I think I finally understand what I want in a woman

Recently, I was a victim of the typical mixed-signals scenario. I hooked up with a bartender one night. I didn't take her to my room or anything, but we kissed and were very affectionate to each other.

The next day she was transformed, and she wouldn't pick up my phone calls despite it being her idea that I call.

I realize what went wrong: I confused her affection with human interest. And I was overtly sincere about my feelings toward her, even though I put no pressure on her to be exclusively mine.

I used to think that I just wanted sex and was just maladjusted to the passive-aggressive games men have to play in order to "get lucky" in this society.

Now I understand that using some passive-aggressive formula and getting laid for one night would ultimately be unfulfilling. What I want instead is a lover who's also a friend. But not in a possessive relationship... I do not want anyone owning my body.

Now wish me luck finding that...

P.S. I know at least two female posters here in the forum who are looking for the same thing. Unfortunately, friendship usually comes by only in a commited relationship. And then the commitment, in turn, kills the friendship. Tough luck.

 

I really admired gentlemen who had that kind of idea and that's what Im looking for... I wish you can find someone like that and also mine...

 

Thanks for the words of encouragement.