Is her refusal to be with another man fear or legit?

My wife and I have been married for almost 40 years and have had a very "up and down" (no pun intended) sexual relationship. She is obese and feels bad about her body and is shy about some things in the bedroom even after all of these years.

I have had a very long term desire to watch her be with another guy, especially one with a good size cock. I, unfortunately, wasn't blessed downstairs, on the lower end of the "normal" erect scale. She claims that she has no desire to have anything else and that when we use large toys they are sometimes uncomfortable, yet her getting wet and moaning leads me to believe that may not be entirely true. She's played along with me and asked if I liked watching "the other guy" fill her up, etc. I don't know if that's just for my excitement or not. She claims she doesn't fantasize, which really perplexes me. I have told her that there are guys out there who don't care about that and that she deserved to be sexually fulfilled.

I really want her to experience being filled by a real cock, the motion, the heat, the passion. I don't know if I should drop it or keep trying to figure out how to gently open her up to seriously considering it. I am thinking about having an in-home erotic massage given to her, but I am pretty sure she will not want to have someone else see her nude. Should I go ahead with that?

Any suggestions, advice on how to proceed, things to do, say, and/or try would be appreciated.

If you want to be rude, please move on.

 

Well, I don't know how much help it'll be, but I blogged my one-and-only attempt (successful, BTW) to get my wife into an MFM threesome. This was back in '85.

buzzgunner's Blog | Hip Forums

It's in two parts. If you read it, read the second half first. Otherwise they're out of chronological order.

 

TX Gentleman,
We are a senior couple as well. I don’t know if I can help answer this question. There are too many “mental”moving parts here. Obliviously, she is very protective of her relationship with you. Traditional marriage values and religion come into play as well. These are huge road blocks when it comes to fulfilling sexual relates in a marriage. Not to mention hormones and her T- level that effect her libido. It’s never to late to have that checked.
Have you ever sensed that she is sexually unfulfilled by you? You should at least tell her straight forward of your desires for your sexual needs. You have survived 40 years with her, you will survive this conversation. Let her think on it some and don’t push.
My wife opened up after we retired and now we are more sexually compatible than ever. Nude a lot. And on occasions have “respectful/meaning” sex with other couples. It enhances our already strong relationship.., not replaces it.

 

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We love using toys in Fantasy threesomes too. Unlike your wife I tend to just give a Mmm or a Yes between moans while he does the sexy talk. He is more confident than me & better at it. I feel kind of silly but I do enjoy letting him know when he's doing something that feels hot!
When we were younger we talked a lot about Swinging. We chatted to other couples online and came close to meeting but never felt they were ever exactly what we were looking for. My Husbands best friend & his partner were the most likely candidates but they moved a long way away and then split. Sorry this is long winded but what I am getting at is maybe Fantasies should stay just that. You obviously have a very strong Marriage. Is it worth jeopardising it? Don't trick her into it by arranging a 'Massage' for her with some hunk. Although the thought of that would probably be a turn on for her.(Me too lol) She might feel awful afterwards. I know I would If my husband did that without discussing it first.

 

My wife had lots of sex with other men in college, and after a few years of marriage, I asked if she missed the variety. She was slow to answer, so I gave her permission to have sex with others. She worked in a medical office and got lots of offers from sales reps and even patients. She had a few one nighters and then stopped. She is still free to do as she pleases after 40 years of marriage, but she says the thought just doesn't appeal to her anymore. She still gets the occasional opportunity, but always refuses.

 

I agree

 

My wife too worked in the medical field. She traveled average of once a month for a few days each out on trips for meetings and sometimes with her boss, the doctor. I did many times go along to accompany her and I got to see the goods out there and how the people were. It was normally many times the same people so she knew them well. I met many of them of both genders that were into the fun of sex. I gave my wife a hall pass for whenever she went to these out of towers to mix it up if she wanted to and that included with her boss. I saw the interest from others too toward my wife. She never in the fifteen years she held that position ever took up the offer. She now has retired. And I've asked her if she regrets never indulging and she said no. I'm sure she missed out on a lot of fun

 

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If you ask your wife it'll happen

 

Depends on what you mean by obese. She may feel ashamed of her body. In that case some men like bigger women. But there is no guarantee, she will enjoy a huge penis. Having a big dick, could be a big disappointment.