Intrusive racing thoughts coupled with thought broadcasting

In social situations my brain will start spouting of very offensive thoughts repetitively and no matter how hard I try to ignore them or wish them to completely quieten they will not this is coupled with the intense feeling my thoughts can be heard and /or I may be muttering them or my voice box is sounding them out no matter how hard I try to keep my mouth closed until they quit. I'll sit and turn up my headphones to try and calm myself til this ends and I'll even breath slow deep breaths to try to slow my brain down or sometimes drink alcohol to slow my brain down. This makes me hesitant to socialize anymore because I don't want my brain to start doing this and give people a bad impression I can't enjoy socializing how I would like or used to because of this happening. It really is not fun at all I've always had social anxiety but this has cut the cake with me. It's like my brain goes tourettes on me. I know this sounds odd or crazy but does anyone else experience this or can tell me how to make it quit so I can enjoy socializing again?

 

What you resist will just persist. Are you able to step back and observe your thoughts without placing much importance on them or expecting them to stop? Just observe them as if they are not even yours. Do you think you could do that?

 

Can relate in some ways to that, for me it is those thoughts that inflate me with fits of anger turning quickly into rage and fury and general contempt/hate for everyone, good that it always happens while alone, at night. Also, in the time of a few days every company wears me off and I start feeling like an unwanted annoying intruder not fitting in by the least bit so I so to say pack and leave. TBH I've always felt -or been - the stranger, outsider, odd fellow, I started packing, occasionally drawing a knife while 12 just to keep bullies and naggers at large and this attitude I tried to kick it away with some success, but now it is coming again big time. OOps I think I diverted the argument, I'm misplaced here . Always been

 

Same here man. I understand on naturally feeling like an outcast

 

For all I can witness, but hey! just me, all the awkwardness can go away for some time but it keeps coming unless I do some real breakthrough stuff, I'm not going into detail but it is a matter of stirring things up and never let your thoughts stagnate and go their own way, keep them busy by any means but never let them unchecked. I prefer acting silly rather starting thinking about the quickest way to murder everyone in the room in case they jump over me without warning. I strive to be someone else and not the angry kid of so many years ago. Have some time to travel if possible and don't overthink, do things your way, the gods favor cheering carefree fools over reclusive introverts. Also: the hardest you think about your misery, the hardest your misery lashes at you. It is a circle that must be broken just like an abscess needs to be drained but again, I'm no guru, You just pick what seems fit to be helpful for your situation, pal

 

Thank you Brother yeah I really shouldn't judge my thoughts in fear someone else is judging then because how would they feel of I was judging theirs? And people can be very... Narrow minded I try to consider even the worst of sinners faulty logic and how it can and could be corrextescand forgiven. Every one just wants to feel higher in their own eyes man. I am tripping music time (Zep) fuck their conjecture and piousness