Well, I guess that this is acually the exact opposite of Parenting, but I wasn't sure where else to put it. I have a bit of a rant about infertility. Or actually about people's reactions to infertility. I swear, If I hear one more time, "Think of the money you'll save." or "At least you never have to worry about condoms" or "You're still young, you have plenty of time to decide what else you'd like to do with your life." I'm gonna scream. I realize that it isn't as big of a deal to some people as it is to others, and sometimes (I emphasize SOMETIMES b/c I have met some very kind people on this forum) people who have children don't even consider that it could be a big issue for those who can't. But even people who don't understand the difficulty of infertility should understand being a decent human being. I can deal with the people who you know are speaking without thinking, just trying to say something comforting. The ones that really bother me are the people who know what what they are sayng is callous and continue to defend it. Anyone else have to deal with ths kind of thing.?
My daughter went through 2 1/2 years of fertility treatments. She had 7 miscarriages during that time. She could get pregnant but she couldn't stay pregnant more than 2 to 6 weeks. She had a progesterone dificiency. She finally was injecting herself with meds every day. She now has a beautiful 1 month old baby girl. But it was a long hard struggle for her. I'm sure it must be very difficult for you. I won't say I understand or it will be all right or any of the platitudes that people say at times like this. It is a loss and is very painful. This loss needs to be grieved. When you are ready to make plans for your future and your future family, please consider adoption. We have a wonderful four year old son that we adopted at the age of 5 months. There are children all over who need parents and parents like you who need children. Bestof luck to you and the family that you will one day have. Kathi
DM, we have considered looking into becoming foster parents and seeing what happens from there. I've always wanted to adopt a child, I just never considered the possibility that it may be my only option. But I have heard many success stories. I'm so glad things worked out for you daughter. That's incredible. I know that it's a long hard road for many people, but it's infinitely worth it, huh? DH and I finally had to take a break from charting, and temperatures and oulation tests, but we are by no means giving up altogether. It just seems like everyone is expected to follow a cycle,(i.e. get married, get a house, get pregnant, so on) and I'm tired of the inane comments. Many people dont' seem to understand that sometimes, it's not just a matter of deciding "ok, we're ready" and then poof you're pregnant.
I certainly can empathize with you on this. I know for my daughter it was a hard struggle. Adoption can also be a struggle. It took us almost 3 years to get our son with two failled adoptions in the process. But the end results are incredible. (Although there are days when I want to give him back.) People didn't understand what we went through either. After all it wasn't like they were our "real" children. And they never lived with us. But to us they were our children, especially the second one. We had spent a week with her, held her, feed her, and loved her. I still wonder how she is. We have all the pictures and video of her in a special box. Your child is out there waiting for you and you will have him or her some day. Kathi
I am sorry you are going through this, Sugar. I was not infertile myself, but my mother had secondary infertility after I was born (I was her first and only birth child, with 3 years of infertility before me and 15 after me) and I saw the tears and the depression every time she'd get her period. My parents wanted a house full of kids so badly. And back then, there were no treatments or helps. Even now, it doesn't always work. I am sorry for your pain. There are no words. My prayer is that somehow, somewhere a child finds his or her way into your life. :Angel: Peace, sister.
