is it selfish to not give money to panhandlers?

I live in a city that has it's share of panhandlers. I really do not like them approaching me. I think it's rude and some even get very aggressive. They act like I owe them something because I'm seemingly better off than them. I wish I could give money to them without being biased, but I just can't. It's not like I even ever have money to share. I pretty much live pay check to pay check and I also have two children.

Sometimes I might have a couple extra dollars and think, I'll go buy my kids a couple of fun things at the 99 cent store. Then I'm approached by somebody who wants money. Now, do I give them the money or go spend it on my children?... Well, I choose to go spend it on my children. I've worked hard for my money, why does a complete stranger feel they are entitled to my money? And if someone is shopping at the 99 cent store, don't you think they don't have much money to begin with? Why panhandle there?..

I feel bad though when I shake my head no to people. Sometimes, I'll put $20 gas so I can get the hell out of here because I really need to and sometimes I wonder if I should have just given the $20 to the homeless person cuz maybe they need it more than I do and I would just stay home that evening. But, I don't because I'm jaded. I've had so many negative experiences with panhandlers. They're like sells people and if you turn them down, they get really upset.

I was backpacking in Canada once and didn't have much money on me. A homeless woman approached my boyfriend and I for money. Well, we didn't have money to spare. We had a pack of soy hot dogs and a package of trail mix. We offered her some and she started shouting that she didn't want any of that shit and followed us down the street, yelling that she wanted a meal and some money.

I was just at the pharmacy and trying to get back to my car. A man quite a distance from me started shouting, "EXCUSE ME MISS, EXCUSE ME!!" I ignored him, acted like I didn't hear him. I knew he was going to ask for money. He started yelling louder and louder, aggressively. Seriously, I don't owe these people anything, and quite frankly, I don't like them. And then I start to feel bad about my way of thinking about this.

Now, I have donated food and time to helping homeless people. I used to volunteer for 'Food Not Bombs' and I would actually hang out with the people we fed and got to know them and found many of them to be nice. But these people didn't strike me as pan handlers. I think if they were going to be begging on the street, they would just sit on a corner with a cup and have people drop money off. That's how I would feel more comfortable giving money to panhandlers- when they're not shouting at me to the point that it seems like if I don't give them money, they're going to beat the hell out of me.

What do you think? Is it selfish to not give money to homeless people/panhandlers?

 

It may depend on the location and exact people/situation but no, I think it does not make you a selfish person.

What are you saying about the $20 gas? I'm not sure I'm following correctly?

Most often when a homeless person wants money here he starts by asking 'can I ask you something?' and I usually answer 'sure, unless it is about money' I only give something when they look really pathetic, like when you just feel they are suffering. So yes, my conscience is still working fine :mickey:

 

I don't give to them, it's their choice to take what comes rather then a real income and IMO they are the scammers avoiding the same tax guy I have to pay by making people feel sorry for them...

 

Interesting. Usually on here the tax collector is called the scammer

 

I meant, when I have an extra $20, I will usually put gas and take myself on a mini road trip but it never fails, right before I go pay for that gas, someone asks me for money and I almost want to give it them and put their needs before my own.

Exactly, the pan handlers that I'm talking about seem like sells people and it's very unsettling. I will give to someone that really looks like they need it.. If I see someone just sitting there looking like they gave up on life, I am more likely to help them. But the aggressive panhandlers seem self-sufficient and like they could help themselves out.

 

I'd rather actually give them the liquor. at least they won't get crack with it.

 

and then I also feel like some of them are scammers because we've all heard about the people that are able to make a killing just by panhandling all day..not sure if it's true or not, but it seems people do give money to them left and right..

 

this I lold..

 

I just remembered how the same panhandler "sells person" was always at walmart and one time I was pushing my daughter in the stroller walking back home and was actually busy with her, getting her something to eat. I was very occupied and this guy that Always approached me, said, "Excuse me!" pretty loudly for being so close to me. I ignored him, I was busy. "Excuse me! EXCUSE ME!" he kept at it. "WHAT!!!!!" I shouted back, lol. His response, "JEEZ I JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING." He seemed so offended, and then he was off to the next sucker..

