I lift heavy windows all day every day at work... I'm basically a lift bitch at a window and door factory... my job sucks.. yet i still work overtime every day cuz i'm too pussy to say no to them. I'm a high school drop out. I'm an alcoholic tried to quit drinking countless times but what can i say... i've been drunk for like 3 years now... I smoke so much weed it isn't even funny how retarded i am 24 - 7 .. i spent time in the crazy ward, went to rehab... still sniff lines... I don't like my mother and she doesn't like me ... she constantly tells me how much of a loser i am and how i fucked up her life soo bad... even though i was on my own since i was 16... my dad lives in california where he's constantly broke cuz of his crack habit.. ... i can't go to the US to visit him cuz of my criminal record.. and he can't come to canada to visit me cuz of his criminal record... there's a warrant for my arrest in Alberta cuz i was a stupid coke fiend with a stealing habit ... i've never been able to hold a job or live in the same place for more than a year cuz i run as soon as my problems catch up to me ... The only thing in life that gives me any pleasure is my guitar and my substances.... i have no career ambition other than to play guitar and sit on the beach and drink and get high... I RARELY get laid and I don't care for a relationship... I smoke a pack of cigarettes a day and have done so for like 7 years... i'm pretty much waiting for lung cancer to kill me....yet i have no impulses to stop smoking... basically... my life fuckin sucks.... and i can't even kill myself cuz every time i tried i pussied out and ended up in the psyche ward ...... kind of feels good to get that shit off my chest even if it's just to a bunch of random Phony internet people... which might i add is pretty much the only people i can talk to and not just smile and laugh all fuckin cooked... basically fuckin pathetic... I'm even bitching and feeling sorry for myself which really doesn't even help... oh well life's a bitch and then you fuckin die ha ha peace out
{{{HUGS}}} Guff-POW. I really don't have any advice but I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you.
the hole your in is your own doing quit the drugs, stick out your thumb and make your way to montreal or something, and make a new life for yourself. sound hard? it isnt really. you will love the adventure of it once you get started. think you have too many attatchments to where you are? fuck it, if they are keeping you from moving away andbeing happy then forget about em. gota do whats right for you.
Guff-POW, I wish I could hug you! Life isn't that bad, it's up to us to make our life meaningful. Have you ever read "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl? If you haven't maybe you should... Frankl was jewish and during the Second World War spent several years in a concentration camp, there he realized that those who survived weren't always those in better physical conditions, the ones who survived were those whose lives had meaning, those who felt their life was worth something. Anyway, what i'm trying to say is that you must stop thinking like that and start changing those things that you don't like about your life. Change your attitude and start a new life. If you want to talk a little more about this, email me, ok? Hope things start going better for you.
hey dude... thanks for ahring. i know how you feel in a way. it's pretty terrible when your parnets are basically suffeting from ineptitude. it damages your self esteeem becuase they aen't capable of saying no/ looking out for themselves. this internt hing.. it's not acctually phony. i came on here and my first post was so sad.. as in low, depressive, i really was not able to speak to people. and this site has actually helped me to begin speaking to people, [ i met a guy yesterday and we're communicating great!] and from that its an expereince, even though computer technology made..but its still sharing and thats still really brave. trust me. this thing will help you out and help you start to make moves into bigger spaces. but take your time. dont put yourslef down and know that people care. like me for instance. i care nd sypport you in what you''ve got to do. there are some really brilliant minds on this place... people talk about everything and anything and are really open minded. its cool becuase its just words and no faces to judge by. i hope you stay and share some more enjoy and let us all know how things are going. i'll be thinking of you.
