Into Asain/french girl

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by mick8882003, May 13, 2007.

  1. mick8882003

    mick8882003 Member

    Ok here goes, I am a first time poster, so be nice pls.

    I have been chatting to a girl from vietnam over the net for some tweleve months now, we really do love each other. I am from Australia, she is from veitnam. We met when she was studying over here last year, we only met once in Aus and she seemed a little shy and she went to sleep in the car, we cruised around and talked and then after awhile she fell asleep for like
    20 min.
    I can tell she is really into me 2.
    There is a HUGE age difference between us, I am 35, she is 18. She has had a lot of bfs and has been with one other guy (an asshole, got her pregnet and left) I have had very few gfs, im not that sophisticated with women to be honest.
    We are both attracted to each other, and really get on well, we are best friends.
    I am planning to go over to Veitnam in three or four months, she wants to get engaged, I am seriously considering doing so.
    Tell me what are some of the things that I should be asking myself about getting engaged, oh yea and my gf? I have a stable/good job, which I enjoy.
    One of the things is if such an age difference would be a problem in the family/friends.
    Its weird, I am a good judge of charater yet and somewhat understand most people, but for the life of me cannot understand why I am drawn to this girl that is a bit of a mystery.
    Also do any of you know about asain culture?
    I want to understand what I am in for lol.
    Mick
     
  2. Grim

    Grim Wandering Wonderer

    35/18?

    A lot of people here are going to give you a lot of "Follow your heart" nonsense.

    But they're wrong.

    She's a kid. I won't get into you being creepy, but I will try to make it very clear to you that in three or four years she will be damn near a completely different person.
     
  3. mick8882003

    mick8882003 Member

    yes fair point, and im am cool with that, to be honest I have changed a lot in the tweleve months I have talked to her, so has she.
    To be honest I have thought of thought of telling that I have had enough, but I don't want to regret the consiquences and I know I would regret it, I am not entirly sure how I feel about the whole thing, hence the post.
    Hmmm, I don't feel creepy, I don't treat her like a kid, she doesn't act like one. I'm no pervert, two things that keep me coming back to her, friendship, and her loyality.
    One thing that does worry me is if she is old enough to really know what she wants, then again I am not sure I do lol.
    This is starting to freak me out a little, not the creepy bit, just that I have spent so much time talking to her ect. and I still dont know myself.
    Mick
     
  4. mick8882003

    mick8882003 Member

    yes fair point, and im am cool with that, to be honest I have changed a lot in the tweleve months I have talked to her, so has she.
    To be honest I have thought of thought of telling that I have had enough, but I don't want to regret the consiquences and I know I would regret it, I am not entirly sure how I feel about the whole thing, hence the post.
    Hmmm, I don't feel creepy, I don't treat her like a kid, she doesn't act like one. I'm no pervert, two things that keep me coming back to her, friendship, and her loyality.
    One thing that does worry me is if she is old enough to really know what she wants, then again I am not sure I do lol.
    This is starting to freak me out a little, not the creepy bit, just that I have spent so much time talking to her ect. and I still dont know myself.
    Mick
     
  5. mick8882003

    mick8882003 Member

    hmm, so all I get is vauge comment about it being creepy here, come on people I need help pls, I am trying to decide what to do here pls.
    Mick
     
  6. Musikero

    Musikero Supporters HipForums Supporter

    You asked about asian culture. I take it that you want to understand it so that you will understand your girlfriend better, which is a good idea. Now, the best way to understand any culture is to immerse yourself in it. Start by studying about Vietnamese culture. What are their customs? What is considered polite, and what is rude? YOu already have at least one good source of information - your girlfriend. You can get additional information through the internet and books.

    As for the age gap, in theory it shouldn't matter if you love each other. But this is real life, so you need to consider that your life experiences are very different from hers. You've been a legal adult for over a decade - she's only just begun. So yes, it does matter. And her friends and family know this, so naturally they will be concerned.

    That's basically what you're getting yourself into. What you both need to ask yourselves is, "Am I truly willing to work on all these differences (age, culture, life experience) and spend the rest of my life with this person?"
     
  7. mick8882003

    mick8882003 Member

    Thanks Musikero, I was freaking out thinking that people were thinking i was some creepy old bloke, to be honest I only feel 25, but thats another story.
    Tell me is such an age gap a conceren in asian culture?
    I am a nice guy, really I am, now that sounds even creepyier.
    I need to get off the net.
    Mick
     
  8. Musikero

    Musikero Supporters HipForums Supporter

    I think such an age gap will be a concern in both asian and western culture, for reasons stated above. But if you guys are really serious about each other then give it time and eventually they (the family) may come to accept you.
     
  9. Musikero

    Musikero Supporters HipForums Supporter

    Oh and I forgot to mention this. Be prepared for people to speculate as to why you guys are together (you know what I mean: "But he's too old for her - she's probably a golddigger and he's a dirty old man). I know, it sucks.
     
  10. mick8882003

    mick8882003 Member

    Its wierd, that first post really floored me, the thought of being creepy really freaked me out. A few days later I decided that I am mature enough and responable enough to make my own decisions.
    It might sound weird, but I am glad that first poster said what he said, I have never been afraid of narrow mindedness, I only pity it.
    What we have is somthing special.
    Mick
     

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