Hey, so long story short, my girl and i have lived together for a year now. She Has lyme disease which takes a huge toll on her day to day. She has just started to undergo treatment so she will get worse before she gets better. My problem is that she has lost all sexual desire. I have been laid probably 5 times in the last 5 months because of this. i understand she is going through stuff and im not trying to be selfish. But after a while of not getting sex i find my self getting.... angry? i guess thats how ill say it. I dont feel able to connect with her on a deeper level without sex and honestly sometimes i just want it really bad. And obviously she will get mad if i try to push sex. is this normal for me to get mad and down on myself about it?any advice would be much appreciated!
getting angry due to lack of sex? yes, that's a normal guy thing. i kind of want to punch you in the throat right now. getting angry because you're getting sex and know you will eventually get more once the person who is nice enough to give you sex gets through a health crisis? sounds kind of spoiled to me.
flip it around, you got an injury that stops you from wanting/giving sex and she has to wait. What would you tell her to do? If it's medical and will heal then let the time go, she is not well so let her heal and I've been there so I know it's hard.
It's normal to be frustrated when you aren't getting what you want. But you shouldn't let it become anger. Fight this negative reaction. If you wanna leave, do it. But if you stay, you really should learn to rid yourself from anger. And hope she gets well soon.
I think it's a normal not just guy thing but human thing. For me I don't use the term angry because it takes a lot to make me ANGRY but cranky, yes.
The OP's personal problem are all issues solved by: masturbation sex toys polygamy open relationships. The health issue on the other hand isn't one of the solvable problems.
I'm sorry I dont mean to come across as a douche. I'm just having kind of a hard time with it also because she has major mood swings with this treatment and seems to take a lot of it out on me and make me feel like shit and kill any confidence that I have. I'm just trying to find a way to handle it that's all. I've been trying to be there for her but she has a problem with ppl helping her and doesn't seem to appreciate anything I do to try and help.
That's a communication issue, not a getting laid issue. Approach it as such, with her. (And a therapist can't hurt)
I was gonna say... and I was talking to hubby bout this the other day and he agreed... when you're a bit cranky/out of sorts cause you're not having much sex... nothing you do for yourself really does the job to relax you. I mean maybe a little, at first but it just don't cut it.
Does anger of this sort stem from some sort of lack of control over getting sex when you want it issue? I hate to get dark on everyone here, but is this mental thought and anger over lack of sex to me just seems just 1 or 2 degrees away from the reasoning about why men rape. It's just how frustrated are you to the point of crossing that moral line. I see parallels, and that scares me.
rest assured, i won't be raping anyone. i think it may be more of a jealousy thing than a control thing. i only really get pissed when other people act like they get to have sex and do all the related activities.
