I'm worried and just need to talk

I'm not sure if this is the right forum, but I figured pregnancy and scares are something women can mostly all relate to, and I couldn't find another forum that made more sense.
I'm about to come off as so selfish in here, because I HAVE been selfish, but I need to vent a bit so here goes:

I can't go on the pill, well I spose I could but its not advisable, since I have high blood pressure, smoke, etc. Plus I'm bi and prefer women, so it doesn't seem to make sense to take the health risk of going on the pill.
SO, I keep VERY close trake of my menstrual cycle and when I'm ovulating.

Well, I have this "Friends with benefits" guy who I don't want to be my boyfriend or anything, but we have really amazingly great sex sometimes. Last time we were together was late on monday night. I new I was in the "red zone" told him that, and that we had to use a condom.
Well, he agreed, and had the condom in his hand, so I SWEAR I thought he had it on! I was blindfolded (my idea) so I didn't actually see him put it on, but it was assumed. But then halfway through, he pulls it out, and says "I'm gonna put the condom on now." (I'm still pissed BTW!)

Now, I know precum is WAY less likely to get you pregnant. But it CAN happen. It actually happened to a friend of mine this year.

Here's the part where I"m a selfish b*tch. I would never abort. But I did not stop drinking. I'm starting to think I may have a problem with drinking, but whatever not gonna get into that now. I drank on tuesday, wednesday, thursday, and friday. Not hard alcohol, wine, but a LOT of wine. Then last night I had the wine and some cocktails. Plus I"m a smoker and haven't stopped.

And now...I'm WORRIED. What if I am pregnant, and I've already harmed my baby????? While I was in church this morning, I kept praying that I"m not pregnant, but then I realized its completely out of my hands if I'm pregnant or not, so I decided that I'm DONE drinking until I know one way or the other. (if I am, obviously I wont be drinking for nine months, and I"ll quit smoking too....somehow).

But....even though I'm stopping now, I just hid my wine from myself so I wont be tempted and will not be buying anymore...what if I am pregnant and those five days of drinking have already done damage?

I don't know if I could ever forgive myself if thats the case. I'm really worried.

I'm so NOT ready to be pregnant, but if I am, I'm going to have my baby and LOVE it. How can I live with myself if I hurt it?

Hopefully I'm not pregnant at all and there is nothing TO worry about!!!!!!!! But from this point on I'm not drinking until I find out for sure that I"m not. My period is due on dec. 14th, so I'll just have to wait this one out I guess.

Thanx for listening I needed to vent, sorry if this isn't in the appropriate forum.

 

My advice is to get a pregancy test as soon as possible. You get ones which can tell you whether your pregnant very early on these days. Meanwhile, it wouldn't be a bad idea to cut down on your smoking and drinking, for your health, not necessarily any baby you may or may not be having!

 

Wait for the pregnancy test until your period, if it's late. Home tests can normally detect pregnancy around the time of your missed period, but not necessarily before. Personally, I would rather wait til around period time so it's less likely to get a false negative than if you take one right away.

Peace and love

 

From a logical look at this ,you had sex last monday night, the 26 of nov, you are not due for you period until the 14th of december...so unless you have really odd cycles of both menstruation and ovulation chances are slim...

as to the drinkin n smokin bits,,, do ya realize how many of us drank smoke and did many other crazy things before we knew we were pregnant....,,, this isnt justifying it by any means,,, but in all seriousness i think you are worrying a bit more than needed at this point,,, i would maybe suggest cutting back some on both in the meantime just as a precautionary thing ,,,but dont let the worry take over your life either ... and next time would suggest that you fuck buddy get it thru his head that condoms r a necessity

 

what dilli said.

I think you could do well in learning about fertility awareness. Knowing your cycle would allow you to know the possibility of ovulation/fertility/pregnancy. A good book is Taking Charge of your Fertility by Toni Weschler.

And again, as dilli said, most of us did stuff before we knew we were pregnant. But the embryo doesn't implant and grow a placenta until the next few weeks, so the likelihood of anything you've done causing harm is pretty minimal.

