i use to think love was but ive been with about ten girls and madly in love with one of them and that was seven months ago and since then i still cant get over her an also since her i havent been able to find anyone to be with to help me get my mind off of her i think after her there wont be anyone else for me, this girl was great everything about her i loved and i was so in love with her for her birthday i went and bought a ring a expensive diamond ring and then when she was her i asked her to marry me and gave her the ring and she said no then the next week she leavt me and the week after that she went out with some other guy , she broke my heart and i dont think ill ever love again i cryed for months afterwards and couldnt sleep or eat.......... and all i realy wanna kno was did i really love her or did i think i did i mean im pretty sure i did and what i cant really get over is that after her its been 7 months the last three months ive been tryin to find someone else and no one will be with me i dont think anyone will ever date me again maybe cuz they can tell ive been hurt and dont wanna hurt me again or maybe just cuz im not good lookin all i kno is its been realy makin me depressed i use to be really happy and all now im always sad and always angry, and for the last month all ive felt like doin is killin myself cuz i hate this................ i just wanna find another girl who will love me back and like me for me and someone i have a lot in common with and who will wanna see me and be with me all the time...... now i dont even kno why i posted this on here cuz no one probally cares
i have been in love with three men in my life,unspoken and spoken but have been infatuated with many or stayed because I was trying to love somone. you know it in your gut-beyond your heart and head when your in love. sometimes men think they're in love when really the girl is just hard to obtain and it's their male testostorone kicking in thinking they need to have her. Those relationships hardly ever turn into true love. find somone who's just as interested in you and if those girls don't interest you then seek therapy because the eternal hard to get repationship is hard on both people in it...reallly hard for the girlt o keep up...never again
That's understandable how you feel. Well, first about looks: I dated a VERY HANDsOME guy. Girls would hit on him right in front of me all the time. And he was such an ass. Let me tell you, if a guy is nice, if he treats me right, i do not give a damn about his looks. If he has looks, but rotten inside- who needs him, and his stupid looks? I would date a guy with any looks (NO HANDOME GUYS PLZ) , just as long as he is open, caring , and loving. Do not focus on just this one girl, there is so many girls out there who complain that they can't find a good guy. And here you are. IF she walked all over you, good that you know it now, before you married her. Whatever advice you gonna get here, my best advice see a counselor- it helps. A counselor is not a psychiatrist, he/ she will tell you that love can be an addiction, especially , first love. I went through first love heart ache too, i did not eat, did not drink,..the counselor made a very big difference. I got rid of the addiction.
*sigh* the one that gets away.... I don't know if falling over yourself and asking to marry you was wise or what she wanted..your still young. Maybe that scared her ??? . I doubt you will get over her... personally i have not gotton over the women that have touched my heart..but you have to keep it in perspective and not let it consume you.. it won't help you develop relationships in the future [trust me].. If she was so quick to 'move on'..maybe she was not as in love with you as you were with her ..... possibly you actually saved yourself a LOT of grief in the future.. I think you need to not be so desperate to get into a relationship... it is alright to be single you know.. if the right person comes along thats great..but don't let it be the only thing that makes you happy..or makes you feel like you are wanted [self esteem].. Go out and have some fun with you male mates... try and forget about her [as difficult as that might be]. I'm sure in time you will be fine... i'm not to sure about the counseling...? i dunno all that ''talking over your issues'' ''seeking closure'' will help....seems very american ... maybe it might work ? you being america and all . Anyhoo good luck don't let the bitches grind you down... [sorry ladys]
To me love is defined as having these qualities; Being totally unselfish and being totally unconditional in wanting the other person to be happy. This means that both parties in the relationship want the other too be infinitely happy without any selfish conditions and expctations of something in return for this love. This is why I can clearly distinguish between love and desire (lust and 'clingy' attachment). Lust is almost always selfish at heart because it's motivated by a personal desire for a (very) temporary happiness. The 'clingy' attachment i'm talking about is unfortunately what I see around me when I look at the vast majority of relationships. Relationships that are ultimately driven by selfishness (wanting something in return from each other), however subtle on the surface. This is totally self-destructive because it just ends up slowly breaking down the relationship; The other persons qualities are highly exaggerated by this attachment. Then when the relationshop finally breaks down great pain is experienced because of this former attachment. I look back at all my relationships and all of them were indeed mostly attachment. My opinion at the moment is that love does exist (however subtly) but not just in the way it's commonly percieved to be. My advice to the poster; You have a choice; you can either let go of the past and be free from all your emotional suffering and move on with your life or you can continue to cling desperately to the past and suffer greatly for it. Letting go is sometimes hard but remember that nothing in this world lasts forever. Try to view this mistake as a learning experience. If you can find the courage in you to let go and move on you will be able to analyse with a clear mind what went wrong with your relationship and use it to evolve and move on with greater strength. You don't need to let this destroy you because it's only really you destroying yourself. Hope you find happiness.
and just give my opinion on your relationship; You most definitely felt a lot of attachment in your relationship I can fathom that just from your short post. So ask yourself these questions; Do you think asking her to marry you was the wisest decision? What were your real motives behind it? Did you really think it through properly? Now think about if you could spend 5 years with her...Now think about 15 years. Now 50 (your only 18 so thats a very long time)...Still think it was a wise decision? Think about the girls bad qualities as well as her good qualities...Do you still see that the good qualities were actually exaggerated in some ways and that she actually had more bad qualities than you first thought? Think about what you wanted out of the relationship and why you wanted it. Hopefully contemplating on all of this will gradually ease your suffering and give you the clarity that you need to learn and move on freely.
