yo hello people of young and old i am a messenger from god. i can say the truth here that jesus was never gods child and mary was not a virgin, i have been told by god himself. jesus was just having a laugh n made a good name for himself and mary was a bit of a quiet slag. every night before bed i pray and speak to god and he tells me everything from future shit which is gonna happen to the old stories of creation which he tells me im not allowed to tell anybody and keep it a secret. i have moaned at him a few times but he always comes back with the answer "i give human life existance, be proud to be human". i just thought hmm when i first heard it, i was moaning to him about me n my mrs splitting up but we did get back together luckily and since then god told me "you are my son and make sure you give me a good name to your mrs", i havent actually told her about this i always say that gods a load of bollocks, but believe what you want. i had a moan at god about millions of people living in africa and having shit lives and millions of people who arent rich and are poor and whats the point of doing this to so many people. he just comes back and says "when they get to heaven it will be worth living their shit lives", then i go what about murderers n shit, they goto hell but you made them so why did you make them goto hell as their destiny. he replies "do they goto hell?!?" then i say "i dunno do they" he goes "im sayin too much", i tell ya god works in mysterious ways. sometimes he wakes me up in the middle of the night just to say have a good day tomorrow n shit like that, im like 'you **** wakin me up', then i remember that he is only trying to be nice and wish me well and i calm down and go back to sleep. i asked god if star wars is actually real in a galaxy far far away and he replied "yes", i thought that was pretty decent. i said "when we're dead do we get to get yodas autograph" and he replied "that would be telling". god overall is quite safe and a bit of a joker. anyways if you have any more questions that you want to know from god write them hear and ill ask him for you for free!!! decent. anyway have a good life etc byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.