Since I've actually already written this part it would be 'Dichotomy of the Tofu Personality' not that I'm writing an autobiography just some short personal narratives and creative non-fiction stories which could someday end up altogether.
"How the F**K Did I Get Here?" of course they wold have to turn my book into a movie, and Drew Barrymore wold play the part of ME and Johnny Depp wold have to play the part of my Hubby Jason............
My book would come with a box of colourful crayons and a blank cover so the person reading it can doodle their own cover and title to it!
Oh God! Why did I create you? Not the Satanic Verses...you...you...I should have created Doctor Morganteller in your town... The Satanic Verses are about my competitor. I wrote the Holy Bible... Doesn't anyone take history here anymore? A guy leaves for 2004 years and everyone forgets about him???
Of course I didn't write the Bible - d'huh??? Who wrote it then? Jehovah??? Ol'fattie smiling Buhdah??? My son - I love you - but sometimes, you make me count to ten...mmmm...make it ten thousand...