In love with a woman need help

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by LMI, May 25, 2013.

  1. LMI

    LMI Guest

    Hi I am new here. Just fell in love with a woman for the first time. Never had these intense feelings before. Problem I worked with her ( she hired me) an was my " tutor " too. I quit my job do to these intense emotions as I could not concentrate and we sort of tried to ignore each other an our emotions amongst the other coworkers.

    Question: We have had EXTREME eyecontact for minutes at a time. She stared constantly and it´s the most extreme thing, I have ever tried. When I quit and were leaving, she pulled me tight and we hugged ( fullbody for 5- 10 minutes. So intense.

    I am not sure if she was flirting or just given me a long " maternal" hug goodbye, we will never she each other again.
    Then she acted and talked about something professional and in the way she did, when she was my tutor. She is much older than me by the way.

    If she wanted something would she have made a move? Asked if we should have coffee or should I have been the one?

    Feels devastating leaving her. I have no idea if I should just leave it or contact her.

    Some help would be really great here:confused: Thanks

    (If she is a lesbian or bi, she used to be married to a man, she was closted at work)I am almost positive she is a lesbian )
     
  2. Kahlan

    Kahlan Member

    Well she is of age obviously, so I assume you know where to find her right? Not sure what is holding you back. "Almost positive she is a lesbian," is about as close as your gonna get without asking her out or finding out from her directly. Put an end to your misery and ask her out or make a definitive move. The worst than can happen is she says no and is offended. Since you are no longer her pupil then it's really nothing lost by trying. There is another saying here: "Nothing ventured nothing gained." If you were still her pupil then my advice might be more cautious, but you won't have to even really deal with all the awkwardness of your rebuffed, so go for it!
     
  3. LMI

    LMI Guest

    Thanks for the reply. I am extremely clueless here. I am used to men usually asking me out. If she has been flirting with me, bigtime all along ( and finally I flirted back)...Does it mean that she decided to let it go? Meaning I want to respect her and not be some kind of stalker ( it´s been a month, already. Also the " tutor talk" after the hug was a turn off.

    Don´t know if it´s normal to hug really tight for five minutes. Seemed like a " we are never gonna see each other again" , but had our moments hug. A hug with some sighing ( me) and touching each others bags/waist gently, involved)
    Don´t know, because I really want to respect her boundaries, yet want to see her again. I am completely out of my mind on this one.:confused:
    ( I wasn´t just a pupil. She hired me for the job and we worked on an assignment together, too) . Don´t know if that´s why.
     
  4. LMI

    LMI Guest

    Don´t know if anyone else is willing to analyse this with me? Why did she give me the " tutor" talk after the hug ect. Sigh..I am out of a job now and she holds a good position, perhaps that why she did it? I am a mess and so in love with her. Our life wouldn´t ever match. We are at different stages. Just want to look into her eyes and hug/ touch her again. Never felt this "mental" before. If we both know it wouldn´t work out in the long run, would it wrong of me to "ask her out" just for a quick coffee or something? Sorry but I´ve never felt this way and could have misunderstood it all, as her just being " maternal"towards me?
     
  5. Same here i know exactly how u feel. Am a straight girl and am deeply in love with my headteacher who's lesbian. I want her to know how I feel towards her but its really hard for me to just go to her and tell her that. She's 41 n am 26 n it's been almost 3 years that my heart started to beat when I see her. Every time I see her my heart has a race n my legs weakens I get really nervous n can't get my words out properly so I tend not to speak when she's around but I do t want her to think that am blanking her.
     
  6. LMI

    LMI Guest

    Sorry you feel this way, too. Hopefully we each, find some kind of solution, to put us out of this misary. Hugs.
     
  7. Thank u n I hope so. Hugs

    Oh n am really sorry I unlinked ur post wanted to click on like but my thump is big n clicked on wrong one :-( xxx
     
  8. Shadiatique

    Shadiatique Member

    OmG. I never thought I would say this, but Im exactly in the same situation. Just last month I started a new job and now Im in love with my new collegue. She is the most attractive women I ever met, very beautiful. And I actually feel ugly next to her, she is 42, divorced and single. I could just ask her but I cannot decide to leave the job if she rejects me.
    I kind of enjoy her smile and would keep enjoying that until she realizes that I exist :(

    Best hope for both of you.
     
  9. LMI

    LMI Guest

    I am sorry to hear, that you are having a difficult time to.


    Hugs

    ( Håber også på det bedste for dig. Knus herfra)
     
  10. Shadiatique

    Shadiatique Member

    Loving someone is a beautiful thing even if it is from one side.
    Hard yes but very beautiful feeling.

    ( tak søde. Hvor er det dejligt at læse noget dansk her. Jeg håber ellers at du finder ro i dit hjerte snart. Hvis du kunne tænke dig at dele dine følelser med nogen så er jeg klar)
     
  11. LMI

    LMI Guest

    True......a very hard, complicated but beautiful feeling, at the same time. Just wished she felt the same :blush5:....Oh well.Sigh.

    (Ja altid dejligt også at kunne skrive på dansk. Det var sødt hvad du skrev og i lige måde)
     
  12. Shadiatique

    Shadiatique Member

    We must think of a plan tho' its very exausting to have that feeling.

    (Det er altid spændende at skrive dansk i et udenlandsk forum. Vores hemmelig sprog ;) - dansk er ikke mit modersmål, så jeg bruger den tit som mit hemmelig sprog når jeg er sammen med min familie. Så du må vide at det er så spændende at skrive med dig lige nu ;) )
     
  13. Kahlan

    Kahlan Member

    Forgive me if this sounds overly simplistic or rather cold, because I do empathize with you all. I've been there too, and may very well be again, but it seems to me that when given a choice between self induced misery and putting an end to it, well, you could just ask the person out. Or find out about how they feel by being forward enough for them to reveal something, if anything. I don't mean walk up and say "hey, I'm falling for you what do you think of that?" But maybe there is a way to find out by being forward enough to ask them to coffee or tea, and allow/use the course of that event to probe for more? Angst can be fun for awhile, but eventually it needs to resolve itself or you will fail to see the one who stands right in front of you. Loe is truly blind in so many ways. We get blinded by obvious signs that it isn't right, or that the person isn't worth the time and effort. We get blinded by fear of the unknown, and we get so myopic about the one we pine away for that we can't see that there are others who are worth loving and will love you back.
     
  14. LMI

    LMI Guest

    I think this thread, is also about the fact, that we are talking about being in love with a former employer, a coworker and a headteacher ;-) I don´t think you sounded cold. As for being overly simplistic...oh well;-)

    Hugs
     

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