It's been how long?!!!!!

it's been four years since i have gotten my pussy licked and since i have had a really good orgasm. FOUR years unfucking believable. my fiancee is disgusted by going down on any female. I get pissed off when i give him oral and i get absolutely no reciprocation. so finaley i said goodbye to any form of sex. I figure what is the point of having sex when my fiancee doesn't even try to get me to orgasm. So until i feel that my fiancee is making an effort there will be no sex.

I just wanted to vent and know your thoughts on this..

~Fallen Fairy~

 

I can really relate. It has been 16 months since I have had any sex at all. My husband gets on my last fucking nerve when it comes to sex. It makes me question alot of things

 

I feel the same way. when it comes to sex i am just tell him "you dont need me you have your porn". whats the point in having sex with your spouse when all they do when they are horny is go watch porn or just magically expect you to know when they want sex.

 

Sex isn't everythng---but it's a lot. I don't know what his problem is, but there will be a lot of problem in any relationship where one person or the other refuses sex for very long. Trust me, you don't want this to go on too long. But this is about all I know. The solutions escape me, except that you're still young and you should be able to discuss/discover some things which are good for you both. Going down may not be one of them.

 

I never really understood guys who didnt like to go down. I always love giving pleasure even more than receiving. but it does make sense for you to cutoff sex if you get no enjoyment out of it.

 

well to put it bluntly if it has nothing to do with his dick in me he refuses to do it. our relationship has gone to shit since i was 8 months pregnant and we have been trying to work on it. and our sex life has gone to shit ever since i found out i was pregnant. I know sex isn't everything and i try to discuss things with my fiancee but i just feel uncomfortable because he just sits there and says nothing with this blank look on his face. My fiancee refuses to do anything to/with me that doesn't involve his dick in me. I keep trying to tell myself things will get better after he gets his bussiness started and establish some money, and yet i have been saying that for two years.

 

see, i dont really agree with this. you dont need sex for a happy life, it just helps. as for the orgasm thing. you dont need to eat pussy to please a woman. for me i find it weird to anything oral but if a woman wants to return the favour, i aint pressuring anyone. some people like it, some dont. its just learning to deal with it

 

but she said hes not trying AT ALL

 

when the sex stops its pretty much over, and it is a big part of a relationship. its a great indication of where the relationship is.

 

Well, I don't agree with this. My husband and I have an awsome relationship...but there just hasn't been sex in 16 months. It does not mean either one of us is unhappy...or that our relationship is over. That is far from the truth. I think every situation is different.

I have also quit trying because I know I get no-where.

 

hmmmm, sounds like it's time to invest in a really good vibrator

I'm sorry about your situation though, that really sucks. I wish I knew a better way of helping, but I can only really think of a sexual therapist, which isn't gonna be particularly useful if he refuses to go

 

Hows your actual relationship outside of sex?

Maybe its time to review it in the context of the rest of your partner ship, and then you can really start to assess your options and make your descisions properly

 

Try playing few bed games. Dressing different than what you normally wear and go to a local bar, club and meet up agauin kinda like meeting again then going to somewhere and get it on. Or maybe you should experiment with new toys and stuff.

These are something we do in lesbain relationship, even tho your not in this sorta lifestyle is it something you can try. We do this in a sorta butch/femme relationship. hope things go well and hope helped a bit.

 

I think it's time to find a new penis.

That, or absolutely refuse to have sex with him or give him head until he makes you cum.

Or tell him that you've been thinking, and have come to the conclusion that you're a lesbian, and if he doesn't lick your pussy, you'll find a bitch that does.

 

all relationships are different. i just know in mine, ya should give if you wanna receive. most all my exes were lazy in that dept and sex is important to me in a relationship. im a scorpio. if the sex is bad or nonexistant, it won't work for me. i find it just as important and shares equal parts with non sexual things.....mental, emotional and physical connections are big chunks of the pie.

 

i agree with you. my boyfriend loks at alot of porn im sure and he's all secretivw about it and doesnt talk about it. i know he does it so what the biggie? i told him that if thats all he needs thats good enough for me

 

There is a real problem in any relationship were one partner has orgasms and the other does not. There is always a way to provide an organism to anyone who is able to have one (free from medical problems etc). I also feel that anyone who becomes more excited by porn than by their partner has major problems. Have a long talk - if that does not work think about trading up - lots of men in the world - or women for that matter - if you would like to try that. However, the end game is that you have a right to be happy.

 

heh, reminds me of an ex i had.....she used to try and use sex to get what she wanted....and i fucking hate that with a passion.

I reversed the roles, denied her sex....took her about a week to think i was having an affair....about two weeks to convince herself that she had "got ugly" and wasn't sexually attractive anymore.....after a month i decided that it wasn't really worth gettin' into the sex thing again with her (she could whinge like a champion, especially as she wasn't sure why i wouldn't shag her) and dumped her...

last i'd heard she'd married a "quiet lad" and settled in the city.....last time i saw her she was still confused as hell about my sex-strike and still bloody quizzed me about it....i think i bruised her ego....

mind games can be fun

 

just be careful witrh what you say.. hes lost his libido....

its a sign that he feels low and pressurising him to eat you out..when hes not feeling sexy wil make him feel used and lower his mood even more.

just chill out for a bit and let it go...

try not to be negative...

if hes looking at you with a blank face its becuase he feels he hasnt got the space to breathe let alone be himself.

you are living together... so imagine how you would feel if you were going through a phase of emotional turmoil for whatever reason.. as he porbably is... having a child brings up alot of emotional issues...

what youd want and need is suport and understanding.. not pressure to perform...surely the sex isnt even enjoyable if you fel youve had to fight for it???

surle y abtter idea would be to be his frined and partner..for a bit...no pressures and try to build his self esteem ,. not hurt it by saying hes not good enough..

thatll really kill a person...

triust me if you give him space to speak and be... without over analaysing him or pestering him, hell grow to love you for respecting his issues.. so yes.. you are a woman and that means you are ight years ahead evolutionaly.. but hes got his emoitions going mad at the moment.. with a kid around.. he could be really torn apart inside with secrets that youll never know becuase he feels he cant open up to you... trust me it justa phase.. and dont get so mad about it....

just let him be and the more you listen to him.. without saying what you want from him.. the more hell feel ready to open up, let you know whats really going on..and feel confident that you care.. and not that you just want him to suck you off!!!!


preying mantis!!!

 

wow... i am really sorry.

your situation sounds terrible to me. relationships are about give and take, and it seems like you're doing a helluva lot of giving and he's not giving at all. 4 yrs since you've cum? has your fiance EVER made you cum? how important is sex to you, and can you live a lifetime without EVER having your pussy licked again? is he, and your relationship, worth that? i know sex has different importance to different ppl, but to me anyway, it's a huge reflection of the relationship in general, and i also think that how a person is in bed is a huge reflection of how they are outside the bedroom...
i know i couldn't get involved in the first place with somebody like that, but if my very open-minded, giving, caring boyfriend suddenly stopped giving me anything and all that when i got pregnant, i would still have hope he would return to his old self. hopefully that's the case with your relationship...
but i would take retrogroovegrrl's advice and assess the relationship as a whole. i've seen some of your posts on here, and it seems like you're primarily upset with your fiance and your sex life, and are stuck there because you feel you have no way of life without him... please remind yourself that this is not the case, and that you can leave him if you feel unhappy and unloved. everybody deserves happiness.