Is there a problem with being single?

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by myself, Apr 9, 2007.

  1. myself

    myself just me

    It seems like society tells us that to be single means you are failing in some way. ie: singles are portrayed as workaholics, abusers, social outcasts or misfits, unhappy, etc... In other words, they must have a problem, that is why they are single. Is being single really a sign of dysfunction in some way? If not, then why is being coupled so important in our culture?
     
  2. themnax

    themnax Senior Member

    this is indeed, a learned, enculturated, expectation. it is just another handle, like all emotional attatchments, by which we can be manipulated, by intrests which may or may not coincide with our own (but most often quite probably do not).

    it is however the responsible thing to do, if and when one causes new life to be born into this world, to provide for that life's childhood, learning, and well being.

    outside of that, and the emotional security of having someone around you can count upon to hug and have your hugs returned by, there is no other real sense in this expectation.

    if anything, i have always felt more able to productively contribute to the kind of world i would rather be living in when i have lived utterly and completely alone, then i do now, or at any other time i have ever lived or had to live, with anyone else at all.

    =^^=
    .../\...
     
  3. BraveSirRubin

    BraveSirRubin Members

    I think that there's more of a problem with being someone who cannot live without being in a relationship.

    A person who can lead a happy life without the commitment and the extreme need for affection is much stronger than the person who cannot.
     
  4. Asmodean

    Asmodean Slo motion rider

    Society tells us many things. There's nothing wrong with being single (of course). Society itself has a problem, since it can't stop describing people which way is the best to lead your life.
     
  5. Allonym

    Allonym cheesecake slut

    ive never been portrayed as a "workaholic, abuser, social outcast or misfit" because of my relationship status when iw as single. so i don tknow where you live, bu tif the people around you cant accept you when youre single then theyre hardly worth your time
     
  6. stinkfoot

    stinkfoot truth

    I'd rather be single and happy than in a miserable in a relationship.

    I get the pressure when I get together with family... the loaded question:"So-- is there anything NEWWWW?" followed by advice on how I should go about meeting people. I guess there's no option for "I'm not interested in meeting just anyone". I find the lack of respect for my choice to remain single to be quite irritating.

    Sure, I'd like to find that special someone but experiencing bad relationships because I feel pushed into meeting people is just not worth it. There needs to be some basic compatibility and patience- and I'm not sure I have the patience or willingness to really compromise. I'm the product of a dysfunctional marriage where mom wasn't ready to leave home and dad wasn't at all interested in being a father. Add copious amounts of alcohol, a domineering personality and a complete lack of patience with children and you have the ingredients for domestic violence.

    If there's a problem with being single it's someone else's problem. Trust me, the world is a FAR better place because I didn't marry and have kids when I was younger. I'm not entirely sure that I'm ready now but I sure as hell wasn't ready then- and the women I chose to date wouldn't have helped the situation either. In my universe, a long-term relationship is a precursor to eventual parenthood and I'm not going to pressure someone into assuming a role she's not ready to fill.
     
  7. warmhandedcanadian

    warmhandedcanadian shit storm chaser

    stay single and have lots of permiscuous sex, save money.... and go on trips! Get 40 dogs if you want! Own a farm, live in an apartment for the rest of your life with a bubble bath every night... yeah and a wine cooler in the bathroom ... whooo

    yeah!
     
  8. hippychickmommy

    hippychickmommy Sugar and Spice

    I wouldn't want to be single, out in the dating world, I know that much. My mother is 52, my father is 53, (they're divorced) and have dated/become serious with various different people throughout many years. One major freaking drama after another. Sitting around waiting for phone calls, ignoring the rest of their life because everything is revolving around yet another loser, free loaders taking advantage of their generousity, heartbreaks, depression, suicidal thoughts. *sighs*

    Sometimes I feel like they act more like teenagers than grown adults!

    Then again, it could be the people they are choosing... ;)
     
  9. Posthumous

    Posthumous Resident Smartass

    I don't let anyone pressure me into forcing a square peg into a round hole. I've been engaged twice on whims; so glad I never followed through. I could probably start eight new relationships a day, but just because some woman has a hot ass and pretty face doesn't mean we won't make eachother's life hell in short order. Then again, I am probably jaded from the divorce my parents got when I was 5.
     
  10. lace_and_feet

    lace_and_feet Super Member

    Of course society has a problem with being single--marriage and makin' babies fuels the economy.
     
