I'm pretty fucked

So I've been smoking for about three years now and still live my rents. They are very against weed and have caught me a number of times but it has come to the point where they stopped making a big deal about it. This is about how I fucked that up.

My nightly routine is usually homework/tasks that I need to get done followed by a bit of video games and then smash a bowl before I head to bed and watch some shows. It works very well and I love my system. Well the other night I ended up leaving my bowl downstairs (just forgot) and my parents found it and started making a HUGE deal about it. They don't really understand weed and misinterpret it as an alcohol like substance so they started accusing me of being a drug addict, smoking by myself at night and kinda disobeying their rules I guess. There's nothing I can really say to change their minds as much as I may have tried in the past; my mother is an extremely damaged and close minded person mainly steming from a hard childhood.

Basically they reacted by cancelling the insurance on my car until I agree to attend a meeting with a "counsellor" which I finally agreed too because the bus schedule is so fucked up in this town. Now they're saying that if I don't take all my weed and paraphelia off their premises I will have the insurance cancelled forever and I might get kicked out of the house.

I'm really out of options at this point; I've proved I can get good grades (I attend university with a 75% average), I have lots of freinds and I have a good job that I enjoy and work hard at. Is it so wrong that I like to unwind in the evenings with a solo bowl?

Either way I'm probably going to have to quit for a while, you can't fight what you can't educate, just wondering if I'm completely out of line here. I know how to handle myself and the "drug" and although it's their house is it really their place to force themselves into the situation and stop me from doing something just because they don't understand it?

Just seems kinda ridiculous I guess. Probably ruin my relationship with my parents for a while unfortunately but I've just lost all respect for them. They purposefully stand in the way of something that makes me happy and to me that's just not right especially if I've made the effort to be responsible with it.

Sorry for the rant guys, just could use some feedback from people who have actually been in this situation/know and understand marijuana.

EDIT: They also used to let my keep my shit in the garage if I bought a safe for it (which I did) but now they're saying I have to find somewhere to put it before the end of the day. I have nowhere to put it and this is just gonna be another battle. I'm so fucked because I don;t want to disobey them but I'm almost out of options. O well guess sometimes ya gotta live with it.

 

just find another hiding spot. somewhere nearby the old one - they'd never think to look there

or just move the whole operation outside. the problem with that though is it tends to find its way back in

 

get ur own car insurance and keep smoking weed.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fuck the man

 

Well, I can see how they'd react the way they did after finding your bowl downstairs. It's their house and they could've gotten in trouble for that if someone just happened to visit and see your bowl sitting out in the open.

It's their house and their rules, so you at least have to be extra careful in hiding the fact that you're breaking their rules:sifone:

My advice would be to stash your weed and your bowl in a safe place and give your parents a few more days to calm down. Chances are, things will return to normal soon. If not, then just be more careful and perhaps don't take your bowl out of your room, unless it's in your pocket and/or you're leaving the house with it. If you go outside to smoke a bowl, make sure to put it back in your stash as soon as you're finished, so as to make sure you don't leave it downstairs anymore.

 

It is a drag trying to conceal behaviors, to worry about being discovered. I don't think understanding of marijuana is needed here but an understanding of interpersonal dynamics.

Perhaps they feel that if you have no drug problem than it should be no issue to set drugs aside while you reside with them. From that perspective, it is a legitimate question. If it is a problem for you then it does appear there is a psychologically framed need.

There are many instances when marijuana use is deemed inappropriate and it may be a long time before the stigma associated with use will be overcome. So you are going to face some measure of resistance no matter your station or residence. We have prohibitions on drunk driving for example that are commonly agreed with as being appropriate.

 

Been there done that, this is probably the 10-15 time I've had my shit found. I always end up moving it to my garage or outside but I'm an absent minded person and I slip up, accidentaly leave it in my pockets or backpack or something.

To be clear it was in a drawer by the couch and they rarely have people over downstairs so it's not a big social problem.

Also this is exactly as I typically deal with it and it's worked well in the past for a month, 6 monthes or even a year at a time before I slip up again. It's just I've always been absent minded ever since I was a kid and I don;t mean to leave it around I just fuck up every once in a while. I'm really at a loss for what to do because they are dead serious this time; if I fuck up i'm done.

Not really sure how I'm going to take care of it but it;s REALLY nice to hear some positive support that isn;t just "listen to your parents".

 

I've put some HUGE thought into this believe me and I'm glad you brought it up. I can quit and have for certain situations up to a few weeks at a time but I just don't think I should sacrifice something that make me happy just to prove a point ya know what I mean? I absolutely agree with you, that is how they see it and I've even wondered at times with all this being pushed on me constantly.

Maybe I should quit for a little while, but I really was hoping the opportunity would come up naturally.

 

Well if you really have no other options, you obviously have to at least take a break for a while and maybe get someone you trust to hold onto your shit for you. Better safe than sorry.

