is the two people we knew who were swingers ended up divorced with one of them going with someone they swapped with. As well as right now a woman my wife works with, her husband is divorcing her after hooking up with her best friend. She admitted to my wife that although as couples they never had full on sex with each other's spouse - they did lots of heavy flirting and went skinny dipping in their hot tub. I have always wandered the same thing. Seems like playing Russian roulette to me.
I mostly agree. I’m sure it can work for some couples but that would be my fear. But I don’t want to debate the right or wrong of it. I’m just interested in how people manage jealousy.
I feel some couples that have a lot of their life lived already that why u see a lot more older couples into stuff like this swinging and stuff because they fill they have lived life together and there no need to leave each other to much time to just throw it all away and I feel children like having family is a good ground for a couple to venture out but they will always come home family love is very strong but again it not for everyone communication is the number one key to all this
Me neither. (want to judge right or wrong, morally or otherwise) All I was saying is the three couples that I knew did in my life, all ended in divorce with one of the people they shared with.
I’m pretty sure it happens a lot and I’m sure it works out for a lot of ppl look at regular marriage a lot don’t last and some due
Yeah, I’m not looking to open up my marriage or anything like that. My husband and I share a certain fantasy (FFM threesome *eyeroll*) but I know that I’d never be able to go through with it because I would get really jealous and insecure. That’s fine, it can stay a fantasy. But it got me curious about how people with open marriages deal with jealousy and insecurities.
It doesn't happen a "lot". What happens a lot is good ol' fashioned cheating. That has always happened a lot. And always will. What I can understand about those that do swing, particularly those who are young...is the realization that the stats don't lie. That it is likely your partner will cheat on you. So why not just accept the fact that humans were never meant to be monogamous and instead of lying and cheating...openly have sex, just sex, with others only when the other knows about it. An dthen stay together as a couple? I don't judge it. I just can't understand, like the OP, how do they deal with the inevitable jealousy and risks.
True on the cheating but I feel it from lace of communication that all ppl need to open up to their partners that all and jealousy means that you care For that person people they have threesomes and say they don’t feel any jealousy I feel that’s a problem because that means they don’t care for the other person
I think being around in the late 60s early 70s, had a lot to do with us. It was a time of Free Love like this part of the forum is titled, and it really did happen.
Maybe that’s key. The idea seems so foreign to me but I’ve never been around it. I wish I could let go of some of my jealousy. Not because I want to share my husband (I don’t) but just because I think it would be healthier.
My husband doesn't have a jealous bone in his body. He's quite happy to share me and how he manages to do this without any pang of jealousy is beyond me. I'm the complete opposite, he only has to take the slightest of interest in another female and my hackles are up.
Yes. That’s how I am. I kind of hate it. We both share this FFM threesome fantasy. It’s just a fantasy and will never actually happen. I can talk about it. I can tell him who I’d want it to be with. I can talk dirty about it to get him off. I recently wrote him a dirty story describing it. It turns me on when I talk about it...but sometimes upsets me if he does. A couple days ago we walked out of our house and a pretty blond woman pulled into our driveway. She was just using our driveway to turn around in so we just smiled and waved to each other. I quietly joked to my husband something like “surprise, our 3rd is here”. After she drove off he turned around to me and told me that he actually knew her because they work together and he had thought that if he ever asked someone from work, it would be her. Instant heartbreak. Lol. It was so silly because *I* had been talking about it all day...but knowing that he thought that about her felt like a punch in the gut. It’s really not fair to him. I wasn’t mean and didn’t yell or cry but he could tell that I was upset. He was extra loving that whole evening but I let it ruin my day. So anyway, it got me wondering how people who actually do share deal with their feelings.
Never say never you never know someone may come along that may make you feel really good someone you really connect with and respect you and your husband and then one day it may happen just don’t look at it as if your not enough see it as your husband wants you to feel free and spicing it up is not a bad thing
Nah. I’m good with it just being a shared fantasy. We’ve got a good thing going (sexually and otherwise) and I don’t want to mess things up.
It not for everyone for sure but what ever works for u and him that great but I feel y’all will come up with something else different in the future as far as role play fantasy
lmm00, I know what you mean. We have never included another person into our bedroom. However, my wife knows my feeling about another couple just having adult fun and erotica in front of each other. As far a jealousy, I don’t know where I stand. I know our friends like to hug up on my wife breast in public and I encourage her to hug back. It kind of turns me on. As far as actual sex with another, I just don’t know. We have talked (away from the bedroom) about a including another couple and she knows I would like to try it. But that is as far as we’ve got. She is a very spicy woman to me and is constantly flashing and exposing herself to me in public and at home. She keeps me sexed up. She has always drawn a line on our sex life with others in real life. But, fantasies are game on.
Jack I think you describe my relationship as well but my wife is curious about being with a women and I told her I’m ok with that as long as she is having fun because I feel that the whole point to enjoy and have fun
