In this field of dandelions I think of nothing else But those winter nights we used to huddle Now on this great summer moon before us all The only action we take is just our normal cuddle Breathing the stars and thinking of where well be In the next ten years or perhaps a century But to speak the truth I want of nothing more Than to just see the moon blaze on your eyes Then to lay with you till the morning comes So we can watch together that lovely sunrise
It has the makings of a good piece, Needs a bit of editing.Too wordy in places, the use of "but" and "just" doesnt seem to work well to me. I did a bit of what I was refering to below. I hope this doesn't offend you but it was the only way I could think of showing you what I meant. By the way, I love dandelions. In this field of dandelions I think of nothing Except those winter nights we used to huddle This great summer moon before us all The only action we take is our normal cuddle Breathing the stars and thinking of where we'll be In the next ten years or perhaps a century To speak the truth I want of nothing more Than to see the moon blaze on your eyes Then to lay with you till the morning comes So we can watch together that lovely sunrise