I have really bad jealousy, and i'm just looking for some advice on how to over-come it, it really ruins a lot of things... Firstly, me and my girlfriend have been going out for about a year now, but we've been really good friends for about two years or so. I love her and trust her more than anyone, she is the nicest girl there is and i know she would never cheat on me in any way, she feels guilty over the littlest things so i know she wouldn't be able to cheat. Yet, i still feel insane jealousy all the time? The thing that makes me jealous the most is that, we're finishing school in about two months... we'll be graduating... and she'll be going off to university, although the university is still in the same city, i feel as if it's the end of our relationship. There will be so many new guys there i just feel as if they'll start talking to her and she'll eventually leave me. Me, i'm not going to university... i couldn't get in even if i wanted to. She's a straight A student, whereas i'm a C- student at the best. She's also been applying at many places for a job lately too, i dunno why but this just makes me so jealous, i just feel as if she'll be talking to all these new guys at the job and eventually leave me, sort of the same thing as the whole university situation. I even get jealous from time to time when it's not even about guys though... she goes out and does fun things with her friends all the time, but we sort of have two different groups of friends... but the thing is, whenever my friends do things they invite her or tell me to bring her, but i've never once in the 2 years i've been hanging out with her, been invited to do anything with her and her friends, although her friends bring other guys too? So it's not like its just a girl thing... I know she loves me more than anything, but she's soo shy which is why she doesn't ask her friends to invite me places (i dont think her friends like me much, they're the christian-type whereas i'm the slacker stoner type). And sometimes, i'm a little jealous of her parents? I dont know if you would call it jealously... but, i dunno, she's always afraid to ask her dad if she can come over to my house or if i can come over, and that always upsets me because i find that to be a little insulting... i know she's nervous and shy about these kind of things (i'm her first boyfriend) but i think it's insulting that she's to afraid to ask her dad if she can simply come over, it makes it seem as if she's embaressed by it or i'm not worth it or something. I dont think thats jealously, just another thing that adds to it... Why am i so jealous? How can i over-come this and stop caring? Even though i love her more than anything, i think about breaking up with her 24/7 because i just feel as if i won't be able to handle her getting a job, going to unviersity, making new friends, talking to guys, etc...
I think deep down its just a lot of self pitty... she's smart, beautiful, and amazing in general, she's going places with her life... me on the other hand, i really have nothing going for me... i'm just afraid she's going to realize this and leave, and that intensifies all this jealousy of mine i think... i dunno...
hey man dont lose faith i feel alot of those same emotions. something will come about for you. i recommend grabbing her skirt tails and running with her and dont ever let go, she obviously loves you and you her. things will work out. and as for the jealousy it is just a step in your relationship that you must over come.
I agree with the above post bro. I used to be crazy jealous, but as I got older, I got more confidence in who I was. You just need to know that you're a good guy, and she picked you for a reason. Just don't even laugh at this, but seriously, you just need to tell yourself "I have this amazing girl, because I myself am an amazing guy." Jealousy will lead her away. Just remember you already have her, and you have her for a reason; she loves you.
her friends are kind of dicks. so what exactly are you going to do after high school, if she's leaving you behind by going to college and by looking for work? a C- student can easily get into college these days; pretty much anybody can get in if they're willing to pay for it. but even if you don't go to school, get a job. that way you'll have something in your life other than her.
I'm glad i'm not the only one that's felt like this before, thought i was little bit crazy there for a while... I've never thought of it like that before, that kind of helps. I guess it's kind of irrational for me to have these fears that every time she goes out she's instantly going to fall in love with the next random guy she talks to and then leave me. But they're just thoughts i can't get out of my head. I'm not really sure what i want to do after highschool, i honestly cant picture myself working anywhere that doesn't involve some sort of post secondary education but i just feel as if i can't get into school, because honestly at this point i'll be lucky to graduate this year with the rest of my grad-class, and i really don't think i'm cut out for school, no matter how hard i try my grades just stay around the C's... although this last semester of grade 12, my grades are actually B's and A's... which is weird, i start trying when it's already to late.. i feel like i already fucked up to badly to reach any of my goals now. I think i'll regret not going to university a lot though, for the education, the career outcome, and just the experience in general... but it seems like a massive leap, i'm definatly not ready to leave high school... high school does a shitty ass job preparing us for leaving into the real world...
