I told my selfish boyfriend im not having sex again unless I cum, am I wrong?

So I've been seeing my new bf for a few months we now live together and he says he loves me and wants to start a family and stuff but there's a big problem i can't be ok with long term....

sex is always the same, and its always all about him.... he always wants me bent over and its always really hard, fast and over in 2 minutes. He also expects head every single time but dosn even touch me down there. I rarely ever get the chance to cum, if the sex lasts long enough for me to even get wet I have to finish myself off.

Also he's so detached he barely looks at me or caresses me, I don't feel like there's any emotional connection. Sometimes I just feel like a people to get him off like a sex doll or something and it's effecting my confidence sexually..

I told him im not happy multiple times, I told him I miss cumming and im sexually frustrated and he took it as an insult and got angry.
I told him all he had to do was pay attention to me, include me in the foreplay, slowdown, maby try a position that I liked... but he just ignored me.

Since then we had sex one time where he actually took his time and played attention to me and I came ( it was amazing) and then it went back to square one, all about him, hard, fast and dirty.. but tonight I had enough..

I gave him head for as long as he wanted as usual and then we we were about to have sex and he said "im gonna cum real soon and you better not get angry at me or im gonna get angry." So i stopped him and told him I didn't want to do it and he told me to finish him off and again I said no, if i don't get to cum then why should I care if you do. He just said are you serious and walked off and that was it really...

Am I right to stand me ground with this? I can't be happy longterm like this... and talking about it dosnt seem to help him see how I feel or where im coming from... should I stick to my guns with this? Does anyone have any suggestions?

 

You are right too stand your grounds. If your not enjoying the sex take a break and don't be pressured into sex.

 

You are not wrong. Don't stand for that crap. If it's like this now then that future he is talking about looks grim. Sex is always about the two people together. It's not about one person. That's not even enjoyable. Yes, sometimes a quicky is all good. Not everytime! The fact that he dosen't want to get you off if just an asshole move. I went two years with the "quick vanilla" sex never getting off. Maybe 8 times in those years and I finally took a stand. He is ruining how fun and pleasurable sex can be for you.

 

You are right. He must not be selfish into satisfy his urges only. If he is a considerate lover he should satisfy you first. You may have to talk to him frankly.

 

On one hand, it takes time for a man and woman to get good at sex, to discover each other's needs and limits. Over time, trust builds and those limits can be pushed or even eliminated. Also I'm not sure how old he is, but men take a long time to mentally mature. I wouldn't say I was fully mature until my early 30's. Until then, we're just ... boys with money. Yes, that long.

On the other hand, no matter his age or maturity level, the anger is very concerning. I feel it is only going to get worse.

There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Lots of good guys out there.

 

Good on you girl. Stand your ground. He sounds really selfish.

 

You have two options
Leave him if he doesn’t change or keep standing your ground. You have every right to enjoy your sex, not sacrifice your pleasure at his expense. One idea or question, you tried working with him and improve his knowledge and approach? I met a woman recently, her bf NEVER satisfied her.
Sad: she misses out and feels cheated
Happy: She knew there is better out there and she started looking elsewhere. My benefit, she met me twice behind his back. Then on her own without a bf

I think you are doing the right thing to wake him up and get him out of his selfish ways

 

Run.

 

I'm with the Wiz. Run. And change the locks. Life is too short for bad sex. Any gentleman knows that you should be cumming first.....

 

A few months in and he’s not trying to impress you is a bad sign. Tell him you’re bringing someone over to get you off and he can watch and learn.

 

Not wrong at all. I think my wife dumped one of her fwb's in college because he never thought it was important if she had an orgasm.

 

There are exceptions, by nature and not by choice.
If I don’t get played with and orgasm soon when the sex starts I may be unable to keep an erection and achieve orgasm.
But the redeeming part is that any fwb I was with know they are getting a lot more than they give and have no issue taking care of my desires.
Just that I don’t like it especially if we have sex soon instead of a nice amount of play before.
It feels selfish to ask for a BJ or a HJ at the beginning.

 

She always cums first, and more than once. That's when she's ready for me to enter her and make her cum even more before I take my pleasure.

 

..

 

For someone you've only been seeing a few months I wouldnt stick with it. If he's just not doing it for you or he doesnt seem to care then cut your losses and move on. If it meant marrying him and not cumming anymore for the rest of your life could you really go with that?
If he really cared he would do things for you to make sure you orgasmed as well.

 

In my first long term relationship I used to cum quickly and she used to take ages to reach orgasm, so what we did was start by doing foreplay for a while before only on her until she got close and then I would join in so we could climax together, then over time I joined in sooner and sooner until I could last a decent amount of time.

But me personally, I love watching a girl in pleasure get closer and closer and then finally explode in orgasm, so I love her finishing first coz watching that is what makes me cum myself I find it that hot... but I guess everyones different in what turns them on and such.
An orgasm is what brings the people having sex together so that they can share in even more and longer lasting pleasure in waves together over and over. As oppose to one person having a brief release themselves which leaves as quick as it came about. So maybe explain something like that to him and see if he puts the effort in more than just once, if he doesnt then forget him and find someone who deserves to share in your most intimate moments that you have to show another person, because they are so so so beautiful and you deserve to have as many as you wish to and you shouldnt ever have to go without. You did the right thing and should definately stick to your guns

 

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It's not even about women being selfish. Most men need a good amount of time to recuperate after there first bust. Some of us ladies can continue on for several... so it makes sense! Who doesn't love orgasm after orgasm

 

Your summation of most men is just a little off. Most men are a little lazy. I've never and I mean never got up after sex, with a woman wanting more. I may have torn my frenulum, been charged a little, my back stiff, but I've always finished them completely, and with a naughty smile.

 

Men, a good amount of time, wha, wha, what? By the time he's got you past your second blast, he should be hard as Chinese Arithmetic. Do you know how hard x twentynine is?

 

Well mine lost his drive so I've always been wanting more for years now... getting back there slowly. He's not lazy but doesn't have the endurance to keep up with me.