I could never have friends over because my mother was embarrassed that we were three people (my mom, sister, and myself, and then later on, my nephew) living in a one bedroom apartment. I was always comfortable, and couldn't complain much. I always thought, if I had a friend who judged me for that, then they can go fuck themselves. When my mom got divorced, she never dated again. I always hoped she would have because she was always so grumpy and unhappy. I even forced her to actually use her facebook and reconnect with her old friends from college. It took her months to message her best friend back. And we were always close. Even though she had a habit of projecting her awkwardness and self consciousness onto me, which of course made me paranoid of what people might think about me. I'm into strange music, movies, etc. I don't dress like other girls (don't even own jeans) and I've come to like who I am. But somehow, when I would talk to her she'd always bring back a feeling of that awkwardness. But now, I moved out and am getting married next year. And she's even more awkward than ever, but it's not just towards other people. It's with me now. She doesn't call me ever. She tells my sister to call me and ask me things and see how I am. She leaves very awkward (very overused word in this thread, but it's the best word to describe her) comments on my statuses and pictures on facebook. It feels kind of forced. I'm just sad that me moving away had to destroy our relationship. It's not a fragment of what it used to be. She made me very self conscious (it lessened as I got older and more responsible), but I still love her and I miss the conversations we used to have. She'd actually talk to me like I was an adult, which I'm missing out on here because my fiance's family sees him as if he were still a child. And by association, they do the same to me. It's kind of fucked up seeing as they really don't know me or what I've been through or done in my life. I'm tired of being condescended to. I wish my mom was a bigger part of my life. I'm far from my hometown, and way too close to where his tens of family members live. I see too much of people I don't really care for all that much, and too far from the people I actually do want to be around. I miss my nephew, and my sister too. If any of you know me, you know I had an odd relationship with my sister. We hated each other throughout our childhood, and in my teens we bonded over drugs. But that was rocky because she'd steal from anyone, even me. But now that she's clean, we have a better relationship than ever. But now I don't see her. I wish it were cheaper to live in South Fl, because my fiance doesn't like how his family treats him either and I'm sure he'd move back to Hollywood with me if we were financially able.