I think porn temporarily changed my sexual orientation. Will it go back to normal?

First of all, I am a 20 year old lesbian. It took me forever to admit it to myself since i grew up in a "Gays to hell" household. I have a girlfriend that I am in love with, emotionally, physically, and sexually. We've been together almost 2 years.

The past 6-8 months out of boredom, I began porn watching. Always occasionally watched porn, but watched alot and often the past 6-8 months. It got to the point of thinking disgusting acts were hot (incest, rape, gangbang, cheating) which is opposite of real life. I began to of course masturbate while watching porn. By the way, I am/was fully satisfied by my girl. But when I was at home (we don't live together) I would watch porn for fun or out of boredom.

If I couldn't study, i'd watch porn to "relive" my stress and get it out of my system. When i was bored, I'd watch it. No one home, I'd watch it.

I guess i didn't realize I was actually getting HOOKED on it. I watch straight porn because lesbian porn bores me because i hate to see girls who act like lesbians who are really straight try and fake their lesbian acts. Therefore, I love straight porn and picturing myself as a guy in the porn though im a femme lesbian. Never pictured myself as the girl in porn.

Anyway, within the past 2 weeks, i told my girlfriend I wanted to quit watching porn. I just realized i didn't want to associate myself with any of the nasty (and more hardcore) things I had begun watching. So i quit, cold-turkey. Next few days, I realized i was looking at guys sexually.
I mean every guy, as in the most ugly repulsing guy you can imagine and still thinking of him sexually.

It scared me since although i can find a guy "hot" i never want to be with him that way. But this was a whole new thinking for me.

And no, this is not my "unconscious" telling me something, seeing as how i spent 20 years trying to "make" myself straight and just recently came to terms with the fact that i love women as relationships, and guys as friends.

I just noticed these "straight" thoughts flourished after stopping porn.
What I think is that my mind saw naked males always having sex by me watching porn, so now that my brain isn't seeing it/getting the pleasure it gets from masturbation while watching porn, it automatically is associating every guy i see with porn which means sex.

Does this make sense to anyone else?

I'm afraid because this has caused me to be emotionless to everything lately.
Meaning my girlfriend, school, life, etc.

It's like I am having withdrawl symptoms of a real addiction such as drug addiction.
Never thought porn addiction had such symptoms, but then again, i never thought i was "addicted" but am now having different thoughts.

I've been experiencing: the straight thoughts, highs and lows, irritability, emotionless, etc. since stopping watching porn/masturbating.

Do you think once I finally get over my body not being exposed to porn that these thoughts will stop of associating every guy with sex when I know that's not what I want/how I am wired?

By the way, when i think of guys when i see them, its just sexually, and it's mainly their penis.
Kind of just like in porn.

This is so annoying.
Do you think stopping porn will help this go away for good? It's been about a week and a half or so.
Do you think these are the symptoms im experiencing... withdrawals?

Anyone have any tips of how to get over this addiction quicker?
Or supporting advice?

 

you might be straight or bisexual. I dont know. Try looking porn withdraw or porn addiction on google.

 

It'll pass. By the way, there is real lesbian porn out there (lesbian porn for lesbians). Look into it. Check out "Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels".

 

Robohobo, I am positive I am not straight. Never once wanted to be with a guy/felt jealous over a guy/missed a guy in my life as anything more than a friend, so I know it isn't that. None of these thoughts started until I stopped porn, so I definitely don't think it's a coincidence.

And jamgrasspham, i know there's a lot of good lesbian porn out there, but to be honest, when i'd go on ordinary porn sites, i was too lazy to sit there and click videos when i could click on others and find a perfectly good one to "get me off" lol.
I know what you mean though.

I'm laying off porn as well as masturbation, cause i heard that strengthens the porn thing.

I heard it's something about messing up my dopamine levels, and in order to get them back into their right order, i need to lay off sexual things that end up in orgasm or thinking of orgasm until i level out.

 

Stop trying to quantify being strait, it's not "wanting X from someone with a penis" or whatever, or being jealous of X about someone and their penis, etc.....

We're all somewhere on a line with gay on one end and strait on the other. You can't get rid of all of one or the other. You can be physically attracted to some select people of BOTH sexes, there's no rule you have to like all of them, or none of them, or anything like that.

Stop being silly. You're in porn withdrawl.

 

^i agree and very likely you are still discovering your sexuality. you're 20 years old.

like RooRshack stated - sexuality is not black and white, there are many shades of being gay and many shades of being straight, everybody with their own unique quirks

it seems like you are trying to shut out some of your sexuality and be JUST GAY AND TOTALLY 100% GAY

i know people that ARE gay but have heterosexual affairs and shit. people are weird.

maybe you're gay and just like heterosexual porn...

if it causes you problems then don't watch it. as with most things, it takes time to remove from your brain

 

You’re probably bisexual and now that you’re getting older I sure you’d like to start a family and do that you need dick.



Hotwater

 

Pfft....AI or a good old fashioned turkey baster.

 

Most stupid thing I've ever read, lol.
I can't stand children, so nope.

 

sexuality is very fluid . One's feelings or thoughts can change back and forth or just flow in different directions. That is one of the problems with labels. We can call ourselves one thing. Believe that is what we are 100 percent are. Only to find our thoughts or feelings change in one direction or another. I have a good number of friends who are in same sex relationships who experience the same thing that you are going thru. It is not weird or strange. It is just a part of the human sexuality that is part of all of us. Some deny it, others knowledge it.

 

I think that the norm now allows for that. We frequently hear now the term 'fluid' as @nudistguyny mentions above. That is a term that people will latch onto and that others will attack. Perhaps further examination is in order.

When I hear the term now, fluid, I'm reminded that water takes the shape of it's bottle as it were. Square, circular, rectangular, etc. Because gender, or in this case sexuality, is less tangible than something more universally understood like water there's more ambiguity when we call it "fluid".

What do we mean?

Sociologically speaking, I find the term to mean the opposite of static - it's moving, flowing... ever changing to meet the needs of the individual*. That last part is key.

The needs of the individual change, and their sexuality is adaptive.

That being said, it's a little more common to see someone adhere to a more rooted-in-social-norms perspective on their sexuality - they pick one and stick with it until it no longer suits their needs.



But more loosely, I think that in academic language because sexuality is defined by social constructs, fluidity is the term we are using to indicate that its adaptive.