its my dad again...but in a bad view

Discussion in 'All in the Family' started by veroness, Mar 19, 2008.

  1. veroness

    veroness There's only one :)

    i woke up an hour ago to a loud thump and voices yelling. it was my sister and dad fighting. this wasnt the occaisional yelling and screaming. this time it had another factor. my dad was grabbing my sisters face and shaking it around and then picked her up and pushed her into the wall. my dad used to hit my sister when we were really little and he got arrested for it but we all thought that chapter was over in our lives. now my dad is very italian and has a very bad temper but my older brother just tells us all to do what he says and if we dont like something he does, to suck it up and move on. when it comes to hitting my sister, i have no idea what to do. i didnt call the police cuz i didnt want to cause a sence or mess up our living arrangments, but i wanted to call them so bad. i called a friend and texted my older brother but nothing helped. i feel really bad for my sister and wish we didnt have such fucked up parents. it cant all my parents fault. there has to be some blame on me for being a losy kid. i really dont know what to do. can anyone help?
     
  2. Allonym

    Allonym cheesecake slut

    how old is she? could you two possibly move out together? thats a really shitty situation to be in, and the longer youre in a place you can get physically pushed around/assaulted, the worse off a person generally is
     
  3. veroness

    veroness There's only one :)

    shes 16 and im 18 but i havent saved any money up. im working on that now. but i couldnt live with her, but i can watch out for her and be there for her. our sister relationship is butcherd but i still care for her and dont want her to get hit. shes tryed to fight back and got my dad down on the floor but he just got more angry. it hasnt happend in 12 years so i dont think its likly to happen again. im going to talk to me dad some time this week about it, but i dont want to be hit or kicked out or some shit like that. i dont want this to be forgotten. my dad has to be told its wrong to hit someone. youd think hed learn his lesson after being in jail...
     
  4. treehuggerT

    treehuggerT Member

    Your father's violent behavior has NOTHING to do with you being a lousy kid. It has nothing to do with you or your sister; it's ALL ON HIM. Where is your mother while all this is going on? I think you should call the police-how much worse could your living situation get? If you don't want to do it now, put your father on notice that you will call them next time he touches anyone in the house.
     
  5. soaringeagle

    soaringeagle Senior Member

    typivcal victim mentality..it has to be partialy your fault ..why would he hit ya if u didnt desserve it...stop thinking that way, realize that he and he alone has the problem
    go to your mom tell her what u see ..ask her for help
    if she dont do the right thing demand he see a shrink and work on his issues..if he refuses, then u gotta do what u gotta do to protect yourself and sis
    leavse..or..go thru chanels to force him into getting help
     
  6. FinnishButterfly

    FinnishButterfly JennyJelly

    Looks like it's time for you and your sister to get a job and get an apartment together, and she should get emancipated ASAP.
     
  7. veroness

    veroness There's only one :)

    my mom lives with her boyfriend and the rest of the family has shunned her out of our life. shes an alcohic and has messed up our lives so we all decided to have her not be in our lives. i do have a job and so does my sister but we cant just all move out and live somewhere. i have some money im coming into in a year but thats one year. right now what me, my sister and brother are doing is to make the best of what we got. we got dealt a shitty parent hand so if we stop doing shit that pisses my dad off, everything will fall back into normal place. my dad did it out of rage and anger and my sister chose not to listen to my dad. my dad handled it in a way that he would feel like he has power and he proved it. he was wrong but isnt going to change unless we kids do. the police have been used everytime in my life when things got outta control and they only made matters worse. they have two years to get finish school/ i survved and they will too. karmas a bitch and ill leave that to get my dad. being in this situation is hard but not as hard as other people have it. we're greatful for a house and food and clothing and everything we have to survive.
     
  8. Therese Aline

    Therese Aline Slave to the man

    Aww, Veroness that really sucks. There's no one you could tell? He can't get away with hitting her. How bad did he hurt her when she was younger?
    I hope things get better for y'all.
     
  9. veroness

    veroness There's only one :)

    he left no marks this time but before when she was younger her whole butt was black and blue. ill never forgive him for either times and ive just been ignoring him so hopefully he'll stop being a power hungry shit nhead and apologize to me sister. everyone thinks he wont apologize but when i decide i will talk to him ill make sure its the first thing comming out of my mouth. i was thinking of something like, "im not proud of you or respect you in any way for what you did. your are alomst 50 years old and its pathethic i have to tell you to apologize. youve hurt her more than once and she deserves an apologie from you" hopefully he'll listen and do it if not i can never call him my dad...just like my mom.

    seriously though, does everyone have fucked up parents or is it just me?
     
  10. soaringeagle

    soaringeagle Senior Member

    hugs varoness
    if u or your sis or anything ever need a lil helkp let me know ok
    i dunno what i could do, but bein local i'll do what i can

    the important thing is to take care of yourselves sou dont end up being too hurt by it take care of eachother
     
  11. Therese Aline

    Therese Aline Slave to the man

    I do, but not near as bad as what you're describing. My dad was verbally, emotionally and mentally abusive. He's gotten better about it now though and I can stand to live with him.
     
  12. Allonym

    Allonym cheesecake slut

    nope, my parents are pretty awesome
    seriously, id look into saving up and moving out asap. does not sound like a good environment to be in
     
  13. pixeewinged

    pixeewinged Visitor

  14. laurenq

    laurenq Member

    yea i think you and your sibilings gotta stick together

    good luck and be strong!
     
  15. Thats horrible.

    But call the cops man, come on. If you love your sister then you'll do it unless hearing her get beat is fun.

    JUST DO IT!
     

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