I thought I was gay for so long..... wondering if anyone can relate

Well I thought I was gay for so long... Like 12 years now. I remember looking back even before that and realizing the things I did at a very young age gave it away...

Well now I don't think I'm gay. I'm not really one to classify myself but it's much easier to talk about this subject if I do... I say I like people for who they are despite their gender, but I never actually had any attraction towards guys... and now I do. Sooo confused. I don't know how to "like" a guy.
Has anyone else gone through this? I'm afraid to get involved with a guy then have to break it off because I realize I did only like girls...

I hope it's okay posting this here

 

jesus yes do i know what you mean! i came out when i was 14... never once had an attraction to a guy. ever. then last year i met someone on the internet and got to be friends with him, and then suddenly i realized i had fallen in love with him somehow. it freaked me out to say the least, and it was hard for me to understand how or why, and it was really freaky trying to start a relationship with a guy, and being so used to women.

well, we're still together... we're polyamorous so i still get to be with women, which is great! but the thing that has made this easier in general is realizing that i fell in love with a soul not a body. because that's what we all do when we fall in love. and the other stuff... the plumbing so to speak... just doesn't matter when you find that connection.

i hope some of that ramble helped!

 

yes, i totally know what you mean! halfway through my junior year of high school, i became convinced that i was gay, up to the point of "coming out" to one of my friends... only to realize that i most definitely wasn't.
its so weird!

 

i thought i was a lesbian for abit longer then a year, well i wasnt sure, lesbian/bi. but i never thought i would want to be with a man again.

ha.

i now have a wonderful man in my life, we are both bi but faithful to each other.

wish me luck

sexuality is fluid, i am attracted to the person not the gender.

just enjoy life and do what feels good!

blessings
xxx
xx
x

 

Awesome concept.

 

Originally Posted by spirit of the night

sexuality is fluid, i am attracted to the person not the gender.

just enjoy life and do what feels good!

I couldnt agree more!

 

I actually had the opposite happen: I was straight for 13 years, was boy-crazy and sex-obsessed even at the age of 5, and rarely thought about gays. When I found out what "gay" was, I was repulsed and never revisited the thought.

Well, one morning when I was 13, I literally woke up having sexual thoughts about this girl I knew. It didn't scare me, but I didn't tell anyone either. The more I looked at straight porn, the more I knew I was lez, as most of it repulsed me. Guys in my town were disgusting dogs with no respect for women, and straight girls were all whores. All my sexual and romantic thoughts centered around females from the age of 13 forward, something I never, ever could've imagined just a year before. What once turned me on and fascinated me now repulsed me and vice versa. I really don't know what happened, it was like a switch was flipped in my brain.

I haven't had any sexual feelings or relationships with guys since then and can't force myself to be turned on by the male anatomy. Or brain for that matter. Some say sexuality is fluid, that it's not the body, but the soul a person is attracted to, but some of us don't have the option of being with either a guy or girl: we're attracted to one or the other only and can't conjure feelings for someone of either sex. I fall into that category for sure. It still baffles me how my preference flipped literally overnight, but I guess that's the human brain for ya...

 

I thought I was bisexual for about 3 years, but then finally realized I just wanted to be with women. Since then I've had time periods where I've been curious about men but never strong enough to call it attraction.

 

I feel you. I came out as gay, and it was terrible and my parents got upset and yelled and attacked me, kicked me out and all that stuff so I feel like if I bring a guy home now, they would be like "Ha Ha, told you so. Told you it's just a phase." I think people accept you being gay a lot easier than bi. Bi is associated with being a slut and confused. But I like both, so I guess I'm not going to define it anymore? maybe that will make it easier

 

i thought I was straight for most of my life then in the past couple years I thought I was bi....and now i just think i'm a lesbian........ i am so confused haha

 

Sorry, I know only the girls are supposed to post in this forum, so delete this if you want, but felt compelled to offer my view.

It's just that I've seen a certain pattern too many times not to have a hint of whats going on.

That pattern being the girl that is gay/bi early on gets to somewhere in her 20s, all of a sudden starts up something with a guy, has babies, the required number of babies come out, then she's back to gay or bi.

So may I suggest the switch to a guy around that time may have a lot more to do with subconscious maternal instincts / urges, than some of you might think.

