i was cheated on...by the one i want to spend my life with

sigh. so... I've never felt like i've met someone who i want to be with forever... this is it.. i love him and adore him and he's alwys been so real and brilliant.
So i rang him the other night to 'confess' that i had been flirting with this other guy... i'm really far away from him, as im at university, and hes the other side of england working in a dogs kennel. but he's just the most mazing person, and i always want to be with him, forever, you know?!
So in my confession, he took it so well after all, i hadnt done anything, i was drunk and being a fool. but then he told me, abiout how a few months ago, he kissed this woman at a party.. and he told me abot her at the time, how she was really after him but he told her he wasnt interested, and then now i find out he had kissed her.
im just shattered, i cant believe it, i really cant.
im so confused and angry... but this is what he told me... that he was very drunk, and, he kissed her for a couple of seconds before feeling too wired, and then he told her about me. and she went off with someone esle.
i do believe him on this.
then we had a longgggg talk on the phone, and he told me some things, how he felt i used him for money...but that he still loved me and wanted us to be together.. i told him, i couldnt handle it and i didnt want to see him ever gain.. but then i changed my mind... but before this he told me, it wasnt so bad becuase it would be good not to be with someone becuase he could get his driving done and sort some things out.
but i just cant imagine not being with him. i really want to have his children and be with him forever.
i also want to be free and do my own thing, but at the same time i want him more than anything and i just feel so betrayed and hurt.
he's asked me to marry him and that he wants us to be old together...
but really.. what amm i supposed to think now?...??
please tell me what a person is 'saying' when they go and kiss another person???
what was he meaning by doing this?
that he wanted to break away from me?
he says all the right things, that he loves me and would never do it again, that he was drunk and it was horrible becuase it felt so wired, he said it felt like a shock, becuase it wasnt me...things likethis.
what should i do?, what would you do?
please help, im so angry and confused and hurt.
what about that syaing.. once a cheater..always a cheater...??
can i trust someon whos on the one hand askng me to marry him, on the other ..lying about having kissed someone else?

im so shocked and hurt. i had so many dreams for us. part of me wants to forgive him so badly.. but another part feels like i can t ever trust him again.

please help

peace xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

omg, he asked you to marry him, love you. and even told you he kissed someone... if it was somethign bigger, he wouldnt say a thing. but he loves you trusts you, tells u secrets. And so what he kissed? havnt u kissed anyone while u were drunk ? you can kiss hundred peopel but love only one. Time passes injuries heeal and everythign becomes even better. dont mess this up, if u wanna be with him, be !

 

it was just a kiss, and other circumstances might have been involved in the kiss, if he was drunk maybe he was just horny, or the chick made a move on him...
i don't think a kiss is the end all of a relationship
you flirting with another guy is just as bad..
in the end it's up to you and him to work together to make the relationship work
~good luck

 

yeah, i love this forum becuase poeple are so straight with their views, its really refreshing.
im so glad that these responses are positive. you're both right, i will get over it, and it was just a drunken kiss, and it is just as bad if i flirt with someon else. its the same kind of thing.
peace.
it's just such a horrible feeling.

 

THAN K YOU!! i forgot to say! thank you!

 

you welcome silly girl ))))

 

ya kno..if ya dont wanna be flirtin & kissin other ppl bein lil less drunk when ya go out might help..lol
i've had girls just plop down in my lap and start kissin me b4 i kno wassup...he told u bout it didnt he...he prolly didnt tell u right away cause didnt want u to feel like u do now..and maybe as bad as he did since..

 

yeah. i am over it. i just have a big jealous possesive streak. and being less skulled could help, you;'re right!

 

It was only one drunken kiss. If this is the man you love and want to spend your life with, then you should be able to look past it. Especially if he told you how much he loves you and how he wants to marry you and grow old with you.

 

yes.. im no angel either. i just never want it to happen again. that would be desroying

 

"So please remember this,
A kiss is just a kiss....."

He gets drunk, and only gives her a kiss, tells you about it, and you're mad at him? Look, (Censored), it coulda been lots worse. You either trust him (better and worst) or find another.

"The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by."

 

thanks for your advice but im nobody's 'luv'

this is what concerns me, that the attitude of accepting this is one where i am practically asking to be patronised in the future.

 

Don't worry, I have done it myself, 8 months ago, without my love, in other town and there was a boy who was kissing me like... 30 sec, you know... And than I told him I have boyfriend. I told my boy the same night, there was crying & stuff. and now I can see how nonimportant this was.

 

Watch out for double standards my dear, the man made a mistake, he was drunk and he stopped the kiss. You were flirting with someone else!!! What is the difference????

If he is important enough to you, you must put this behind you both and move forward!

 

OK,OK! Sorry to break into your zone with our old Irish form of address. Correction made in previous post. You better change "my dear" too, MP, before the chief of the familiarity police gets to you. However Keramptha, your plight might just harken back to your zoned attitude. Just a thought........

 

Find the origins of the pain you feel when one "Cheats" on you... Define cheating... and then define the words that you used to define cheating... and then define those words... and never be satisified with anything abstract.

To have expectations of others for ONE's own happiness is walking a path of dissapointment.



iloveyou

 

ROFLA @ Familiarity Police - that's a good one Fastswitch!!! I actually thought I might get picked out for it when I read the reasponse to your 'luv' which was completely unnecessary I thought! l like being called LUV, shows some care...

*just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, ya know!!!

 

Thanks, luv - you're o so versed in the MP world; a grand place to ceter self! Isn't it a wonder talkin' like this: north to south (you are way south!), east to west? Many miles.

 

I personally would never kiss another woman, behind my girlfriend's back. Yea, kissing is not actually SEX, per se, but it can lead to sex. Where do you draw the line? That's just me though, and everyone's different. If you two love each other, then you should try and work it out, together.

 

Hangon...I have to ask...

From your original post it doesn't sound like you were actually IN a "relationship" when he kissed this woman. More that you had feelings for each other but were far away and not an official "relationship".

IF (if because i don't know) this IS the case...then what's the problem? You don't OWN him! You might have to control your possessive streak if u want this thing to work!