  11. fexurbis

    fexurbis Member

    On the one hand, no problem.

    But on the other hand, society is getting extremely atomistic and face-to-face human connections, beyond superficiality, are becoming more difficult. Therefore, there is a danger that people are single due to their inability to form relationships. Look at us, we're saying all this shit in cyberspace. I have better conversations in cyberspace than I do face-to-face...now, that's a problem!

    You shouldn't be pressured either way, and you certainly shouldn't be in a relationship unless it's mutually beneficial --- but I also think we need to be attentive to our tolerance level for intimacy, which is on the decrease.
     
  12. Zoomie

    Zoomie My mom is dead, ok?

    This is the correct answer. When you defy social mores you're the squeaky wheel, and they're gonna grease ya.

    Besides, you don't want the whole world thinking you're a lesbian, do you? :rolleyes:
     
  13. Lady Neko

    Lady Neko Member

    i don't think there is a problem with it. as a matter of fact before i met my husband i was comfotable with being single and just never marrying. but we met and fell in love. we only married out of finachial reasons for college. i have a sister though who never plans on getting married and is okay with being single. another thing is why is the fact that women are supposed to have kids as well. single or not. my grandmother is pressuring me and the mr. about kids. we do not want kids. this is our descion. ugh!
     
  14. indian~summer

    indian~summer yo ho & a bottle of yum

    well clearly i am a misfit, but singleness is just working for me..i mean sure i'd like to meet someone that i could see myself in a relationship with, but that hasn't happened..and being single is just fun
    and if i wasn't single i would not be getting the tips i get working in a bar...:D
    each person just has to live their life, the way they want to and not care what other people think, and other people need to fucking get lives of their own and stop "meddling" in other peoples lives....our society has way too many Gladyses around (bewitched people come on :rolleyes: )
     
  15. Zoomie

    Zoomie My mom is dead, ok?

    You mean Gladys Kravitz?

    I hear she had a problem with vaginal dryness.
     
  16. wastingthedawn

    wastingthedawn *~Pure Light~*

    Being single is nice, relationships are alot of work, and can be kind of stressful. I'm not opposed to being with someone certainly, but being single is wonderful.
     
  17. neponiatka

    neponiatka Senior Member

    i dont see any problem in being single

    i'm single and i feel so free

    in general it's much better to be single than to date someone for the sake of a relationship itself

    we finally meet our pair anyway
     
  18. Miss_Beatle

    Miss_Beatle Beatlemaniac

    No, theres nothing wrong with being single. I just always figured that if your single, it simply shows you haven't found your special someone yet.

    For instance, I don't bother dating the closed-minded people around here, because i know i have no future with them. I'm single because my match isn't in Michigan, their somewhere else and i haven't found them yet.

    As for people who don't want to get married, or don't feel like their ment to get married, then don't worry about it. Your single because your ment to be. Every person has a destiny and yours is to be single. And if others have a problem with it, then they need to learn to mind their own buisness and worry about themselves for a change.

    Anyways, that's the way i see it . It's not wrong to be single.
     
  19. mr_two_1988

    mr_two_1988 Member

    I agree completely with this...

    I have seen a lot more unhappy and unfulfilled people who were that way because of bad relationships, than from being single. The single people I know (myself included) are generally much more independent and self sufficient, and overall seem to complain less and have less to worry about than attached people.

    Being single I love the freedom to spend days barely even saying a word to anyone if I feel like ignoring people for a while. If someone kept calling me every few days to tell me they're thinking of me, and always wanted to go out every weekend and be close all the time I would probably feel very trapped... I need a lot of space and personal freedom that most women don't seem to understand, and no one I've ever dated could accept enough to stick around.

    Either way life goes on, we're all born alone and we all die alone someday... We are all individuals that do not share a body or life with anyone, we just exist beside other individuals and can work together for common goals if we choose to...
     
  20. oldwolf

    oldwolf Waysharing-not moderating Super Moderator

    hmmmm.
    how to say this best....how about bluntly
    Romance = co-dependence
    In a co-dependent society - seems a natural that they would push for it.

    Not to say that 1 cannot have a relationship that is not co-dependent; but when we try to keep it from changing it becomes by definition, just that .... have to want your mates best Growth whether toward you or away from you

    yah - good luck, most relationships are not that way - good friends should be.

    you got it sir rubin
     

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