I'm not gay, but I want to try gay sex.

Hi all, first of all I hope that this message does not offend any of you, that's not in anyway my intention, I just want some opinions from you, and maybe even offers of help.

Anyway, I'm Daniel, I'm 25 years old and I live near London, England.

For a long time I've had reason to question my sexuality, and have indeed spent a very long time doing just that, questoning myself to see if I could find out who I truly was. I think this mostly started when I was back in school, kids would tease me and call me gay... not because I was showing any forms of being homosexual, but simply because it was as good as insult as any, so it's the one they used.. Anyway, I started to explore myself, and as a result now think that I've found the answer:

I've decided that I'm not gay.

Now when I talk of being gay, I'm talking about relationships and the emotional involvement that two people have togther. I'm not talking about sex... Sex, in the majority of cases, in my opinion, just happens to be an optional extra:

i.e. Lots of very strong and emotional relationships can be formed without any sex involved, and indeed, very strong sexual connections can exist between two people without any form of relationship or emotional connection at all.

sex != relationship (not all of the time anyway)

..and that's what this post is about, While I don't think that I'm gay, I would still like to have sex with a guy to try it out and see what it's like.

Now if that makes me bisexual or bi-curious, then that's fair enough, but I don't even think that I'm that (once again, that would suggest some type of emotional connection with members of both sexes, and in all honesty, I can't say that I have feelings like that).

Anyway, one of my goals in life is to have sex with another man to see what it's like and to see if I enjoy it. But I'm not sure quite where to start.

The last thing I want to do is offend anyone, and it seems to me that I'm very much taking the piss by looking for a gay man to have sex with, just to have sex.. but it's something that I'm interested in doing, and I'm sure there must be some other people out there that feel the same way.

Anyway, I'm looking for some help and advice.. what can you guys and gals suggest?

(PS, Lets skip forward a bit.. I'm happy to admit that once I've had sex with a guy, I might be able to become emotionally attached to that person, and at that point become gay, or more likely bisexual, but as it stands at the moment, I can't say that I've ever felt that way about any other guys (which is why I've posted about myself not being gay, if you see what I mean?))

 

In a human sexuality class, I learned that from 40 to 65% of otherwise heterosexual males in several surveys, have had at least one homosexual encounter in their lifetime. I am sure that many heterosexual males would never admit to it, so the numbers are probably much higher. In fact, I was very suprised that even 40% of men surveyed would admit to it. Anyway, the point is, this is not uncommon. Most gays and lesbians that I know have also had heterosexual encounters. This, in my opinion, does not make one bisexual or bicurious, and if it does, who cares.
This should not be a difficult task for you. I am a 25 year old gay male, and having relations with a straight male is a common fantasy of gay men, myself included. You know, the grass is always greener...
There is nothing wrong with having sex just to have sex, so long as you do not mislead anyone. Just be honest and upfront. Suprisingly, we often get what we want, when we ask, just by asking.

 

If this is the case, then I would indeed be honored to be someone's 'stright man' - it's just a case of knowing where to look, you know?

About a month ago, meet someone online that I was going to meet up with for the purpose of no-strings-attached gay sex. He was going to introduce me to the world of gay sex, and was indeed keen to meet up on further occations should I find that I enjoyed it....

Alas it didn't happen. we fell out over something one day and the following day I got an email saying he didn't think he was going to be the best person to help me. It's a shame because I was looking forward to it, but of course that was his decision.

Anyway, so like I said, I'm keen to do it, I just don't know where to look.

 

If you ever come to the states, I could name many places to go to meet someone...

Now I feel like a gay pimp.

Good Luck!

 

nothing wrong with hooking up just for sex. I have a guy that I hook up with who is 24, I'm 47, and we get together just for sex. He like to top me and I like bottoming for him. We get together about 1 a month or so.

 

Does it really mater if you are gay, bi, straight, poly, or alien (I couldn't resist) . I have read that aside from the prodreation thing sex is meant to be a form of play for adults. OK, it's a lot more intense than playing doctor but kind of the same thing. The fact of the matter is you are persuing something that something in your soul needs, IMHO that sounds pretty healthy. You seem to be going into this with your eyes open but perhaps are over-thinking. You're in good company there. I think that a great deal of people who has these feelings go through it. I know at about your age I did & as they say, I wish I knew then what I know now. If I would have just gone with my inner being & not over analyzed it I would have made my life & people around me at that time much simpler. I digress somewhat...

Like PhotoGra1 said as long as you aren't decieving anyone having sex for the sake of having sex shouldn't hurt anyone. I admit I do that often. Although I have had a few usual friends that I get together with for trysts & have had one man who has really touched my soul when I go out to the gay bars I am definitly looking for sex. I am not looking for a long term relationship although I wouldn't rule one out if Mr. Right came along. Before we get down to business I always tell the partner du jour that I'm bi & married. I don't come right out & say that I'm looking for a one night stand but also mention that I have to be back home by (the time I have agreed to with Mrs. Snowdancer). Within that there are plenty of implications of the temporary nature of the event.

As far as to where to look. I would suggest gay bars. You may not be successful on your first attempt or you may. Just go there, be freindly, meet people. As long as you connect with guys & let them connect with you it should be not too much trouble to find someone to play with.

