Is it wrong to ask a guy to marry YOU?

i am in a major dilema...i am with someone who i have been with now almost 3 years coming up this year. I really care about him...like i cant picture myself without him...i am always thinking about him...i feel about him how i felt when we first started going out and this is way more serious than how i ever felt about anyone...my problem is i know he cares about me but he is not the type of guy who thinks about future let alone the day after today. i want to ask him to marry ME but i am afraid of being rejected and than where would that lead me?? and is it ok for me to be asking him?? please help me out

i am 21 and my bf is 22...we have been living together for over 2 years now and i know pretty much almost everything about him. he knows pretty much how i am as well....we argue but normal arguments that every couple is going to have!

don't you think though if i propose and than he says no that maybe he is into me though and is just with me for now. wouldn't it be better that i know now than later since i am 21 now?? please help me!

 

Just wait.

 

yea but how do i know when is the right time?? should i be just waiting for him to ask me than?? and if he doesn't ever than i just give up?? i guess i am rushing myself into this but i really love him and i know how he is...

 

Maybe don't propose, but ask if he could see himself marrying you.
Hint away.
See what happens.
Remember though, you're young. You and he are not going to be the same people in 1 year, two years, 10 years.
But, if you learn to grow together and all that loveliness, then yea...

 

Are you going to buy the rings to???

 

Right now, I'm with a girl I have been with for over 3 years.
I don't think I would marry her.
If she asked me to, it would probably end badly because she wouldn't understand.

 

what is marriage? a piece of paper that legally binds you to another human being. That has nothing to do with love or the important things in the relationship. Focus on whats important, being together, being happy, loving eachother. My grandparents have been together for 35 years, and they never even considered marriage. Things are just going so well for them, they'd hate to change anything.

If marriage is really what you want, it should also be what he wants, and being a guy, he is "charged" with the duty of proposing. He will let you know when or if he wants to get married.

 

we never talked about marriage before between me and him but when his sister got engaged this past summer we were on our way home from the Poconos and in the car he looked at me and said well what do you think about them getting engaged or what is your opinion on it...at the time i just said really nothing important because i didn't know what he was asking that for ,,,like was it just a ? or was it suppose to mean something??

and this ? is for hushbull...you are with your gf 3 years and you dont think u will ever marry her?? why are you with her so long than and what are your intentions for the future?? like i am confused on that part, i don't know why you would e with someone so long and not have ne future intentions...

 

I love her that is why I am with her.
I don't think I would marry her because I believe I could be happier with someone else.
My plans, I don't have any.
Go along with life and see what plays out.

I could break it off, but why...?

We enjoy eachother greatly.
I haven't led her to believe anything that isn't true, so....

 

A lot depends on how traditional he is? I'm very traditional and if my wife asked me it wouldn't have been right in my mind so I probably wouldn't have answered.

Tophor marriage has every thing to do with love...

 

So are you saying that prior to the first marriage certificate being issued, there was no love?

 

you love her but you believe you will be happier with another?? i really don't think if that's how your feeling than you should even be with her now because shes a girl and i guarantee that she has thoughts like mine in her head! i know if that's how he felt about with me i wouldn't be with him right now!....the truth hurts but i will get over it but i don't wanna be thirty when i get married! i am happy and in love i just wish i knew how he felt but he is the type of guy who is so hard to talk to about these kinds of things and i just wish i knew how he truly felt. me and him were good friends for a year and a half before we started going out and he was the player type except for his last gf which was only a year and that was his first real relationship. so i don't know what to expect all i know is if he feels how you feel hushbull we cant be together anymore and i will for surly be hurt.

 

i know you both enjoy each other but thats what i am trying to say to you...i think if thats how u feel even if you dont think so now that later you are most likely going to want to marry her unless you like lose intrest in her

 

If he is hard to talk to and you don't know his feelings. Then, you know... maybe he isn't the best candidate for marriage, not at this point.

We are both happy with how things are. I'm 21, she is 20... that is really young in my opinion. The way she is now, though I love almost everything about her, I can't see her as my wife. I want someone who is more giving to me. She isn't that. I want someone nurturing, a wife. Not just a really good friend that I enjoy spending time with and having sex with.

IDK to be honest. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
And until I do, I'm not going to be pressured into some societal norm or standard.

 

Amen Hush

 

if you dont mind me asking though what do u mean by a women needing to be nurturing and more giving?? you mean like they need to have money to be able to support you or what?? my bf is my best friends who i share everything with like everything so thats not enough to be with someone??

 

No, not monetarily at all.

More giving of herself.

 

[deleted]

 

hmm....i kind of see what you mean! i am still just trying to understand this whole thing...thank you though for your opinions

 

Sure.