I'd like some advice on this!

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Zears, May 24, 2013.

  1. Zears

    Zears Guest

    I'm going to be as short as posible.

    I was friend with this girl, she liked to flirt with me, we flirted a lot, went out a lot and things started to get more closer.

    We got pretty close, with kisses an all, one day she told me "what do you think about having sex being just friends?", i told her it was normal but i would prefer if there is something more, i had a lot of chances to be with her but i didn't wanted to rush so much or just get advantage of her so i backed up a few times.

    Then we started fighting, she started to tell me i was being too intense, taking too much care of her, i loved her a lot and we told each other we loved but things got ugly, especially when some guy uglier than shit started to flirt with her and even though she told me they were just friends and she was never going to be with him because he is an idiot, i read some conversations with him and they were really close, like i used to be, she started to stop talking to me often and telling me stuff, and i did the worst thing you can do when you are feeling you lost her, i became more intense, trying to show her how much i loved her.

    Then she crushed me, told me she was sorry she told me things she never felt, that she only wanted to be friends and that each one of us should go its own road.

    Then i found out she was dating the guy, she was planning to be his boyfriend after all the bad things she said about him, after all we went, after telling me that in order to get a boyfriend she must know the other guy, do things slow and all that stuff, this guy knew her from only 2 weeks, and when she reads his texts she puts that face she did with me, that face that you know is in love.

    Later i find out she's been having sex with his ex-boyfriend(he is now her friend with benefits), and she told me she was virgin, and that she hated him, (her ex) that things with him died long ago and will never be back, but i knew something was wrong when i saw her with him every once in a while, but i didn't pay attention to it since i though i was being jealous.

    Then i found out she is excited about the ugly guy only because she wants to fuck him, use him, she was replacing me with him, this guy is seriously in love and is going to get hurt.

    The thing is, i dont feel love about her anymore, but i'd like to have sex with her just as friends, are there any posibilities? i am not looking at having anything more than that with her, she doesn't deserve it but i have this kind of lust about her that i dont know how to stop.

    I feel kind of weird for asking this stuff but hell i don't know where else to go or ask, if you thing i missed something, if you want to know something more in deep, go ahead and ask and be as direct as possible, there are a lot of stuff i didn't told i just wanted to be as short and direct as possible.

    Thanks for reading.
  2. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

    I personally don't think she's even worth your time and effort. I mean, chances are she'd just make everything more complicated again. It sounds to me like she gets multiple people involved in her bullshit, and that's not cool. You deserve someone who doesn't play mind games. My advice is to forget about her, try to interact with more people, people who are NOT like her so that you know she's not worth it.

    In the meantime, deal with your sexual urges safely. Fantasize, watch porn, enjoy masturbating.

    All the best.
  3. Just_a_woman

    Just_a_woman Member

    If all you want is sex, ask her. But...

    She wanted sex in her life and you weren't available at the time. You were just a friend, but you started to take too much space in her life, but giving no sex. There are always a bunch of men offering sex to a woman. Even though they weren't exactly what she wanted, at least they were available for sex. She wanted to have fun without all the drama.

    You were just a friend she wanted to fuck. That was her agenda. You loved her and wanted romance. That was your agenda and you were imposing it on her.

    If she's young, she's still learning about what she wants. And this fear people have of not looking good when they're themselves makes a lot of weak people lie about their preferences, what they really want, like, an so on. The guy she didn't like, perhaps she got to know him better and she still doesn't like him to chat over a pizza, but he's hot in bed and knows how to satisfy her. A woman may wanna fuck a man she wouldn't marry. It can be just sex. And that's what she wanted.

    I think the best is to let her be. She wanted sex and she's given you one opportunity. You didn't want, and it is your right. It was also her right to find it elsewhere. Now that's done, leave her alone. You'll be better off with a woman who thinks like you about sex. And the way you talk about her "she doesn't deserve it"... come on, be real: she doesn't want it. And if you have this attitude, just leave her alone.
  4. Zears

    Zears Guest

    Thanks for the answers, they're really helpful, i would ask her but she doesn't want to relate with me other than when necesary and she thinks i'm in love, however i can see her trying to fix things up since sometimes she just stops being cold and tries to be nice, but that is rarely, and she told a friend she missed me if that helps anything, i don't feel anything other than lust towards her now, so i think i'd just keep going with my life and if she starts talking to me again i'll ask her to be just that partner without looking for anything more.
  5. rollingalong

    rollingalong Banned

    dude?,,,come on brother...we have all falen for an angel that turned out to be whore...or just a norma chick that didnt like you/us/me

    it hurts....get over it....

    put her on the list of girls that you can call at 2 am for a quick fuck and move on
  6. Zears

    Zears Guest

    Well, i'm not asking to be her boyfriend, i don't want to have anything serious with her i just now feel i should have taken advantage of her and not just fuck around (but i had feelings for her) i am asking her just to see if i can get her to be that girl you just said, if not i'm just going to leave her completely and go on with my life.
  7. lively_girl

    lively_girl Member

    I'm not sure she would even take you up on your offer.
    You already had a chance to be her friend with benefits. How can she know that your old feelings won't resurface and you won't get intense again? The answer is she can't. Your history poses a bit of a risk for future drama.

    If she already has satisfying sex on a regular basis she might be with you once and decide she likes "the ugly guy" better after all. Perhaps she would call you again if the other guy was unavailable at the moment. Are you ok with that?
    If she has more than friends with benefits arrangement with the guy, than you don't have a chance anyway.

  8. No Zears. Don't give her that, keep that for a girl who can really appreciate you, and give you the attention and affection you really want.

    If you happen to get her pregnant, or get something icky from her, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

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