of beign happy of leaving the house.. every time i do, i just bottom out again emotionally. i'd almost rather be this numb freak than risk the feeling of my heart getting torn out again, and again
What's wrong ihmurria? You have no reason of being scared of going outside the house or being happy. Whatever it is that is going on right now will get better. Sounds plainly stupid but just look back on times when things were rough and they got better. I am here to talk if you want it
it's one thing to learn from past experiences, but quite another to feel trapped or cornered by the past. definitely a tough place to be... know what, though? you've got a lot of life left to live and a lot of potential for life in general. hard times come and go, but they're not forever. i think every one of us goes through tough times, some of us more so than others, but in the end most of us are eventually able to come to terms with life. keep your focus on the present and the future. life's not static and passive- it's moving, changing, and active. i'm often tempted to throw in the towel on life, but am told on a regular basis by those who are a lot older than i am that 19 is a bit early to be giving up! you're 20, so the same goes for you. i love the quote "love like you've never been hurt"- that's my goal
The best things in life are gotten through taking risks. Being numb and afraid to experience things because of something in the past that has happend to you only makes you suffer more even if you aren't feeling anything at the time. You're missing out on a lot of great things and are only inflicting more of the pain you fear by staying this way. I'm not sure what the issue is but staying at home won't change things at all. Besides bad stuff can happen to you there too. There is no way of getting away from the crappy things in life. But holding yourself back from feeling the good things like your doing now is the worst thing you can do and will only add to your problem.
Exactly what I've been experiencing since I started university. It's like I feel I have nowhere to go, or better put I don't know WHERE to go. People around me are all meaningless, they come and go and I can't even pick up a friend from the crowd. That's why I keep coming back home.
