I am a 32 year old female virgin. This is because there was literally no man who ever tried to pursue me, and so I must be pretty ugly or something. In more seriousness, why was there no guy that ever tried to even speak to me? I must have been the joke at the school or something. But anyway, I am not particularly religious, although I grew up Catholic, so I did not want to stay a virgin which is even sadder. I believe I'm prettier than plain though, so yay for me. I have never given a bj, nor received oral sex, and I have also never been kissed. I feel sad about it because I guess I'm a real loser. And when I lose my virginity, I hope it's with the true love of my life.
Are you making up for it in other ways, such as being seen as a dependable friend, or being successful in your profession.? Not having been kissed at 32 is quite unusual, but far from unique. When the moment comes, you will need to keep your brain in gear. Being non responsive can frighten people off, but suddenly changing and thinking that all your Christmases have come at once can have the same effect and send the poor guy running for the hills. When on doubt, let your head rule your heart, a loving and caring relationship will only result when they are both working together. Also remember that while looks can start a relationship, it is personality that sustains it.
Not necessarily. One issue is that gender relations, at least in the US (but probably many other places too) are quite poor. Some women will get very hostile if men approach them, so that may generally tend to discourage interaction. There's also a big issue about the forces shaping attitudes and beliefs about gender and gender relationships, which is too big an issue for me to discuss here. Do you have a set of "moves" or behaviors that indicate that you're interested? Often women will do things like toss or twirl their hair to indicate that they're interested. It's common for men not to approach women without receiving some level of communication of their interest. Aside from meeting someone just in public, there are also other avenues of finding a potential romantic partner.
I’m no expert and have no solutions to offer but wonder if you have any close female friends you can discuss this with. It doesn’t have to be in terms of “I’m a virgin, how do I get laid?” but rather along the lines of “I don’t seem to be meeting many guys and would appreciate honest feedback as to how I might change that.” Most of us have known people who unintentionally send out vibes that are not aligned with how they feel inside. You know, people about whom others might say something like “Yes, she can come off a bit odd but once you get to know her she’s warm and interesting.” You sound like a nice and reasonable person but you may unknowingly send out signals that point in a different direction. It’s impossible for people who don’t know you to analyze your situation in a helpful way but I hope people who know you might be able to help.
Forgive my saying so, but never having anyone hit on you in 32 years strains credulity. Do you live a sequestered life in a convent or something? It surely ain't your looks! I'm happy to give you the benefit of any doubt though, so... You need to start with a fearless, honest look in the mirror. And not about your appearance. About your attitudes and how you present yourself in the world. You'll turn things around.
Think of all the grief you've saved yourself by not engaging so deeply with guys. Lol And I say that as a guy. There's a hint in your post (op) of you being quite pragmatic but also self-depracating. Never put yourself down! I like pragmatic. Be yourself. You'll be attractive to at least somebody (many more too, I suspect). Try to separate sex from love. To have a very special occasion with your really significant guy, to have him as the love of your life, you should have reference points from dates with other guys. How could you be sure he's the love if your life if you've little experience of guys. And how would you make your first time special with loyl, if you've no sexual experience. Y'see, IMHO, love and sex are distinctly different, separate things. Your real first time will be when it's deeply emotional with that special person. All sex you have before that, be it with friends helping you or dates you want to practise on, that'll just be practice. And learning. Don't do everything with just one guy. That way, nobody will know what you're like 'in bed'. Keep penetrative sex for guys you'll never bump into accidentally, practising safe sex too. Then, when you have fou d the live if your life, you'll have enough experience to make it really special for both of you. TimNu and others also have/make good points. Hth
