If we steal everything on top of your fridge, what we getting?

Thanks. I will sleep well tonight

 

the fridge is in the garage.. and there is so much junk piled up on it.
i'm not at home so i can't give you an inventory.. but like, it's one of those places where things get put when there's nowhere else to put them.

 

a tiny under-powered old battered and mistreated micro-wave (that works ok, though the spider that holds up the tray to make it turn was missing when i moved in)
the spoon i use to measure chocklet, another i use to measure coffee, a paper plate to rest them on, on on top of the microwave, along with the blast shields i use inside of it.
(its one of those kind of stubby undercounter fridges and under the counter that is also the cooking work surface, kind of next to the sink)
oh forgot, there's also a can opener, a scissors, and an exacto knife on the counter, not on the microwave. well a bunch of other things around the sink, but those wouldn't be directly above it.

 

haha You use a spider to hold up your microwave tray. That's weird.

 

You'd get a polished stainless steel carousel, about 2" high and 22" in diameter, half a bag of potatoes, an almost full bag of onions and 3 or 4 garlic bulbs.

 

A motherfucken chainsaw!

 

Dust and a rice cooker

 

Some bills (please pay them!) and a container of protein powder. Not much, it used to be messier.

 

Imma put some stuff I don't want up there... I expect it to be gone in the morning.

 

I store my chain saw in the garden shed. Top of the 'fridge: Half a box of stale Cheerios.

 

That was just my small petrol chainsaw. I have my electric one stored away cause it doesn't need to be on its side hehe.

 

now that you mention it, that is either the smallest chainsaw ever or the largest wine bottle ever.

 

It is a big wine bottle LOL like 3x the height/size of a normal one hehe.

 

A bag of potato chips

 

A little book with all of the names and numbers of the thousands of women I've fucked.

 

I can almost see that little black book:

Amber: Garden variety hooker $40 dollars an hour. will except a few Bennies as payment
Rebecca 1.0, Real Doll, C-Cup, will do anything I command
Tiffany: Escort Service Technician, $50 dollars and she’s mine
Cedi Hawkins; 176 cm Curvaceous Doll with huge breasts, Secure Payments by Paypal
Sexy Susan Silicone Doll - Jaw Dropping, very versatile
Anika, 4' 6" of pure joy - oral, vaginal, and anal capable
Sexy Nurse blow-up doll, large breasts, big butt, cute face
Janine, H-Cup, Playboy Bunny doll, so realistic I want to marry her
Angel: Can be found in the east village behind the Chinese restaurant; will only accept crack as payment.
Harmony, World’s first talking sex robot (I almost have enough money to make a down payment)
Lucy Lei, My Silicone Love Doll – Stupendous but sometimes tends to deflate
Big Bertha – In the Apartment down the hall, Will do anything for a Double cheese or mushroom pizza


Bucket List:

Angelina Jolie (we were actually in the same town once a few years ago)
Natalie Portman (I've seen several of her movies)
Jessica Alba (I saw her picture in the newspaper once)
Rose Huntington-Whiteley (Never met her, but I feel we've known each other our entire lives)
Olivia Wilde (Can't a guy dream)
Charlize Theron (Loved her in Hancock)
Brooklyn Decker (I once had mad sex with her nude picture)
Megan Fox (Ok, she's out of my league)
Kate Upton (It could happen)
Scarlett Johansson (She might if I was the last man on earth)
Emma Watson (I have a hand, so yes, I've had her and will again)

 

I hope you remove the door before you decide to toss it out with the rest of the junk.

Earlier this year some kids stumbled upon a freezer someone left outside for disposal. Somehow they got locked inside and well the results were tragic.

 

Don't know what's up there. I never look.

 

That's awful. Noted.