In the long run, do you think it's better to be with someone you agree with about everything or someone that is often or always in disagreement with you and challenges you? I still can't decide which makes for a better relationship. I used to always think it was ideal to be with someone who had the same tastes and opinions as me, but now I'm not so sure. Is it better to be with someone that keeps you on your toes and questions you, maybe even pisses you off?
I believe that it is better to be with someone who agrees with you, unless you are able to agree to disagree. If one person in the relationship takes a difference of opinion personally, IT SUCKS. If you always agree with the person you are with, you will be in harmony. You can always come to HF to find someone who disagrees with you, and creates a challenge for you. As far as that goes, there aren't too many places that I can think of that I go where I don't disagree with someone at one time or another.
I think it depends more on what you agree on and how you deal with disagreements. It's important to agree on the things that are really important to you, maybe not all of them, but many, core values, etc. But it's also really important to be able to argue or disagree without there being bloodshed or the emotional equivalent, in my opinion.
Ive almost exclusively been with guys i dont have much in common with and disagree with and i'll take someone i agree with any day. Being challenged can help you grow as a person but being constantly at odds with someone isnt fun in the long term.
My husband and I are opposites. I'm wild and crazy. He's conservative. You would never look at the 2 of us and put us together. We don't agree on a lot of things like politics, music, movies, etc. It depends on how you deal with them. If they are issues you fight about in your relationship then its not good. We are very good at agreeing to disagree. I have been known to say "Next time I get married I'm going to marry someone who agrees with me" I couldn't be with someone that thinks exactly like I do. That's boring. In the end you have to have the same morals and goals in life. Those are things you have to have in common. Little things like what you want to watch on tv or things like that don't really matter. When we vote I always make him put his ballot in first. That way I'm canceling his vote out. hahaha. Even though we cancel each other out we always vote.
I think that there was a study that said having similar personal habits (such as similar tendencies toward punctuality) was a better predictor of relationship success than having similar political views.
My wife & I have a few things in common when we met & have found new interests as well that we both enjoy. We both have different interests as well. We have sometimes have disagreements but that's life. No marriage is perfect - my 2 brothers & 1 sister had failed marriages & partnerships before & after. One brother had an affair with his wife's much younger sister & he split up from his wife & married her sister. His 1st wife remarried & we still keep in contact with both his previous wife & his new one. My wife & I have different opinions on different topics & we don't always agree on them. We sometimes even have arguments to - because we are not always in agreement with each other.
something in between. you don't want to date yourself, but you also don't want to date your worst enemy.
