insanely scary mushroom trip

bravo

 

its true

i remember i was on 5 hits of LSD and i remember talking to someone in my head and it felt like it was my dad or something. He told me to stay here and to not trip anymore. Ive had a few bad trips after that and the same kinda thing happened, i felt like i talked to my parents and they were warning me not to take it too far... and this mushy trip came and it was like they abandoned me and i was going in head first.

I have learned a lot from tripping but from this trip i have learned that tripping isnt for me

 

not with that attitude

 

i would love to keep tripping i really would theres so many questions left unanswered

but honestly having that bad trip really affected me and 100 good trips wouldnt make up for that bad one

so im trying my hardest not to take any acid or mushrooms

same shit every fucking time no matter what anybody says to me about tripping

computer/matrix/alien/breakout bullshit happens to me and i flip my shit

 

to L.S.D,

i didnt even read your whole post becuase i know how major the feelings of a low part of a mushroom trip can be. hey man, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. your straight dude, dont think about it too much, youll get over it soon

 

Just sounds like some deep-seated guilt/fear of variable X because it will lead to variable Y.
Come to terms with tripping before tripping.

 

and how do you know when you have come to terms with tripping when your not tripping?

 

when you think to yourself "gosh I could sure go for a trip"

 

keep a bottle of whiskey or some benzoe handy------i feel you and fuck bad trips---all good or drunk or sleep thats my thing----why go through the bullshit? just cas hippies say ride it out?---fuck that ---kill the bullshit while enjoying the blast--i get alot of flack for this but i want enligntenment and extasy not the bullshit---anyway peace

 

you only want chocolate flavored enlightenment

how enlightening is enlightenment when it only appears under an enjoyable guise? What about the other half of the universe, the not enjoyable part?

Why be master of the Yin if you still crawl like a baby in Yang.

 

because it's "nice"

 

Everyone experiences thought loops. It happens. This (when not experienced multiple times) leads to fear. Once fear takes over the mind produces images of many things that you may fear (for the OP torture images). It's often the most terrifying experiences that bring a significant positive change to the mind.

 

Your first few sentences seem right on to me, but toward the end...
It sounds as if the skipping you refer to is either memory or habit...in either case I don't see how you lost faith in free will. People can learn from habits they find to be unhealthy or mundane, and memory will obviously repeat in the same fashion because it has already happened, and will never change. I haven't experienced skipping or thought looping in 2 years now. Once I got past it in a "bad" experience it ceased to occur in any other trip I've taken. We all move to a particular rhythm, but that does not mean that free will is entirely void in our existence. Without free will a sense of loss can never truly be felt, and loss is something we're meant to feel here. Just as love is an emotion we are all meant to feel at some point.

 

No, no, no, no, no .
Only the inexperienced require company tripping.
If you chose to treat psychedelics such as acid, and shrooms as only "party" drugs you're begging for a rude awakening.
If you're afraid of dying you shouldn't do psychedelics in the first place.

 

neo, have you studied the nervous system much? humans do get set within certain patterns, in the way we move, think, feel, ect. these neurological pathways might make free will seem illusionary. but it is entirely possible to introduce new patterns to your nervous system through awarness. its very difficult to do on one ones own though, and it can take a long time, but certainly it is possible.
we are only holding certain patterns because we dont know any other route that "feels" right. these patterns have a feeling of rightness (unconcously) only because they have worked for us. (think about your posture, how automatic is the way you carry yourself. even if its not the most beneficial way to stand its a very difficult thing to permanently change, because of the neuromusculatur patterns that have been established.)

i dont think the time loops with mushrooms indicate a lack of free will. just cyclical pathways fireing.

 

It caused me to lose faith in free will because the repeated and renewed belief in free will was always present with each and every skip. Imagine waking up to discover that everything you did yesterday was programmed (during which you thought you were making your own decisions) but it's ok because that was yesterday, was just a dream, was just a trip, today is your day, and then at the end of today you wake up again to find that today was in fact yesterday all over again.
I don't see how a sense of loss can never be felt without free will.

First of all, let me just say that I think summarizing an entire day's activities, thoughts, emotions, discussions, and reflections to patterns determined by comfortable neurological pathways is an oversimplification. It's like taking the logical leap from making a man's thumb twitch by stimulating his brain to making a man compose a symphony of the caliber of Bach by stimulating his brain.
I also believe that the act of introducing and incorporating new neurological pathways to your nervous system is encompassed by the lack of free will.

 

happened to shulgin when he tested 4-ho-dipt:

(with 20 mg, orally) "Fifteen minutes, it starts and develops fast -- very nice -- some leg tremor. Thirty minutes, I am already well over a plus 2. Speed of onset is incredible -- I could not drive -- I feel robbed of voluntary action. Forty minutes, this could not get any deeper. Fifty minutes, incredible orgasm. Fifty five minutes, I struggle to put a name to it, just +++ smashed -- with eyes closed very little -- I am somewhat chilled -- no visual, no sensory, this seems like an extreme Aleph-7 beth state as it was described in PIHKAL. One hour ten minutes, Rubenesque fancy -- no sex but back-to-mother cuddly imagery -- removed from physical angles. One hour thirty minutes, go for two very significant pieces of wood for the fireplace -- if all my actions are preprogrammed and I am following commands, then I have no free will -- if the command is 'to have free will', then I obey. Whom? Who? Why obey an undefined, unheard commander? Still +++. Nothing is inventive, all is preprogrammed. One hour forty minutes, back to ++, still very much in the grips of 'lack of self determination.' I could function rationally in the lab, but following 'whose' directions? Is this finally God? Is this a religious experience? One hour fifty minutes, down to +, This has to have been a religious awakening. Two hours, still a little zombie-like, but largely down. Two hours twenty minutes, I am still shaken to my roots by these realizations. Three hours, completely together."

 

your talking about having gone through entire days time loop sober? or being in a time loop on mushrooms, and it feeling like days? im not sure i understand your position neo.
are you suggesting theres some kind of groundhogs day phemonenon at work here?

 

thats what i was thinking

 

yes

yes

No. I'm suggesting that time is not linear, reality is not coherent, and in our totality we are nothing more than the end result of an influence of a larger totality being projected onto a very small part of itself.