If you've ever been in this situation- I need help

So heres the deal..
Your a girl and your really close friends with this guy for a long time..
All of a sudden he came out and told you that he was madly in love with you and wanted to be with you so bad...

You being the girl...How did you feel after that? Did you give it a shot, did it work for the guy? Or did it ultimtaely just strengthen the friendship, and pretty much ended any chance of a relationship??

Being the guy whos done this...Has it actually worked for you by expressing your love to her? Did she start liking you and at least give you a chance after that to be more then friends?

Thanks for the help

 

Didn't really work for me, but I suck at this kinda shit anyway.

Way I look at it is the same as asking any girl or guy. You can only get one of two answers, yes or no. If you're friends with this person, the relationship may need to be raised by going out, and if you dont, the friendship itself could grow sour and stagnant. On the other hand, if you do start going out, you may realize that you two aren't right for each other and could either go back to being just friends or never talk again...

There are a lot of different ways things could go. Might not be the advise you want, but its really up to you and your friend. Whatever happens happens, ya know? There are too many choices in life with too many possible results to worry about. If you love the person then go for it, if you have no feelings past friendship, then leave it at that.

The girl I asked out wanted to stay friends, we stayed friends, but our friendship wasn't really the same and kinda fell apart... I wish things had gone better, but they didn't. What is done is done though, so no amount of longing for what once was will ever bring it back. Thats just life, just gotta enjoy what you can and roll with the punches =)

Good luck, and remember, whatever shall be shall be.

 

The fact the boy confessed his feelings to you means he trusts you to be delicate with his emotions regardless of what the answer is. It is up to you whether or not you'd like to pursue a romantic relationship; I'd just advise against trying to force something that is not there. However, if you are good friends, half the equation is still there.

As far as its effect on your friendship, one thing is for sure. Romantic Involvement will always change the dynamics of your friendship. It won't "go back to the way it was," but this doesn't mean you can hhave a great friendship if romance doesn't work out.

Haha, how was that for ambiguous advice?

Peace

 

I'm thinking the OT here is a guy who's just told the girl he likes how he feels. He's looking for the otherside of the perspective.

It's pretty much in the girl's court right now though. From other threads it does sound like she's interested but she's still a little standoffish when it comes to pushing things (like closet visits at parties). I'd politely apologize to her for putting her on the spot or making her feel pressured or rushed but that you needed to come forth and be honest and that from this point forward, you'll back off and just be a friend like you have been (which does sound like it was going ok). Then be patient and be as you've always been. She may come around to dropping her fears over time, she may decided it's not the best of plans - either way, she'll appreciate you not pressuring her or being a freak about things.

Patience goes a long way. You've only known her since February. Give her a bit of time to come about.

 

Advice in relationships is bullshit. You either want him or not. If you're not sure you're not sure. What he's in love with, who knows, usually it's just the inside of his own mind. Watch out when guys tell you they love you. Or girls for that matter.

--It means alot of different things. Like do you love my hair, or my eyes, no? The whole package? Well, what about when I told you last night that I was molested by my brother when I was six. Did you like that too? No? So, you mean you love me but not all of me? You're confused? What do you mean? You're confused now that you don't love me? No? You didn't mean that!--

Whatever, love is all fun and games until you get married or have kids.

Really doesn't mean anything. At best it's lots of sloppy juicy spit and messed sheets. At worst it's long distance panting and sneeked peeks.

What do you think there Highrolla?

 

My husband and I started out as best friends. But, there was some unbelievable chemistry between the two of us, and over time, we realized that we were both madly in love with one another. I was the one who finally confessed.

We've been together for nearly 10 years and are still one another's best friends, as well as husband and wife.

 

I'm married, we have three children, and I beg to differ. Our relationship has grown even stronger through these life altering events.

 

I am a guy...And so you guys have mixed feelings?


I dont know what to do- I cant stand to be in love with someone and just talk to her knowing she just wants to be friends- it SUCKS...But then again, would it be even harder on me if it didn't work and she just stopped talking to me? I mean yeah I guess I enjoy the friendship, but it's not like I want more..I need more, and if I cant get more- I dont want anything

Then again though- I dont know what its like to not have anything...Im just afraid its an even worse feeling then what I have now- which is absolutley horrible....

I dont know what to do...Maybe I try something diffrent in my way of getting girls...Ive been a nice guy to her until now, being there for her as a friend..MAybe if I turn to sort of an ass hole for a little while and be confusing and a prick- she'll fall for me...It works for everyone else...Why not work for me?

ill give it a go- unless proclaiming my love to her is the better idea?

any suggestions...im so lost

 

this is happening to me RIGHT now. id rather not give into his feelings purely to see if it would work, so i am trying to just keep the relationship as its always been; very good friends. i let him know that ill ALWAYS be there for him, but just not in that way. hes a great rguy and desereves someone who is excited about having his attention.

 

Oh yeah. Play games. That'll win her over. *laughs*

Now I understand that love is very selfish thing by nature but have some respect and compassion for the person you 'love'. Passion is great but don't let it screw things up because it's gotta be all or nothing and right now or else.