If a guy can't stand a piece of yr clothing?

Would you rather know or do you think it's more respectful of him to keep it to himself and let you be you?

I'd always assumed the latter. Especially when it's something they wear often, giving me the indication they like the particular piece or type of piece.

But more than once, a woman has picked up on the fact something they wear turns me off and told me "Why didn't you say anything???" To which I tell them, "Well, it's rude. And who am I to tell you how to dress? I'd never do that." But on those few occasions they maintained they wish I'd said something and they would have known not to wear it when we hang out.

One time I had that exact exchange with a GF over a vintage shirt she wore that I really couldn't stand and I said, "Well, I can tell you like it. You wear it all the time." She said, she does like it but I still should say so when that's the case. To which I told her that I wouldn't want her shitting on a piece of clothing I loved, so why would I do it to her???

But that aside, what it really comes down to is I don't feel comfortable telling a woman not to wear something because, no matter how individualized it may be to a certain article or type of clothing even though I'm totally smitten with the rest of their general style, telling a woman I'm not into one particular aspect of her wardrobe feels like it's toeing the line of telling a woman what to wear, which is just icky and fucked up and gross.

But empirically speaking, I appear to be wrong? I dunno. Am I?

 

I’ve been feeling that exact way with a vintage dress my wife has been wearing lately.
I almost said something the last time she wore it but decided to play it safe and just shut-up.

It was cool the first few times she wore it but now she’s wearing it all the time and I’m really tired of seeing her in it.

I don’t think you can gain anything by telling her your feelings while she’s putting it on. Bring it up another time by pointing out a type of shirt or blouse that you think she would look great in. Just be careful not to fall into a winless discussion about it.

 

Clothing, hair and makeup. Very dangerous territory for a man to comment on. Find a positive way to spin your opinion.

 

Think the spirit of the question is getting lost here, which is not "how do I tactfully infer I don't like something a woman wears," but rather can women tell me personally if I'm wrong that it's courteous to just leave something like that be and that they actually prefer being told if their significant other doesn't like a certain article or kind of clothing.

The other part to this is for all the women I've kept my mouth shut about clothing that was a major turn off, at least a couple of women (including the one specifically cited above) had absolutely no compunction over telling me straight up they hated something I wore. Usually my belt. They were not wrong. It was an awful fucking belt. But, I dunno. Maybe just buy me a new belt as a sweet gift and leave the whole, "That belt is an overt offense to my refined sensibilities and brings horror upon all whose paths it crosses" part on the inside side of your mouth? Just a thought.

As for vintage dresses, if we're talking those really thick wool ones from the '60s with weird collars and buttons and shit, like flight attendants used to wear, I am SO with you on that.

 

I've had guy pick me uo for the symphony and they are wearing ragged jeans and a sweat shirt, and In in a flattering sheath, heels and hose. Damn right I spoke up and sent him home to change.

 

Did you just describe the only outfit I own but in multiple identical versions like Donald Duck's closet? Yes. Absolutely. Would I wear that to see a symphony orchestra? No. Because I'm a fucking class-act who knows the score when going to see one of Brahm's most famous scores, in the hopes that later I might score.