Ive tried to be straight

Ive tried to be straight my whole life, i live a few years thinking ive concurred bisexuality and all of these desires and feelings i have for both sexes in different ways. Then they all come back stronger than before, just like they never went anywhere and ive come to the conclusion that its like they never went away because they never did, it is who i am and who i will always be. I am a Bisexual man and that is who i am.........

 

I rather wish I had more f-f sexual encounters in life

 

Can you elaborate?

 

I went to a woman’s college. After a difficult experience with men, some lesbians were very helpful in assisting me with getting on with my life. I appreciated them, and broke out of my hetero inclination a bit, but being with women exclusively just wasn’t my way. After college, I had only a single romantic liaison with a woman. I wish it could have been more, but that’s life- I married a man with conventional attitudes, raised a family, then got old, lol.

 

Do you mind me asking how old you are now? I am now 3 years into my marriage with a conventional woman, whom i love very very much, but im dying on the inside because i really want to experience more cock in my life

 

I am early 60’s ... a bit long in the tooth you might say

I would have been open to female lovers, but knew it would be a problem for hub, so I didn’t pursue it. We make our choices in life and live with our decisions .... unfortunately we can’t live in alternative universes!

 

If you could go back would you have done it any other way, like maybe telling your hubby you are bisexual before you got married

 

Why would you want to straighten out?

 

I dont anymore, but i did because i have always been worried about what others including my family would think, plus i can be sexually and emotionally involved wirh a woman but have only ever been sexual with men, not emotional atatchment or connection what so ever now maybe that just because i never let myself get close to another man, i just had sex with them once then moved on to another. But i dont know anymore, i just wish i would have done things differently when i was younger like atleast tried having a relationship with a man. That way i wouldnt be dealling with the feelings i now have

 

Um...

Negative assumptions...discrimination...hate speech...hate crimes...disappointed parents...shame...It's different now, but when I was a teenager, all I wanted to be was straight.

 

Ive always thought you could change your sexuality like the longer you went without having sexual feelings for the same sex, the more straight you became, but ive come to realize you dont become more straight, you just deepen the lie youve been living

 

True dat.

So sad. I wish we cultivated a society where it was okay for everyone to be who they are. We're getting there, but, we ain't there yet.

 

I wish that too, so how do we compensate for the judgement the world has placed on us wich in turn has caused us to live a lie

 

I'm not living a lie.

 

Fair point.
Maybe I should rephrase the question to why DO you want to....

 

Sorry i was responding to a different person.
So youve been bi or gay since day one? What led to your decision, i had my ♥ broken at a young age and decided to try other things wich led to my attraction to men aswell as women but more physical towards men

 

It wasn't a decision...it was a decision to embrace it and act upon it, but I don't think anyone chooses to be bi, gay, or straight. We are who we are and we like who we like. We can fight it all we want--and a lot of people do--but it doesn't change the fact.

If any of that makes sense...

 

See, I never understood any of that, not that high school for me wasnt a shitty time, but for none of those reasons

If I ever had problems with other guys in high school, it was usually always about being too friendly with their girlfriend or best friends, too at ease with some chic they couldnt even talk to........or they secretly wanted to meet up in the bushes behind the cricket nets and pull their pants down

Discrimination, bullying teasing? compared to whom? all the fat chics and nerdy guys seemed to cop it far worse

And well before high school, my dad was always way too overprotective of any adult male getting near me, so when others talk about "coming out" to their parents, I'm like WTF are you talking about, why dont they know already? How do you not get they know already? The teenage curse of only giving a shit about yourself, not paying close enough attention to anyone else

Disappointed parents? If my father was still alive I would be the ONLY relative looking after him financially, pretty sure my mother was always happy she had one son like this.

And Shame??? we are talking the 80s, when people still used to say stuff like its unnatural, and as a teen I was like crazy horny, like CRAZY horny, all the friggin time, get a temp PE teacher and he is friggin hot, go home jerk off thinking about him 5 times that night...thats unnatural....again what the hell are they even talking about....that kind of talk only ever came from weird prudish types anyway, I just assumed they got angry because they werent getting any....which basically turned out to be true


Now, I said high school was shitty for none of those reasons, I aint going to bother trying to overturn female denial, but most of the shitty parts were because of females the same age, bitches all of them behind everyone elses back

 

Where & when I grew up, being 'gay' (it wasn't called that then) was not an option. Period. So I got married and raised a family, totally oblivious to any such thing as a 'feminine side'. I was straight. But it was there, dormant, slumbering, waiting, all that time.

I was in my mid-forties, and it was at the beginning of a rare home-alone weekend of shameless, gluttonous, unrepentant indulgence in porn-fueled marathon masturbation that mine came suddenly welling up, electrifying, tearfully flooding & overwhelming my crying, sobbing senses that I knew, as spurt after spurt of scalding hot cum leapt up & out of my rigid, shuddering body to rain gloriously down all over my chest & face & hair, that I would whatever I had to do to have another man push his hard, slippery dick up my ass and fuck as though I were the woman in the video before me.

In the years between then and now, I have joyously embraced & indulged my blossoming feminine bisexuality -- homosexuality, if you like -- well over a hundred times with 40+ men, and loved each time it happened, even when it hurt so bad I thought I would die. In fact, I kept going back over several years to an incredibly handsome you black hard-body who hurt me that way each time he fucked me, just for the sheer joy of having him unleash upon me & embracing his ravenous sexual desire for me -- for his steely hardness moving deep within me, his viril man-seed leaping up & out deep inside me. That number would be many, many times more were I not married, giving myself over to my ravenous cravings in total secrecy.

Through all of this, I have remained, to all outward appearances, a 'straight' family man -- no one has ever suspected my sudden & insatiable sexual appetite for men except the ones with whom I have climbed into bed. Or bent over the seat or tailgate of a pickup truck or leaned against a tree in the deep woods for ...

I have only dreamed about spending a night with another man in bed, of letting him make sweet man-to-man to me & fuck me all through the night and wake up in his arms next morning, or being 'kept' by another man in his home for the purpose of fucking me whenever he wanted me ...

You decide ...