I think I'm a lesbian, but I'm not sure...

So I'm brand new here. I'm a 20 year old female. I've been looking everywhere for community outside of my usual circle of people that felt welcoming. I've come across this place a few times in the past, but never thought much of it till now.

Anyways, I'm terribly confused right now. I had a recent realization that I might be a lesbian, but I'm not sure. I can definitely say I'm sexually attracted to women. When it comes to things like porn I can't watch it if it has a man in it. I'm just not physically aroused watching real men.

I'm not fully sure of my sexuality anymore. I nearly always identified myself as "straight"...or tried to at least. I've convinced myself of this fact for as long as I can remember. I've dabbled in being "bisexual" and even dated a girl once, but I was 16 at the time, and wasn't sure if what I was feeling was right.

I've been dating guys since then. Though, lately I've noticed more and more that every relationship I get into feels "wrong" no matter what. The idea of sex with a man isn't appealing to me. I've been there, and I get NO sensation from heterosexual sex at all. It's simply uncomfortable. I find myself giggling at the sight of naked men. I feel like they look totally silly, not attractive in the least. I've felt like that for as long as I can remember.

In the past couple of months I've been in two relationships, both with men. Both times it just felt totally wrong. I've realized now though that I've ALWAYS felt that way. I've always considered myself "straight." I mean, I can appreciate a good looking guy and can swoon over that pretty boy with the good looking face and pretty eyes, but thats where it stops. I don't picture myself WITH them or sexually attracted to them. I don't feel any desire to be with these men physically.

I really do not have any desire at all for penetrative sex. I don't like the way it feels. I suppose it's a possibility just haven't been with the "right" guy but I mean, every time has felt the same to me. Felt just uncomfortable, just pressure...no pleasure. I get more fun on my own if you know what I mean.

So that said, I still find some men attractive, but I think it's more of the appreciation of a pretty human being than a sexual thing. Is it possible to be a lesbian and still swoon over a good looking guy?

As far as women goes, they're beautiful in my eyes. I can easily watch an explicit video with a pretty girl and be aroused by it. If theres a guy in it it just...ruins it. Men look weird naked, just...I dunno it almost makes me laugh. I always thought I got aroused by women because it was easier to understand the pleasure of a woman and empathize, than with that of a man. But now I'm wondering if maybe I've always just convinced myself this was the case.

I've always believed I was straight, but now I really don't know. Help. :[

 

You're not going to find the answers to your sexuality on the internet, everybody is going to give you somewhat of a different response to your 'problem'.

What your problem is, you see, is that you are trying to label yourself. Stop it! Doing this is only going to confuse you even more. Who cares who you're attracted to, when and under what circumstances. Go with the flow and do what feels good within reason.

There is no problem being with being lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, straight, who should honestly give a flying fuck. Attempting to label yourself is what is causing your issue right now and the only real way to solve your problem is to knock it off. Only like women in porn? Only watch lesbo porn. Only feeling men tonight? Fuck a man. Only feel like eating pussy today? Then only eat pussy today.

The answer really is all that simple

 

I am 35 years old, mostly attracted to men, but I hate labels. I used to gladly wear the gay label but I don't really anymore. I'm just me, and you're just you. Don't worry about whether you are gay, straight, bi, whatever. Just be yourself, be honest with yourself, and most of all love yourself for who you are. You're fabulous! Just enjoy the crazy ride, man!

Peace

 

The previous posters have said it all, and they're right.

Labels are destructive. Labelling yourself and then trying to conform to the label doesn't work. We are all individuals. Be yourself.

*Big hug*

Becky

 

This is good advice coming from those posting here before me. But it looks like what you are actually looking for is support from a social group/system of sorts through a complicated process of the mind and heart. Am I right?
I'm sure you know "labels are bad" but what you really want is someone to hold your hand during this upheaval you have found yourself in. You are hoping to find here, people who will listen AND relate to what you're going through as well as even share wisdom gained from like experience, no?
If so, then you are definitely not alone here. That is the sole reason I am here tonight. I'm going through a time of higher sexual awareness and I could really use someone to listen and share with. I still like guys but have come to the point where I cannot and will not deny my attraction and longing for a woman any longer. Now I feel like I'm on a sexual renaissance of sorts. I just want to experience the freedom that comes from just being me and relating to others like me. Anyways.. hope you really find what you are looking for whether it be what I described or something a little different. BEST OF LUCK TO YOU in your sexual journey to becoming more like yourself. Message me if you want someone to talk to about this. - Bacie

 

I think I am as you .. I am very confused since a few months..
I am a student and I am in love with a girl from my classroom ..
She doesn't know . I had had several bf , I had sex with some of them , everything was okay,
I am an opened minded girl, however since 8 months I am single,
I had sex with a guy I meet in a disco bar , then 4 days later he told me he's in love with me.
So I stopped any intime relationship with him.
I feel confused, I fell in love with a girl, I am scared to tell her this.
Last months I only feel like eating pussy .. ( never did it before

 

I agree with what has been said before. Don't worry about labels just be you. Go with the flow and enjoy life without labels.

 

reading this is really helped a lot.
thank you very much for opening up about this and for everyone who answered.
i am going through the same thing right now.

again thank you.

 

If most of you are against labels then what do you feel when people keep using them in gender and sexual theories?