You guys must think my boyfriend and i are like the worst couple cuz im always posting stuff about him. im just looking for advice on how to make things better. -Anyways... weve been arguing a lot about every little thing. Anyone know a way to refrain from getting into arguements?
Sometimes you need to back down a little, maybe? If you start to sense that an argument is happening and you really want to avoid it, take a dive or something. Admit they were right once or twice, even if they weren't. An argument is like a battle, and admitting you were wrong is like surrender. Moreso tactical retreat than surrender, because you were running away. Anyways, I digress. The best ways to argue less is to either put up with them a little more and not start fights (not saying that you do, just in general), or to admit being wrong earlier on so the argument can't escalate. Hope that helped, god I'm high.
Now, no one ever has to argue...a discussion, lots of times, is all you need. It should never escalate into an arguement.... Of course, what is your definition of arguing?
To me, an argument is an angry debate i guess. but most times when either of us disagrees with another, we get angry and it turns into an argument lol.
To be real i kinda like to fight with my lady sometimes, cuz when were done fightin, we have the best sex, and everything is all gravy after that...
I like to debate, but this guy I've been talking to likes to scream and demean and be an ass about things, and since he started that, I've started backing away. I don't need it or want it. You need to set boundaries, I think. And if you cross those boundaries, you need to take a break if the situation gets out of hand.
I completley agree. I think it's important to work out what constitutes a fair fight or if you are going to fight at all.
arguments aren`t always avoidable, in that someone else can go on at you.. i`ve just walked away in those situations. even though it brings you shit to do so.
I think some people just push each others buttons. I've had girl friends that argued with / fought with constantly, they simply drove me nuts. I've also had others that I haven't fought with at all. I'm a few weeks shy of year together with my current girlfriend and we've had all of one arguement, which lasted about a half hour. We simply never have any issues with one another. We might argue a bit about different beliefs, but its never a situation where one of our feelings might get hurt. Some people work together well, some don't
OP, if you really want to stop arguing, BOTH of you need to understand that it is tearing you apart and agree to work at it. If it is a one-sided attempt, you'll end up feeling frustrated and lost b/c you're trying/changing, but your SO has not. If you want change, you must change first. If your efforts do not lead to less arguing, then the both of you must come to an understanding of what is causing your anger. Every person has needs which may be different than their SO. You two must prioritize these and talk/share what each other must do to make the other happier. GOOGLE "love busters" and you will learn what all couples need to learn...actions have their consequences. Finally, to begin your journey, both of you must eliminate ANGRY OUTBURSTS from your relationship. That will mean leaving the home to chill and avoid angry confrontation. Yelling and shouting will get you nowhere except to respect the other person less and say hurtful things that you cannot take back. Arguments are rarely about what you are arguing about. For example, sexual frustration will lead to arguing about studpid things that have nothing to do with sex. Gotta communicate what's bothering you/him. Good luck.
If you want no arguments you might as well lock yourself in a closet and throw away the key. All couples fight, and if they don't they just haven't been together long enough to fight. What is working for me though is ignoring the problem, for the meanwhile, as bad as that sounds. I think he knows more or less he fucks up after the argument and if I give him breathing room he figures it out and loves me dearer for not pointing out what is sooo obvious to me. I wait for him, and if I'm patient, regardless of the pain, he comes when he is ready. And if I want to talk then this is the perfect time. Not before. It's hard but it's life. We wouldn't expand each other's lives without devastating it somewhat.
In all relationships there are problems, I guess yours is arguing! I’m really sorry I have to say this, but arguing means that there is a communication problem between you and your boyfriend right? And if there is such as a problem, well you’re going to have to fix it quickly, or it’s not gonna work out! Try to talk with your boyfriend calmly, explain to him that you do not wanna argue about silly things anymore! But, sometimes it’s hard to convince narrow-minded people, those who never wanna admit they are wrong, and if you doesn’t agree with them they think you’r stupid and immature! It was like that with my best friend you know! She didn’t saw her own problems and wrong things and she was always there to tell me that I’m wrong! But I’ve had enough with that, and I just don’t wanna discuss anything with her, but what should I do, I really love her you know, so what I do with her is let it go, let her talk and say whatever she likes! But I have to admit that before I used to not accept criticism, but I get over this! I don’t know much but I hope this wil help you; just try ton avoid the stupid topics that makes you uncomfortable and so make you argue with each other! I’m sure you’r gonna make it work, don’t worry it’s gonna be just fine! Take car, and good luck! peace
I agree with DancerAnnie. In a relationship, at least a healthy one, you really need to have an open line of discussion. And if you can't step back from the situation and at least try to see your parenter's point of view for a moment, then it's going to be a really frusterating experience time and time again. You're not going to agree on every topic/subject, but if you're both serious about making things work, you need to learn to at least respect each other's differences in opinion. When I was in highshcool I thought if a girl didn't like the same music as me, then she was dumb. I would try to convince her my music was better, and if she didn't agree, then I figured -- "we're not compatible". What was really not "compatible" was my attitude as a whole.
I know from personal experience that sometimes is better to lower ur guard and just let the other person win even if you're 100% sure that they are wrong. Of course, don't do this all the time, you don't wanna be over submissive. If you find yourself arguing, don't let it escalate to the point of anger. Arguments are a part of life and they can be useful to know how other people feel. Just don't let it get outta control, otherwise little arguments can end up destroying ur relationship.
Ha ha me and my boyfriend are just like you and your boyfriend. We just got in an argument last night over something so stupid. He got immature and got on his myspace and deleted me off of everything and then started talking to a girl who he was going to cheat on me with a while ago because someone hacked into my myspace and wrote this guy a message saying that i want to talk to him and learn more about him and my boyfriend read it. But now were ok. Just talk to your boyfriend when you fight. Dont kick him out or anything like that because last night i did and it just made things worse, listen to what he has to say first then say what you have to say, and dont yell just talk in a normal voice and try not to over react or get all worked up over nothing. Things will get better.
Indeed. Listening and expressing in equilibrium can often minimize the intensity of the argument, and allow a space for understanding to emerge.
