It's strange . . . Or maybe it's not even

The universe is shaped exactly like the earth . . . everything keeping me together is falling apart . . .

That wasn't my original thought, but that's the Modest Mouse that played across my ears at the moment, and it felt like something that wanted to be printed through my hands. Isaac Brock's voice hits this very strange note of tension and soundwave that seems to pang some chord in my veins everytime I hear it.

Anyway. What I was going to say, was something like, it's strange. This year, I seem to have become more . . . independently able to have confidence in myself and interact with any sort of people and feel like they are in no way above me...socially . . . in some stupid subconscious inferiority complex sort of way. I've melded into a couple groups of people I always wanted to become friends with but never thought I could have. And I've also become if not part of, connected tentatively to members of this older and indefinitely cool "downtown" crowd . . . once again people I always imagined as having as friends but felt so tormentedly insignificant and young compared with I never thought it would be possible.

But . . . having friends isn't a mission to be accomplished really, or something to conquer or win. You can't forge bonds out of nothing. And I still feel disconnected, from the people I've grown away from whom I had history with once, and now the new people with whom I love, but am missing some common identifying element of either similar age and moment of life congruency, or lack of memories and time-gained trust and closeness.

Now my best friend, who was the person that allowed me a link to both worlds and a constant friend and partner in voyaging into those unknowns has moved away to college a week ago, after graduating early last spring, and I'm feeling lost and a little frightened, both of whether I need her so greatly to hold on to myself, or that I don't anymore.

 

"your heart, felt good, it was drippin in pitch and made of wood, and your hands and knees, felt cold and wet in the grass beneath."

first off, i would like to say that you have a great taste in music. I believe that even after listening to this album 1000 times, i feel that the moon and antartica is one of the greatest albums ever made. I enjoy issac's brock phylosphy and how he melds it to his music so wonderfully. Modest mouse rocks my world...

i think I know how you feel about being able to make new friends and such. I remember all through jr. high i didnt want to make contact with anybody cause either i would get rediculed for what i would say, or what i never said. In my junior year in high school, i felt it was alot easier to talk to people and make new friends. It was hard at first, because since i didnt know them for that long, they had long relationships as friends and always reministed about how life was years ago. Once talking to them more and hanging out with them more, i was able to get intouch with some people i could call "friends".

Having really good bonds with a best friend when they move away is rather deppresing...because the one or two people that you relate to best are moving to a far away place and its hard to keep in contact with them. Its at this point that you must find out how to make it on your own, and get intouch with yourself. Having a part of your life move away is hard to live with at first, but it happens to everyone that we must cope with.

 

Time heals quite much... but there's always a scar.

 

Time flows like a river, We're all moving to the ocean, Our rivers are vast and cover all landscapes of earth, and infinitly more.

 

kinda.

 

yeah man

 

yeah!

 

What does that have to do with anything?

 

it's there if you need it or it doesn't have to do with anything... you determine.... works for me, sometimes, but then again, life ain't life without JJ Cale, gay sex pants, and camping.