Inevitable Epicurean?

I was dead set on being an introvert. I was proud of it. It gave me a sense of control, a way to "deal" with society. I would just stay away from people!

Right now I'm subbing at a language school. I have to interact. I have no choice but to play the extrovert. So I put on my epicurean hat. And it's pretty fun. But I've lost my way to "deal." I have nothing to hang on to. I have no coping strategy. I have no sense of control.

What do you think?

 

If you are finding it fun at the moment, what is it that you need to cope with?

Hmm ok I guess it is the (feeling of) the lack of control. But how is this affecting you?

I think being an introvert can be great, but I wouldn't try to be one. Or derive pride from the fact I am one. I would be proud if I were you, just for getting out of your comfort zone and finding out not every kind of interaction with strangers is that bad at all (well you probably knew that already but you're expanding it anyway. And it seems good )!

I'm not sure I fully understand the downside. Is it something you're afraid of or is it actually happening?

 

Thanks for weighing in Asmo.

It's not actually happening in the present moment. I rarely get disrespected.

I have bones to pick with people and society.

An example of a bone I have to pick with people is that they're too controlling and bossy over me, or at least have been in the past. My so-called friends would lord over me. I was their little bitch.

An example of a bone I have to pick with society is that sexism isn't taken as seriously as racism.

I don't know how to "deal," other than to be in semi-isolation.....

What do you think?

 

One meal a day ought to do the trick.

 

Met with my therapist two days ago (Thursday). She's shocked that I'm working at the language school because she knows how introverted I prefer to be. Not sure what to do. Diet doesn't help me cope much. Maybe have that epicurean hat in my grab bag....and say fuggit.

 

introversion/extroversion isn't really a choice, it's just what you are. i'm definitely an introvert, and i have a very social job. i just need to make sure to make some time to be by myself and recharge either during the workday, or when i get home.

 

^^Do you feel comfortable at your job? Do you enjoy it?

 

yes, and yes.

 

Thanks for weighing in.

I don't feel 100% comfortable being super social at work and I have be, being an English teacher.

I still have a chip on my shoulder about people and the way they "are."

Maybe I should just say "fuggit?"

 

I just got invited to a church dinner on a Tuesday night. At this point I'm thinking I can't really justify calling myself a loner.

Is it time to let go and say "fuggit?" Or should I continue to find a coping strategy (i.e. solitude) for these issues?

 

Life is managed, not cured.

I can't just drop it and be this social person.

I tried it today and it triggered my condition of having fake fights with people in my head. It was dramatic and frustrating.

Looks like I'm just meant to be a lone wolf. Nothing wrong with that .

 

Life is managed, not cured.

I can't just drop it and be this social person.

I tried it today and it triggered my condition of having fake fights with people in my head. It was dramatic and frustrating.

Looks like I'm just meant to be a lone wolf. Nothing wrong with that .

 

I didn't go to the Parish dinner btw. Rev Jeff must have forgot to even email me with the logistics i.e. address of the university where the dinner is held every Tuesday evening. I was worried for nothing.

 

I think you are very human, and happily an inquiring one that seems to be on the right track. Discovering things are not for you (if it turns out to be so) can be just as enlightening

On here you seem quite social and having fun asking and conversating with others. You don't strike me as an antisocial person. Maybe it all depends on the exact environment, individuals/crowd. Feeling aversion about being social with co workers you have nothing in common with (for example) doesn't have to mean shit.

I don't want to advice to just say fuggit, as it really depends on the person and situation and after all I don't know either in this case very well. But I can relate to this a lot, as I tried becoming a history teacher at one time and quit it after finding out by experience I did not like motivating a class of unmotivated kids, playing an authority role (if the kid doesn't want to work on his assignment yet doesn't bother other kids I'd say well fine with me), and of course the dreadful communcation in the teachers room. Don't get me wrong, I got a lot more respect for good teachers.... I just don't enjoy hanging with those highschool teachers. I felt like being stuck in a rut from the first day already.

But you don't have to be super social all the time of course. If you can time it that's good enough.

 

Hi

I want to give people one more shot so I won't miss out.

I just have to let go of the resentment I have towards the general public.

How do you all think I can do that?

 

Focus on individuals, not the general public.

 

That's perfect!

I think I'm ready to socialize.

Thanks

 

Okay it didn't work out. I was totally unstable.

I need control.

So I guess I'm an introvert and a loner.

So I'll have to look for a more suitable job. Something for loners, like office work, like my side job.

Thanks for helping me figure it out and become more comfortable with who I am!

 

Nothing wrong with being an introvert and/or loner. Unless you're really unhappy or unsatisfied about it yourself of course! I wouldn't necessarily shape my whole life around the fact/awareness that I am an introvert though. But yeah, I'm not that introvert myself all the time. Sometimes I do get really fed up with having to be obligatory social for too long with people I didn't pick out to be social aorund myself... But I think that's entirely normal. I do a great job myself too btw with avoiding that these days. I interact with lots of people when I'm working, but only for about 5 minutes max with each one (pure bliss ).

As long as you don't connect you being a loner or introvert with being antisocial or not social at all it's all good. Other people are fun to interact with, just not all the time

And... you're welcome. Glad I can help a little