okay, I am having this problem with my boyfriend and his exgirlfriend. They claim to be best friends and even though she lives in california on the other side of the country and they rarely see each other it still makes me really uncomfertable when they do. they just stare deep into each others eyes and it is soooo clear to me that they still have so much love for each other. it hurts me tremendously when they are together. I have talked to him about this before because I thought he was still pretty hung up on her when him and I first started dating. he had all these trinkets and pictures that reminded him of her lying around. Anyway, now she gave him this really nice little statue that musta cost her a little $$$. It kind of bothered me. I told him it makes me uncomfertable when they are together and that I didn't really like that she gave him such a nice gift. Now it sits on the dashboard of his car! I mean, is he trying to rub it in my face? I know this is out of insecurity but how could I not be a little insecure about my boyfriend and his beautiful exgirlfriends relationship? I don't know how else to get through to him because I have talked to him MULTIPLE times about how things from his exgirlfriend bother me, I don't know what to do. Everytime I talk to him he gets mad, and I appologize. I don't know what to do anymore. He is all I have and I don't want to lose him.
apparently it cant get any clearer that he is still in love with his ex.. you had signs when you first started dating and you shouldnt have gotten in a relationship with him, like you said he was still hung up on her when you first started dating... I would tell him he is apparently still in love with his ex, and then step out of the picture, ya know... How could you not want to lose him..he doesnt really sound like he is into you, so why would you want to be with him.. well that is just my take on it and my opinions.. good luck...
i know i know it is pretty clear that he still has some sort of feelings for her. Even though they rarely see each other, I still feel like I have to compete for him in some aspect. I mean, I know he loves me...but I feel that I love him so much more. I know it isnt about who loves each other more, but it feels that way. I sit there and pour my heart out to him about how much I love him and he just says "I love you too." I mean he does little things that shows me he cares, but I know that if this girl wanted him back and if it was geographically possible for him, he would take her back. It kills me inside because I feel like I could never do enough. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, but I just don't feel its recipricol all the time. This relationship is soo painful sometimes.
don't wanna sound like dr. phil (haha) but looks like you already lost him, it's just a matter of time before they kick it. ruuuuuuuunnnnnnnn.....................
why put yourself through all of that, why let someone make you feel miserable.. I know you must love him, but i was in a somewhat similar position as you are.. but the guy I was with developed feelings for someone else, but pretended he didnt.. you cant help the way you feel inside, who you have feelings for... I told him he needs to be with the one he loves (though it hurt me, it was better then feeling the way I was feeling when i was with him) he wasnt an ass, he just loved someone else, it happens.. There are millions of people out there, who's to say he is the one for you, especially when it seems his heart belongs to another.. ya know what i mean.. I just think the pain of ending it with him, would be better then how you feel now...
Well obviously this guy isn't listening to you anyway so call it quits.. This guy should care about your feelings and apparently that isn't the case.. The only reason I ever kept anything that was my ex's was because I still cared about them.. I have NOTHING that belongs to them and I hope to God above I never see them again I had a really good guy friend last year (he was my best friend) who joined the AF and we talked on the phone about every week and when he got a new gf she insisted that we not keep in touch, she thought of me as her competition (even though she still talked to her ex and we were in different states) and we haven't spoken since.. It sucks for me..
the shitty thing is that u probably gonna lose him anyway because he's sort of living in the past. u need a man who's willing to put u in the centre of his attention and not treat u like an attachment while drooling over some past shit. maybe he's all u have but he's definitely not all u can get out of this life. think of better and better will come. for a start take that stupid gift off the dashboard and break it in two (cause u've warned him, whatta fuck) then take some distance. u don't need such a stupid man.
i wouldn't put up with that. You've tried talking to him. I'd seriously leave, it might wake him up if you're still interested by that point. Like orgazmik said, the only time I keep anything of my ex's is when I still have feelings for them, otherwise I throw it all out without thinking twice ya know? Or if I hadn't gotten rid of it yet and found out it was making my current love uncomfortable I would do something about it right away.
the thing is, he always replies with "but she is still my friend, i don't even consider her my ex-girlfriend, shes my friend you will have to deal with that because its not going to change." and i have tried to deal with it, and he has made some attempts to get rid of pics and other things of hers, but it seems like that would only make him want her more!!! ahhh! I dunno how to get through to this guy without breaking up with him....
Ok...first, there is no getting through to him, and if he truly feels the way he says...then there is no getting through to you. You can't change anyone but yourself, but you can sure waste a lot of precious time trying. Life is just to short to spend it feeling like the one you love spends more time thinking of another. My guess is (I didn't check) that you are still pretty young. The hurt of ending a relationship is never easy at first, but he is not all you have. You have yourself and that can take you anywhere. So having said that, tell him. "Look it's been fun, but I'm gonna have to let you concentrate more on obsessing over your "best friend" cause I gotta get some "me" time. So if you ever decide that your girl should come a little higher than your friends, give me a call. Otherwise, you can take your statue and shove it up your ass" After that, get out and adventure on your own, something better is bound to come around...Peace and good luck to you!
