This is something very personal and private for me that I've been hesitant to post about anywhere else except here. Long story short, I am trapped in a relationship that I cannot leave unless I want to be homeless. I live with my boyfriend at the moment and because we both have our names on all the credit card and bank accounts, and he cut up all the cards, I can't get away and access them and run away. I don't know what to do, i want to leave, but the only way I could do that is if I became homeless, he ultimately has control over the money so I can't get it. Help?
Go to the bank with a picture id and write a counter check for money out of your account. The bank won't stop you if your name is on the account. Unless he has you under lock and key there is always a way. Yeah, sometimes the way out really sucks, but it is better than staying. Good luck! ....you could try posting ads for "free housekeeping for room and board" and see if you get any responses.
Where is your family? This is a time when you should try gathering up your friends and family for their support to help you get outta this mess which unfortunately you got yourself into. The lesson you can take from all of this, is to always have a separate bank account just for yourself. You don't want to have your hard earned money, financial freedom and your future happiness, ending up in the hands of with a total jerk.
Somebody has been watching all together too much Lifetime. Nobody is going to stop you from withdrawing money from your account. Nobody is going to stop you from getting a job/continue working a job. Nobody is going to stop you from opening another bank account, with only your name on it. Nobody is going to stop you from moving out of your BFs and moving by yourself or with a roommate. Don't let yourself become a victim of yourself.
Although I think Frieden is partly right, being in an unsafe relationship can be very difficult. I suggest going to the bank and see what options you have but yea where is your family or friends? It is really good that you have opened up and I wish you luck.
There should be organizations in your area that can help you. There a women shelters that are available for you to stay at. Maybe the police can help? What you need to do is get out, this is not a good situation and I know its hard (been in a family situation similar). But it will be better in the end. Is their family you can relay on? Any friends? I send you all my strength!! When you get out of this situation promise your self you will become an independent women who no matter what can support her self.!!!
I am just checking this to see if there was an update and had this thought.....there are a lot of women (and men) that know how to get out of a bad relationship safely. How do they do it? So, why don't we post "tips" on how to leave in one piece. * Do not forget to clear the cookies in the computer if you have posted your situation online. Delete all emails about your situation, or have a private email account that you do not access on your home computer. It's not too hard to follow someones tracks on a computer, so make sure to cover them. * Start stashing money! Pennies, quarters, dollars, anything! Keep the money well hidden (top shelf in kids room is good so you can claim it is a bank if its found) and don't get into it unless you are adding money, no "borrowing." In an average month my family have $30-40 in coins from just tossing the change from purchases in a bowl . Just think how much there would be if we really started saving it. **Those are a couple of my tips...anyone else?
I guess my suggestion is make sure the cashing the check thing is the last thing you do on the way out the door. It doesn't sound like something you would want to discuss with him before you leave. Also I don't know the laws in Arizona but some states have common law marriage where you are entitled to half of all assets.
