Is it just me or are guys fickle?

I find it frustrating that when I get partnered with a guy it doesn't last very long and the guy changes his mind and then looks else where. Seems to me that there are some guys that are good at stuffing up. I've noticed that frustratingly a lot of guys are closet homosexuals so could that be part of the problem?

 

Yup. I have every reason to believe that gay guys tend to be "fickle" as you are putting it. You have landed one good guy, but there are so many hottt dudes out there, so you feel like checking as many of them out as possible.

Consider the fact that gay relationships mostly tend to be very informal. It is easy to part ways. It is easy to meet another guy. It does not take too much trouble, time or effort before you get romping in the hay...

All of the above works towards being fickle, doesn't it?

KD

 

Well I guess its harder with a closet homosexuals seeing that he wouldn't be able to host, frustration frustration frustration. So many of them types out there.

 

If a dude is willing, he won't be stopped by his inability to host. Spas and clubs are full of dudes who come together, do their deed, and move on.

KD

 

Oh, thats what you mean by closet homosexuals.

See thats what I'd class as bi, they cant 'host' becuase they are either living with their wife or girlfriend....or they arent but dont want their friends, flatmates or neighbours to see guys come over, word will spread and they think that will harm their chances wih the chics.

That first one is a bit more obvious if you ever get to see heir home, the second one isnt cos they wont say that, and it will be any other kind of excuse for you not to be able to come over and it will be invisible to you

See when you first said fickle, I thought you mean picky, maybe arrogant, no always long term and sure many gay guys are.....the ones that are ACTUALLY gay. But no, you are talking about the secret spy stuff, you dont really get that with the gay ones

Eye fucking some guy in he supermarket then picking him up, chatting when no one else can hear, oohh lets go back to your place for some rompy pompy...doesnt actually make them gay. And they arent really in the closet if they never intend for the wife, or most others in their life to know

So the answer is in the question, and its likely you are like this too, only really open about it when you have some guy in your bedroom with a hardon



It kind of sounds silly to us, when I'm off to some new thing, a bunch of gay guys carrying on in public, getting the odd snotty looks, dinner party at such and suchs later that nite...then guys like you are talking about 'gay' guys that dont 'host'

Out means full on out to everyone, in ya face baby.

If you are stuck half way, thas why you are only getting the ones that are really bi.

That is, it is YOU

 

Well, enter the experience I had about a month ago. I'm actually dating a girl now, but that doesn't keep me from checking out the guys. The fact I'm bicurious is the first thing I told her; even before I got in her pants.

You could say I'm 'in the closet' about my bisexuality because I wouldn't tell everybody at work (although some of my closest friends are workmates and I'm out to all of them but two) or my family. But the fact is, I'm also 'in the closet' about the girl I'm dating. Nobody at work really knows it (except my friends once again) and certainly no one in the family. People speculate that I'm gay behind my back at work because I never introduce or talk about a girl to them.

Well, before I met her I went out with a bi friend of mine to a party. This bi friend by the way, is partnered to a guy and is as out as can be. Work, Facebook, holding hands in the supermarket, etc.

I felt at ease at this party to openly flirt with this cute guy there (in front of attractive women, BTW ) and I did want to host him but not as soon as he wanted me to. He essentially asked me to come over and I asked him whether we could take it more slowly.

I know, it'd be easy for you to say I'm not 'ACTUALLY' gay, and that a gay guy would turn him out in bed yada yada. And that I'm just doing it for the attention. BUT, if that were the case, why is it that I called him the next day and he never got back to me?

To the extent that I'm nervous about hosting, it has more to do with not being used to facing any backlash from neighbors. But I'm willing to tough it out. That was not the reason I turned him down.

To my mind, I wasn't playing any games. I was as clear as you wanna be about my intentions. He was the one who flaked.

 

BUT we were both faced with the same problem, we were both being closet homes. He was also being lazy and being flaky saying stuff willy nilly like I wanna meet etc.

 

But that is the answer, the closet. You werent being closet homes? Says who?

If its about sex, some guy eyes you in the supermarket, but for whatever reason, whether you are shy or uncomfortable with that, so you dont beam back with a big smile, then far less likely less often they will come talk to you, or you them. 'Dating' sites are useless becuase you have to get them then and there, in person, then if you both have the night free and are horny, then its more likely to happen. Less likely to happen if one of your are umming and errring, worrying about neighbours, flatmates or even gilfriends at home that cant see that. Try do it over the net, and you dont have that butterflies in the stomach thing, a lot more chances fo them to chicken out, or they never intended to in the first place, it was just fantasy so they could then fap

And if its relationships, well how is that going to work, you can only do certain things at certain times, when no one else is watching. Why are other guys so flaky, when some of the gay guys will be like, well we wont bother with him till he's ready to come out.

The trouble with straight acting is its not exciting enough, if you look like every other out of shape boring office guy, too hard for the others to tell.

If you want guys to hit on you and follow though, hit the gym, get some abs and some tight buns, or if you are a big bear, dont look scruffy get a neat little beard and tache and dont smell like pizza.

But get out their and mix, its just more likely to happen if you are at the gym, or in Summer you are hanging around the beach in you budgie smugglers.

You are from Melbourne fo crying out loud, you shouldnt really be having problems, but you do have to distinguish yourself from 'normal'

 

@ Vanilla Gorilla, perhaps my problem is that I should move away from dating sites and get out there. Perhaps I could try gay bars?