Also consider there may be a lot more M/F couples out there where one or both are gay or bi than we all think, just that it looks hetero from the outside cos with kids they have to be a lot more discrete about it

 

well i'm with a brilliant guy atm, but i am still attracted to women more than guys.

ah life and its ways...

 

i think i agree with vanilla gorilla a bit. i mean, i've been a lesbian since before i learned what one was. even when i was in kindergarten or the younger grades and little kids were walking around with their "boyfriends" and "girlfriends" i was wondering why there weren't two girls together, because thats what i wanted.

if i am to label myself, i am a lesbian. i do love women, with little or no similar feelings towards men. i can't help it, it's part of who i am. and now i'm feeling attracted to men, but its really just a by-product of my wanting a child. we do grow up with the whole man+woman=child=family equation, rather than man+man+adoption agency=child=family, or woman+woman+sperm/adoption agency=child=family. i've even been dreaming about men on occasion, fantasizing. but i dont feel that same bond or attraction for them, the same fulfillment, that i get from loving a woman. thats my difference.

i'm getting kind of side tracked here. my hope for everyone (including myself) is that you follow your heart and do right by yourself, regardless of the gender of who ever you end up with. and what i'm saying about myself, the perspective i'm offering, is that there may be more to your mental dialogue than gay or straight or bi. there are reasons for whatever you feel or think and its important for you to figure them out as best you can so that you can do right by your heart and your partner(s).

 

I'm totally on board with the sexuality and gender being fluid. The funny thing is, I've been with a girl who was more "masculine" than men I've been with so the line blurrs. I can totally relate... you get so comfortable with women and heir intuition (or whatever it is that you experienced) and the penis...(for me at least) becomes a bit of a deal breaker. I love love and sex and I like men and women but I kind of like the blank slate of a woman... so you have to readjust when you're with a guy....

yeah mine was a ramble too...

xxxx

 

I'm having a hard time with this, as well...me and this guy have started dating, and it's long distance which makes it all that much easier, but i have always felt that i feel most strongly for girls, which makes it all that much harder. See, i've never had great relationships with people in general, and i'm wondering why that is, but as someone who's 18 and thinking she might be only into girls, i'm hurting to know that the things i want so badly on a mental level will never sit right with me inside, that maybe i've come to be conditioned, or that i'm afraid to step outside of a box that i was raised inside of. the box that kept me from exposing myself outside of my mind. that kept me from letting myself see girls and guys as equally attractive beings, that let me see that men are even worth their weight. being raised by people who see men only as objects or as hurtful pigs didn't help, either. i just want to heal old wounds and work on it from there. is it wrong to put my relationships as a whole before my sexual relationships?

 

I remember having crushes on boys as early as pre-school, but I always had crushes on my best girlfriends too, I think anyway. I always wonder what it would be like to be with a woman, but my fantasies only involve me being kissed etc., not doing any of the kissing. I like the idea of being seduced by a woman, and I think the female body is prettier than the male anatomy...but I've only been with men. I suppose I am confused too.

 

boxo frain - I'd say if you feel like you want to be with a guy and this feeling doesn't go away then try it out, maybe tell him how you feel about women, and then if it doesn't work out with the guy it won't be such a big suprise or shock. Go with what feels right for you.

MysteriousNight - this is what I've gone through while in a relationship for 5 + years with a lovely man. Now I identify as lesbian rather than bisexual as I feel that fits more with how I feel inside, what I want, and how I see my future.

But I do think sexuality is fluid and in reality there are lots of grey areas when defining lesbian & gay/bi/straight.

 

i can agree with many of the previous posters. I definitely feel like I identify more and more as just a lesbian but I don't exclude that I might meet some guy in my future life that I could be attracted to. I'm definitely attracted to the soul and personality of the person.

hippy- i laughed and agreed with your comment about dating more masculine women than men i've dated!

 

man, saame
like, i wasn't repulsed by it or anything, it just wasn't me, right.
and i was talking to one of my friends who was bi about it, and the next day i woke up and i knew i was bi.
& right after that i started realizing i was gay.
& now i'm completely happy with it

 

you can be attracted to both genders but only want to 'love' one gender