I'd calm down until your period is due, giving it an extra couple of days for the stress factor and just find your balance.

 

plus, I would use condoms to prevent stds. they are soooo common. i'd be a lot more scared of getting a std than getting pregnant!

 

Found it online, they asked for the first day of your last period and stuff.
Tech. it was so late on monday the 26th, that I think tues. the 27th is what I should be going by.

http://www.freeovulationcalendar.net/index.php?option=com_womancalendar&action=render&josDate=2007-11-16&josMP=28&josML=5

So based on that, should I be worried or am I being overly paranoid?

If I don't have to be worried I wanna drink, but if there is any chance I wont...

Oh and btw I know I have to wait till my periods due before a test would even make sense.

 

Well, actually first response or it's generics you can test 3-5 days before it's due...

 

According to your calendar, it's pretty unlikely. Don't get too worried unless you don't have a period or your period is unusually light. That can sometimes happen when the embryo imsplants. But if you want to be sure, take a pregnancy test around your period, maybe a couple days after the day it's supposed to be. I would rather err on the side of caution by taking the test when it's definitely going to be positive (if it is) rather than worry about a false negative by taking it too early. There are tests that claim to tell a few days before your missed period, but I wouldn't want to take the chance that it might be wrong.

Peace and love

 

Have you taken a test yet lilah?

 

Dump your "friend".

 

Okay, I'm not a doctor but I used to work in a busy OB/GYN department of a hospital (as an ultrasound tech), so I know a little bit of what I'm talking about.


First of all, when a human egg is fertilized, it doesn't get any of its nutrition from the mother for the first couple of weeks. While the embryo develops, something called a "yolk sac" also develops along with it. It's a built-in energy system for the developing embryo until it can make its way down to the uterus and get settled in, which is usually 10-14 days after fertilization.

So what I'm saying is that any drinking or smoking done by you before this time is not likely to have any effect on the fetus, since there is not a placenta or umbilical cord as of yet.

Secondly, I know that you already said you're selfish for drinking and smoking (if you are pregnant). I'm glad you recognize that, at least. But if you are pregnant and plan on carrying this child to term, which you already said you would, I think it's beyond selfish to continue to jeopardize its health. That's called abuse, not selfishness. The baby does not need a smoking, alcoholic mother either before or after it's born. And even if you turn out to not be pregnant, you really should get some help for your addictions, because they aren't good for you, either.

 

Hey first off thanks so much all of you for listening and replying to me throughout this, I seriously needed to vent. I only ended up telling two of my friends about any of this, it helped to just get it all out anonymously like this.

Anyway: its looking good...I think. My period was due today, and I took a test first thing this morning, and it came out NEGATIVE. So thats GOOD. But, I still haven't gotten my period. I have had cramps. Not horrible ones, but I've been having them on and off since yesterday. So thats a GOOD sign.
I think I might be late regardless just because I"m so stressed....not just about this, but in general, its been a REALLY stressfull time lately.

But, if I'm wrong God help me, but I think the test I took this mornign is probably right. I did everything right with the test (didn't drink anything but water past 8 last night, etc) and I have had cramps on and off all day, so I"m ALMOST sure I"m not pregnant. I wont be positive that it wasn't a false-negative till I get my period, but I Think it is coming.

Pregnancy scares suck and I"ve had too many! If I"m not pregnant, I think I might still go see if its ok for me to go on the pill now. I haven't had a panic attack in a REALLY long time, maybe my blood pressure has gone down now, I haven't been to a doctor in over a year after all. Maybe I can just go on it. I'll see.

*sigh* thanx for listening to all my crap!!!

 

***i'd be a lot more scared of getting a std than getting pregnant!***

That's without a doubt the most selfish thing I have ever heard anyone say.

You're saying you're more concerned with sores on your privates than being responsible for another human being's life?

 

because i'm in a situation where I CAN afford a child. I have a great job and I will have a B.S. in Education by the spring. So yes, I'd be a lot more scared if I got a STD. Stop being fucking judgemental sir!