Hi All I am an Indian gay man here in US; I always knew I am gay since I was 14-15 and was content with it. I recently came out to my parents after the usual Indian arranged marriage talks came up. My parents have remarkably accepted me well. I plan to get married (same sex marriage/LTR) to a relationship-oriented gay man here in US. I prefer a Desi/Indian gay man here in US, just coz we would be of same culture. I've also registered at a couple of gay dating sites. I have spoken to quite a few good decent educated Indian gay men and while we've had a lot in common with respect to lifestyle, culture, expectations, coming out, family pressures and issues, etc., what I fail to understand is everyone wants to take it slow. They want to just be friends and keep their options open and just expect the perfect man/prince to come and sweep them off their feet etc. etc. I hope we all find our perfect mates but perfect doesn't exist, let's be realistic. If one keeps his options open for long and chooses to remain in dating phase forever, age wouldn't stop incrementing and then? I mean, I have no right whatsoever to convince them to change their views. But I am in early 30s now and if I am unable to find my partner in a few years then I might be too old for marriage and who knows, I might not even contemplate marrying. Not that there's an age for love but why not to make a relatively sensible decision at the right age and settle with a decent partner who may not be perfect as your dreams but one who is loving, honest and ready to adjust with you. No two people can be alike and any marriage, be it straight or gay/lesbian is about 2 people who like each other (and may be love each other to some extent) to live together, share the pains and joys of life together and be with each other and support each other for life, right? My issue is how to find a partner who thinks like me and why are all the gay men I'm meeting online differ from me so much and just want to be friends. I haven't registered on the gay dating sites for just friends. Surely, I can start with friends but eventually it has to come down to dating unless one of us dislike each other for any reason. Why are Indian gay men in US so non-committal? My post was long so thanks for reading it. No vicious/negative comments please.