 

Your parents sound like great people who are worried about you . Maybe they don't understand your drug use as " being no big deal " . Butt ,they shouldn't have to . To them it's an illegal drug . Now your leaving paraphernalia all over the house . What would people who have no experience with drugs think ? That YOU have a problem , is what they think . In my opinion it's a total lack of respect and boundary infringement on your end . After being told several times that they don't like it in their home , you still continue to disrespect them and do it anyway . Why not take it outside , or some place else . I give them a lot of respect and credit . Cause if it was my house you were disrespecting that way , you would be out on your ass ! At 19 they should not have to worry about their kid using illegal substances in their home . Give them the respect and credit they deserve , and knock of the bullshit in their home . They obviously are good people who love you very much . You sound like an okay kid too , just think about what you're doing . My friend you are going to find out in life that respect of others , is one of the keys to having either a great life , or a not so great life . As far as the insurance you should be paying for it yourself , if you want to drive . At 19 you have to begin to take personal responsibility for your own life . And you will just like most of us eventually do . Smoke your bowl , just do it somewhere else .

 

If I was the hypothetical parent here, my thinking would go along these lines.

I'm letting my ADULT child live in my house to (presumably) save money while he goes to university. That money he should be saving is being spent on drugs. I am being taken advantage of.

 

i agree with the last two posters. you gotta follow your parents' rules. to them, it's an illegal drugs just like heroin and you might as well be leaving needles around the house (i know it's not that bad)

75% isn't really that great to do in college

 

Your "absent-mindedness" seems to be as much of an issue as your smoking. (Perhaps it's a by-product of that smoking?) You seem to have reached an understanding with your parents in the past but screwed it up by being careless with your equipment.

I'd suggest quitting smoking at home for the time being. Keep your stash and pieces outside or at a trusted friend's and restrict your smoking to weekends or the occasional week day.

But don't bring anything home and make sure you keep your schoolwork up. I have a hunch that in a month or two your folks might be up for re-discussing responsible use in the home.

If they do relent, you'd best work real hard at not being absent-minded again and rubbing their faces in it.

Good luck.

 

I'd say exactly what TopNotch said

plus get your own insurance and your own car..that way they can't hold that over you

 

Teach your narrow minded parents a lesson. Move out and pay your own bills, that'll
Teach then

 

Stop for awhile. It's not the end of the world. It's sucks-but this isn't a major problem.

Moving out can be expensive. It's hard working while you're in school. You'll move out, find a job, kill yourself going to school, and have no money left over for pot in the end.

Take a break. You'll smoke sometimes. You'll start smoking at home again in a few months once this has taken it's course.

Get thru school. Try to get better grades. You'll smoke.

Things could be a lot worse.

 

Well- if by narrow-minded you mean against behavior that has the potential of placing their property at risk of being confiscated in the instance that thisisme5 gets pulled over by the po-po who perhaps find paraphernalia on him then decide to get a search warrant for his place of residence in hopes of a media-ready piece of propaganda drug bust by some gung-holier-than-thou rookie cop looking to make a name for himself; then you have a point.

For me the issue is whether someone is ready to assume the risks of a particular behavior- and in this case that behavior is using illegal substances. Setting aside arguments of whether the laws themselves are justified the matter as I see it is that by bringing paraphernalia into his folks' home and carelessly leaving it where anyone can find it... mom, dad, a visiting relative, etc. he has essentially decided for them that they are to assume some of the risks of a decision they had no part in making and on the basis of that I'd say they are completely in the right... and arguments such as what was quoted in defense of thisisme5 do no favors for those wanting to impress how marijuana use doesn't negatively affect character and judgment any more than leaving a used bowl downstairs where virulently anti-drug parents will find it... though to thisisme5's credit he does own up to his mistake.

 

Just step into your parents shoes. It has not too much to do with drugs, it's about anything. If you owned a house and someone was staying with you, and you had rules, what would you think if others just completely went against the rules. It sounds like they have put up with this for a long time, and they are just done with it. Tell them you will quit, then quit for a few months. Then come back to them and say "See, no addiction there". Not only will you prove it to your parents, but you will prove it to yourself, and you will feel good about yourself. If you are 'addicted', maybe help IS the best thing for you, to gain some control

 

Well- to revive a very tired (as opposed to tried) but true piece of whiz-dumb; it's their property so it really makes little difference whether they think the god Neptune will plague them with poisonous frogs and poorly constructed macrame doilies because of marijuana use... they don't want it in their house and have every right to fully expect that those living under their roof will respect that.

 

kinda what i was thinking... thats only like 5% from being on academic probation here

guess some peeps live by the "C's get degrees philosophy"

 

Perhaps they feel that if you have no drug problem than it should be no issue to set drugs aside while you reside with them. From that perspective, it is a legitimate question. If it is a problem for you then it does appear there is a psychologically framed need. (i.e., an addiction)