Another thing I have to say anytime I am talking about this. PLAY SAFELY Nerver be afraid to ask your partner to use a condom & use one yourself. :sunglasse

 

Well, the answer is 'no', and I know that (it's in fact something I spend most of my time trying to tell other people). I hate labels, and so as much as I can, I avoid using them for other people, and to an extent don't like other people using them on me.

So why the long speak about me being not being gay then?

Well, I guess I just wanted to be stright (uumm, wrong word, 'open' maybe?) with you guys from the start, let you guys know what the score is, and as you say, not misslead anyone. I didn't want to come in here and pretent to be gay, because I've no idea what it's like to be gay. And what experiances gay people might have had, if you know what I mean? I sure hope that someone does

To me I'm exploring something new, something which I've never done before, and so I don't know what's expected. I could invision is as being a great insult for me to come in and have gay sex, without actully being gay (if that makes any sence? LOL). I just wanted to be careful. If, as it's been said, that having sex with a stright guy is a fantasy, then I'd be more than happy to forfill that fantasy for someone, maybe even on a regular basis if I found I enjoyed it. In fact it kinda makes me feel a bit more happy in myself to find out that it is a fantasy for some people... i.e. it's something they would want, rather than something they are just putting up with to please me.

Anyway, I think I've gone on too long about this already. I am looking for a partner to introduce me to the world of gay sex, and would be more than happy for people to contact me if they are interested in getting togther. Obviously however well have to both be careful, after all I could be some mad axe murderer LOL

Oh yes, I'm very much into safe sex. I enjoy sex a hell of a lot, and therefore don't want to do anything foolish that might prevent me from being able to have sex in the future - so it's safe sex all the way for me

 

Dan, you have got to be one of the most open-minded heterosexual males I've ever encountered. I have to agree with your thought of what defines one's sexuality. It is about the emotions and not necessarily the sex. Do you have any gay friends who would be willing to help you out or at least find you someone? If you do go to the gay bars or other gay social events, make sure they know you're straight, so they know you're not looking for more or can make sure you're as comfortable as you can be.

I wish you luck in finding a fuck.
I'd turn you queer if you flew over here.
Or maybe you'd play and be gay for the stay.
Though I think you're great even if you are straight.

Mono

 

Thank you

Alas no, one of my (younger) sisters is bisexual, but she's off at university in cambridge..

LOL, I'm far too shy to go anywhere like that by myself (not because it's a gay establishment, but just because it's somewhere new and i'll be out of my element - not that I'm normally in my element anyway )

 

Quick update - I found someone.

I'm not going to go into any details about who or anything (as I'm sure he won't want he going giving that info out), but once I've done it I'll post a full report in the Love & Sex forum

I'm meeting him wednesday evening

 

Without telling us who it is, was it someone from the forums? If not, how did you two meet? We're gonna want details Thursday morning.

 

Yes it is someone from this forum... luckily there are MORE than enough members on this forum to keep you all guessing for a very long time.. so you might as well not even bother

Oh, one thing I will say, I made the first move after adding him to my messenger contact list. We got chatting, and something he said gave me the idea that he might be open to such things - so I asked him.

I'm actuly very surprised that no one gave any offers of help, but then I guess you've got to be cautious of people on forums offering free sex

 

I guess that I had better update you all. I'm sorry to say that so far nothing has happened.. we've still not managed to meet up. And even if/when we do meet, there is no gurantee of the *sexy fun stuff*, so i'd best just wait and see what happens.

But you can be sure, as soon as I do get my leg over, i'll be here like a bullet telling you all about it

 

I think everyone (be it a girl or a boy) will be gay in the future for sexuality wont matter. But i'm talking for the real far future.

 

You realise of cource at this point we won't be able to reporduce?

Unless you're talking about some other way of reproducing?

*sigh* yup...

 

of course our sexuality wont matter. We will be designing our offsprings. He/she wont matter as the basic instinct of fucking will also be considered as a "primitive habit". Just like the female circumsition in Nambia. There wont be any inserting the penis into the vagina in some 100 years time (maybe in Olympics)!

Machiavelli wasnt right but functialism will be all that counts!

 

You know what, I hate sports... but that's an event I'd like to watch

 

well, what if MDonald's starts selling McVagina Menus?

Like we eat pre-cooked (and designed) vagina meat, while watching the Olympics

 

OK, this is starting to get strange and freaky.... and has nothing to do with me getting my thang on with another dude....

 

OK guys and girls, in a very strange twist of fate, I've now decided that I'm going to have to give up my search for homosexual adventure... my previous bisexual curiousity ratio split of around 10:90 (guys:girls) has majorly shifted in favour of girls and is currently at around 1:99..

WHY?

I'll tell you, because I've found a girl. She's a goddess and wonderful, and while we've only been chatting for a few days now, something has clicked (for both of us), and I can't wait to meet her in person.

Now I'm not going to go overboard here or anything, I realise it's still early days yet, and as we've not even met yet, things might not go according to plan, but seeing as there is something between us, and seeing as we both want to follow it up, I think the very least I can do is stop looking in other directions... which means stopping my quest for homosexual sex.

I still think that I'm bisexual (and well, feel that EVERYONE is), but seeing as the coin has landed, and given me a female, I'm not going to complain...

wish me luck guys