I hardly ever form any kind of attatchment to anything. I'm not sure I would even shed a tear if one of my parents died. I'm moving house in around a month, and couldn't care less that I will most likely never see my friends (who I have known 7 years now) again, I will most likely never see them again because I don't want to see them again, I am just indifferent, its not that I don't like them, I just don't want to spend any of my time with them. Over the last year I have spent less and less time out of the house (other than college). Which is probably mostly to do with my friends having interests, that to not interest me (clubbing, exessive alcohol, etc). I am in a relationship right now, and he says he cares, but I don't feel it, I love him in a way, but I don't want to be anywhere near him really. I just want to curl up in a corner on my own and sit in silence forever. Would be nice to be sent out into space in my own little pod type thing and never have to interact with a single person again. I want to tell someone I know how I am feeling, but I don't want to be misunderstood and I am NOT looking for people to feel sorry for me. I just want to be happy, and capable of having some kinda ambition. Right now I'm just drifting through it all. This probably doesn't belong here at all, I'm sorry if anyone actually wastes their time reading this, and sorry for spelling mistakes of which there are many, I'm sure.
Well, I don't think I have wasted my time reading your post. At times I feel the same way. I just want to shut my door and leave the world outside, and be left alone, but not as much as you are saying here, mate. You sound so depressed, love. I don't want to push you to open up to me about your life, but something is eating away at you, am I right, love?
It is just a passsage you are into and is perfectly natural. We are not all happy all the time, and soem times we can feel we dont care or are unhappy without any appearent reasons for it. You jsut feel depress, because nothing interest you. You lost apetite for life, and it happen, it happen to all at some points in our life. You cannot expect it to go away on its own, you will have to do things to try to come out of that state.. like thinking about what you will like to happen, and taking you to do things to change your mind, and to go outside and walk long walks in the country or in a park. Rigth now you are bathing in it and enjoying it, so to speak. You have to take yourself by the hand, and go out of this state.
I do go on walks with my dog just about daily, and its nice to be surrounded by the trees and stuff, it is something I quite like doing. This isn't really a recent feeling, has been on and off for the last 6/7 years. I say on and off meaning the feeling will subside for a while, then I will spend a good few months like this. I don't have anything in particular that bothers me. I think I have quite a good life compared to many others, I have a house to live in, I'm not abused in any way, I never have to be hungry, etc. In the end this is all very important, but material things never really make me feel better. Thanks for the replies.
