In The Month of Forever

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by gdhmomchild, Jan 13, 2005.

  1. gdhmomchild

    gdhmomchild Duct tape abuser

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    It was in the month of Forever,
    when my feet never touched the ground.
    And everyone lived on the outside parameter of the Glow of Us,
    in the time that anything was possible.
    Then I blinked and it was June again.
     
  2. *peace*child*

    *peace*child* Member

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    I like it. It's short but sweet.
     
  3. White Scorpion

    White Scorpion 4umotographer

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    The beauty of this poem is that, just by looking at it, I know it hides something enigmatic, a bit like the smile on the Gioconda's face.
     
  4. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    Glorious opening....month of forever...mmm lingering and inspired!
    Concise but full of emotion! That (relationship?) bliss that you just want to frame, free the time, make it last forever, but it never does....you've captured that so well! Last line is a tumbling down to earth, quite harsh, very realistic.
     
  5. inbloom

    inbloom as the crow flies...

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    i like this line, alot.

    "Then I blinked and it was June again."
     
  6. OneUndone

    OneUndone Member

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    Nice work, Kim. Very eloquent and lovely, in your usual style.
     
  7. browneydgrl

    browneydgrl Member

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  8. kidder

    kidder Member

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    Why pick on June? Or maybe that's what you intended. Few months offer the promise of such an idyllic thirty days. And why shouldn't it be the month of forevers...I guess they were right...we wake to dream.
     
  9. gdhmomchild

    gdhmomchild Duct tape abuser

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    we wake to dream..

    I didn't pick on June, it just happened to be June when I blinked. It is permanently framed in my memory, where it won't fade or tarnish. Thanks all for your comments. I really appreciated it.
     
  10. littleskinny

    littleskinny Member

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    this is a perfect moment. a wonderfully framed past and present. Sentimental fool, I am, to be touched so....
     
  11. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

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    Do you know I don't think I have ever before read a poem of yours? I'm happy now that I have :)
     
  12. gdhmomchild

    gdhmomchild Duct tape abuser

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    ~* Firebell!! *~
    where the hell have you been chick? lol, you must've blinked. I had several on the forums before it did that crash and burn do over. I post on rare occation, just not a very prolific writer and fall into angsty cliche crap.... that make me fell better that night and cringe in the morning light..... Speaking of wriiting tho....I hope you have some post for us soon. Take care sunshine!
     
  13. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

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    Love the thoughts here. The years do seem to fly by! At least your month of forever is warm sunny Juneā€¦ mine would probably be a chaotic carolinian december day (wake up, go outside in shorts; eat lunch, put on pants and a jacket, lol)

    The flow of the third line is a little distracting, though, imo. Perhaps cut some out, or add another line?
     
  14. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

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    Hmm...where have
     
  15. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

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    Hmm...where have I been...somewhere magical I hope! I haven't been able to access this place for a long time, my computer refused me :( And then the damn thing wouldn't let me re-enter hipforums as 'Firebell'! The nerve of it! Apparently, that name is already in use...hence the variation in spelling, 'Firebelle'. I've missed posting though, never thought I would say that because I'm always so shy and guarded about my work...I am so, so pleased I read something of yours though! You must post more, and more, and more...

    Don't lose touch

    X
     
  16. gdhmomchild

    gdhmomchild Duct tape abuser

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    fulmah~! yeah, i agree but couldn't figger a way to tweak it..w/o using time yet again and that woulda been worse i think.

    Firebell, yeah, that happened to a few peeps, hate to say but glad I wasn't one a them. I may dredge a few that I posted before the crash and burn...but what about you dear little one...you've had alllllllll that time, hehe......so give. Very glad to see you back
     
  17. Bhaskar

    Bhaskar Members

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    I haven't said this of anyone except Richard Brautigan... you write like I do: beautifully well.
     
  18. sylvanlightning

    sylvanlightning Prismatic Essence

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    Now is the boundless space,
    where horizon intertwines surface;
    here we merge, like children
    into the flowing curls
    of radiant solar flares.

    Eternal,
    we commune,
    wordless and formless...
    then, July comes.
     
  19. steffan

    steffan puffin

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    I miss you
     
  20. Hippievixen

    Hippievixen Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    'And everyone lived on the outside parameter of the Glow of Us'

    I love this line.
     

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