 

:2thumbsup: Completely clear and yes, not selfish. If the bum had a car (and fixed costs like rent) and found some extra gas money he would think twice too.

 

Ugh, I actually had a tweaked out woman come out of her mini van once when I was putting some gas... "Give me a dollar"
I actually didn't have a dollar. Just put all my money into gas. So I said, "I don't have any money."
"OH COME ON, just give me a dollar!!" She got closer to my car...
This made me upset and I told her to get away and to stop harassing me. Oh, then she started getting nasty. Calling me a bitch and all sorts of names.. going on about how I was a smart ass and thought I was better than her.

 

I know a guy who sleeps rough in the area of London I grew up in.We went to the same school.He "begs",as we call it here in the UK.Whenever I go back to that area I see him sitting outside the supermarket or post office.He often makes as much as £100 a day,and most of this goes on crack and heroin.He isn't happy,and didn't choose this life.It's easy to pour scorn on drug addicts and the homeless when you have a comfortable life yourself.Often it's a downward spiral for these people,over which they have little control.Living on the streets and drugs go hand in hand,and once you are habituated to this culture it's hard top get out of it.If I have some spare change I will often give a coin or two,and I don't care what they do with the money.

 

I don't know everyone's story so I know it's not fair to judge. But, I just feel I'd rather spend my money on myself because I know it will go towards something I'm in favor of. I really don't want to support someone's drug habit. I also don't want to give my money out to someone who is going to harass me for it.

Also, panhandlers today don't seem happy at all if someone spares them some change. Nope, they want $5, $10...

 

That.

If I don't have extra money to give, I don't give money and I don't feel bad for it because I don't have a lot of extra money and it's hard enough to take care of my family.

But if I do have extra I often give money and don't care how they spend it. If someone wants to make their life happier by getting something to make them feel better, that's their business.


Oh... I DO agree that the more aggressive people are MUCH more annoying then the people who either sit there quietly with a cup or what not, or the people who politely ask once in a non-aggressive manner. I won't give to people who are aggressive about it.

 

i give a bit to the kids standing at the door of the supermarket asking for money to support hockey trips etc...i do it because i figure they are embarrased to be there asking for change from strangers while their mom supervises them with her $800 purse and fancy clothes

i dont give to panhandlers...mostly because welfare people have more disposable income than i do...and those kids holding the homeless signs are liars






caught one of those deaf people once who pace the parking lots and hand out cards...i called them back after saying no and they turn away...they heard me call them

 

You shouldn't feel bad for doing what you want with your own money,especially if you have two children to support,and I am definitely against aggressive begging.I personally have very few responsibilities,so it doesn't hurt my pocket too much to give out a few coins now and again.Asking for notes though is pushing it a bit too far,I agree.

 

only time i've ever felt bad was when i went to give a guy a dollar, i accidentally ripped in it half as i pulled it out of my wallet...

so i gave the guy both pieces of the dollar bill and shrugged

 

I don't think you should feel badly if you do not want to give money to a panhandler. Your choice to make.

 

I know a woman who works now in my field of work, her and her BF panhandled for a couple years, did well and then decided to go back to working. It was just an experience they wanted to do and they made some pretty good cash.
She said it was fun but she admits it was kind of cruel making people feel sorry for them for their bucks. I'd do it too if it weren't for the fact I don't like to be out in the cold.
Here they are becoming aggressive tho, chasing cars into store parking lots and waiting behind them for the driver to get out. Lots of women report feeling afraid to get out. Once I was approached for money,,, then smokes when I said I had no money, then he gave me the dirty eye, said "fuck you" and parked his bike behind another woman's car and waited for her to get out. He was driven out of the parking lot a few days later because of the complaints.
Friend's young son had his nose smacked into the trunk of his car for saying no in the same parking lot but the panhandler didn't sound the same as the one I dealt with. They get mean sometimes.

 

Eh, you can just tape that shit up. No big deal.

Tho if he needed to use that $ right away dunno where he'd get tape but yeah.. lol