I'm kicking my buddy out

By April 1st, he's out. That's it. I'm evil. He can live under the Brooklyn Bridge.

 

WHat'd your buddy do ?

 

I don't understand what's going on... What's the rest of the story..

 

i agree...kick the bum out

 

What's going on is that I need my private space.

What else is going on is that I helped 'em big time and he's in dire straits. But I've been sharing a studio with him, and he spends more time in it than I.

Fuck that.

 

well, it's a shame that he took advantage of your kindness... (yes, I called someone kind, it can happen)

How long has he been staying with you?

Tell him has to go, which I am sure you are planning on doing..

That is why I rarely let someone stay with me unless they had too or had no place else to go...

 

man, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar....

 

It's been over a month. He's a great guy, but a little dense.

He should've gotten some hints before about not overstaying his welcome. Now he's getting the boot.

 

You funny, dude. I'm chaning my shit anyway.

Blake's got a quote I like.

 

Yeah, fuck bums. I've already supported a 35 year old with my life's savings for a few months and NEVER again. Fuck that. If you can't make it on your own, tough shit, I have to make it on my own.

 

Yeah thats a little harsh. I don't think I could do that to a pal, but if he's bugging ya, then feel completely justified in asking him to leave. You'll be nothing but supported here.

 

Actually, this is not something like I'm mad because he sits all day.

He can sit all day and still be a great friend.

It's just a matter of, this is seriously derailing my life. After work, I usually go to afterhours bars just so I can have a little time for myself. Because I can't get it in my own home.

So, it's really about me and not him. Hopefully he understands.

It's going to be tough to say it though: "I want you to move out by April 1st."

He's a good guy. I don't know what he is going to do, then again I'm not the one responsible for the situation he's found himself in in life.

 

Quite the predicament you find yourself in, mate! Not one in which I would like to find myself.

I would suggest not being as direct, strictly in terms of the words used, as "I want you to move out by April 1st". Then again, this seems like the type of situation in which your pal could easily take advantage of any softly spoken words. So perhaps your direct method will work best.

Just be honest and you'll be able to forgive yourself the guilt.

 

that's shitty.

 

Thanks for the support, my guy.

I've already tried alluding to the fact that I need more personal space, that he should give greater priority to finding a job so he can move out, and that I couldn't go another month sharing my tiny ass studio with someone else.

But that didn't work. So what I'll say is:

1) We need to talk.

2) You're a great friend and I understand the predicament you're in and I was glad to help.

3) Nothing of what I say has to do with you personally. It has to do with my own needs.

4) I have been going through a rough time sharing this space with you, as I would with anyone.

5) I hope I'm giving you early enough notice so you can make different arrangements, but unfortunately I'm going to have to ask you to move out by April 1st.

6) Personal space is more important for me than for most people, and not having had it lately is getting in the way of my productivity. Which can't happen right now because I got lots on my plate.

7) Let me know if there is any other way I can help, and I honestly wish you the best.

 

Praxis, I think you have a gift with understanding the psychological aspect of humans.

 

Hell yes! Throw his ass out!

 

Awww. That's such a sweet compliment.

Really, I owe it all to the women I've met in life.

 

there just isn't anything about that situation that's gonna feel good for anyone. ugh.

 

I can't imagine any self-respecting man would fail to get the message.

Or you could nail that note to the door, change the locks and not give him a key. Ha ha.