And yeah her friends kinda are dicks, i've told her i don't like her friends they're stuck up snobby bitches lol. She's been wanting to try weed for a while now but she says she's to scared, i keep telling her there's nothing to be scared about (i'm not pressuring her into it at all, it's100% her choice, i'd actually rather not get her into it, but if she's gunna do it i'd rather her do it for the first time with me, somebody she can trust) but then she told me how her friends would stop talking to her and be extremely mad at her if they found out... lol that just pisses me off, it's none of her friends business what she does with her life... it's not as if they're married or something, if she wants to try it, it's none of their business in my opionion.... i'm sorry, i'm ranting now, i just hate her friends But she's like the complete opposite of her friends, she even tells me how she's starting to not really like them lol
if you want to go to college, you should try to get in. worst case scenario, they reject you. maybe take a year off and do whatever job you can get before going back to school (i actually recommend this for everyone, but that's two degrees off topic). you've been doing alright this year, which shows that you are smart enough to do it if you actually do the work. and trust me, college is completely different from high school anyway. i know a few people who barely graduated high school and then went on to be fairly successful in college.
First off, you must be really a nice and smart young man since you immediately see and own up to these flaws ) ) Many men AND women have jealousy issues which cause them problems all their lives with all their relationships. Recognizing this as a problem will help you to overcome it...the jealousy over nothing, basically...right? Anyway, I used to be jealous...especially when I was your age. I can assure you it does no help...it only makes you and whomever you are with or around miserable. Eventually undeserved jealousy will push some away and make the accusations or jealous thinking come true. I've heard more than one WOMAN and man say they did this or that b/c they were accused of it enough. I'm serious. Of course, that is pitiful justification for cheating actions, or whatever. I'm just sayin'. But, back to me. lol I sort of ODed on jealousy, as it sounds like you are doing, and I just saw how ugly and pitiful it was, so it was easier to be able to drop that attitude. A person is gonna do what they want to do...and all the jealousy in the world isn't going to change anything. Really. I think realizing that fact alone helped me see the futility and stupidity, too, in it. Jealousy hurt me a lot more than anybody else. I decided I could find other ways to sabotoge myself, I guess. ha
Being very jealous/insecure does suck. But, your thoughts about how she could leave u one day, well that's the reality of relationships, they can end ! In fact, u could be the one meeting a new girl tomorrow and leaving your current gf. Of course u're not thinking about it now, but it's a possibility, and the fact that your current gf is amazing in every way doesn't mean u're gonna be head over heels for her your whole life. The important things to keep in mind are 1) she chose u, u're her bf and she loves u because u are u. She wouldn't be with u if she thought u had "nothing going for u". U see her as amazing and perfect, chances are she sees u as amazing and perfect. 2) live the present moment ! U're with a great girl, u love her and she loves u, don't ruin those awesome moments by thinking of what could potentially happen in a vague distant future.
Thanks guys, i guess i just gotta remember she chose me for a reason But she just got a job yesterday, she starts today... she's actually working this very moment, i dunno why but this drives me crazy, i know there's a lot of young guys around our age and in their early 20s that work there, i keep just feeling that they're gunna be hitting on her the entire time or she's going to start liking one of them And once we graduate, she's going to be seeing more of them then she is me most likely... so it would make sense, i dunno... I think if anythings going to ruin this relationship it's probably going to be me because of my own jealousy and thoughts, whenever i start thinking about this i feel as if i get mad at her even though she obviously did nothing wrong at all, it's just me and my stupid thoughts i'm supposed to go over to her house tonight... but i honestly really don't want to just because of the thought of her possibly talking to a bunch of other guys that she now works with, i know it's so stupid and maybe even a little insane... but i just cant get rid of these thoughts
You know I'm on the other side of this and dealing with a jealous partner, and not my own! I'm friends with a guy, and his girl thinks we are cheating. We are not in fact we are business partners for the most part. I get my smoke off him. His wife thinks we have something going on, sometimes he smokes me up when she is at work. She hates it. He is a stay at home dad too. He does this with others but the only difference is thy have a dick. But her jealousy and her thoughts are bad and I've even tried telling her it's nothing etc etc. Still doesn't matter. Why because she she what she sees, and what she doesn't realize is that this hurts him. The fact she doesn't trust him and tries to control who he can be friends with all because of her own insecurity.
I may have just ruined a beautiful relationship because of my insecurities and jealousy. Try not to let it get the best of you. Easier said than done. Believe in yourself.
