i really never got over a good friends death

well,
it was the 8th of Feb, 2002. i was at a local mobile station getting gas and my buddy steve pulled up and said "you know what jeremy, i havent hung out with you in a long time" i said " yeah dude its been an age". well, he envited me to a party at his house that night. i had just turned 21 the previous summer.
i went to the party with another good friend. we were hanging out drinking brews and whatnot. then, all of a sudden, my buds steve,sean and tweek are missing. i figure they went out and got supplies etc... turns out a bar down the road about 2 miles away had served a stupid 20 year old all night.
well my sisters pal shows up and says thier was an accident and one of them didnt make it. the 20 year old slammed his 87 chevy pickup into my bud steves vehical faced out of his mind. the engine went though the dashboard and crushed my buddy steve to death. when i finally got home at 3am i had to tell the parents and my brother that there was a horrible car accident and steve didnt make it.
my dad had to drive up to my buddy seans house and tell his parents(good friends of my parents) that steve was dead and that sean was in the hospital.
the thing that gets me the most is steve was just beggining his life,
he was in college and it just killed me inside.

 

I feel for you. I have lost several people through drugs, car accidents, suicide etc. It´s something that you will likely never get over, the memory may fade, but it probably won´t completly go away. Would you want it to really?


I have some creepy images in my mind that may never go, even if I wanted them to. One of a guy I knew dropping a beer and having it shatter on the floor at a party, his friends kind of pushing him out the door....it ended up being his last party and beer ever as he overdosed and died a few hours later. I know it´s a bit different when someone ODs or kills themself, but it still haunts me.

I lost a friend to cancer as well, he died at age 28. He had no health insurance so mo one would treat him for 3 months, until he found a doctor kind enough to help. He went into remission, then it came back and took him.

In a way these friends who pass on give us strength, at least to me their memory is power.

 

oh i know this,

it just pisses me off, the man was genius on the drums. the freaky thing is i dont even remember what his voice sounded like.

 

This is kind of creepy, but once this girl I knew died, suicide, I had a voice mail message from her maybe a week or 2 before it happened...well I never erased it, couldn´t bring myself to do it. I listened to it over and over again. Finally I moved away from the city and I had let go of it.

My friend who died of cancer was a brilliant and unique guitarist, when I was at his wake at his house I rubbed my hands across the strings of his guitar, we both had the same kind.....I guess I was trying to get some of his good molecules on me, the kind that come out when a great musician is playing and doing something they love.

I understand your anger, I really do.

 

Im so sorry to hear the loss of your friend. I hate drunk drivers! I lost my my brother that way

also............

*Long Story short* My boyfriends father who also couldn't control his left side of his body and is an alcoholic-- Would get up at 9 a.m and go straight to the bar EVERYDAY and come home waisted- (not just drunk but falling out of his car.. shitting on the floor drunk!) And what pissed me off the most about this is that his family just stood by and watched. For over 20 years!!!!!! His wife even let him take the children to and from school completly waisted. It took 3 D.U.I., 5 Car accidents, driving on the wrong side of the road with 5 year olds in the car, and is now getting the shit sued out of him and his family for hit and runs-- Till I got the balls to wait until he was at the bar and report him to the police..*blah blah blah* they busted him -- getting his car takin away and the loss of his lisence-- And now the whole family hates me because now he stays home all day and just bitches at the family-- but you know I just couldn't live with myself if he killed someone and I didn't do anything about it... I guess this was a long story--- sorry


Skyler

 

the death of my friend was enough to make me never drink and drive EVER again. yes i have drank and driven but i was 18-19 and i was dumb and i never
got in an accident which is fucking luck i tell you.

 

Last year my sister lost several friends. Two to drunk drivers, one of a od, and one of them was shot while he was sticking up for a friend in a fight. (http://www.digmo.com/obits/obit.php?ID=878). Most of these people were the kind you would comment on being, "the sweetest person I know", or, "always had a kind word to say". All of these kids were in their teens or early twenties, just starting their lives. Each of their deaths was due to the stupid decision someone else made that night (except for the od). A few years ago, a friend of mine died in accident at work. We'd just graduated from high school two years before, he finally got his own place, and to make matters worse, he had just gotten engaged.

It's true when they say the good die young...

 

i feel all of you... my good friend Deana died when she was 17. A friend of mine was holding her hand crossing a busy road in cairo and some mini-bus fucking hit her. They carried her dead body to the hospital. *starts crying*

 

death really sucks.. I know how you feel, my dad died in a car accident, a friend of mine died in one almost 2 years ago and last summer my brother lost his two best friends in one. I was so shocked, these poor kids were 16 and 17. The one kid was a mastermind with cars. He had a huge future ahead of him. Neither one of them drank or did drugs. They were going to the other kids house I guess and spun out of control and hit a tree. No one knew where they were for a day or two. The sad thing was that they think one of them lived for a little while but didn't make it long enough to be rescued. My brother was suppose to be in the car too but something happened and they dropped him off earlier or he didn't go...I can't remeber. thank god... anyway, one of the kid's mom(i hate her!) kept rubbing it in that he could have been their and kind of made it sound like he SHOULD have been there. Now my brother has this whole guilt trip thing going on. He hasn't left the house in months, quit school and sits around all day. I have this weird instinct sometimes about things, I knew they were dead the minute one of the kids parents called to see if her son was at our house. Its weird but sometimes I cry about it because I think, I knew these guys as little kids! I remeber how cute and sweet they were. I can't help but think about how their moms loved them and now will never get to hold their childern again. I better stop thinking about this before I get myself in a funk.

 

I wanted to add, do you ever have problems trying to not think about how he got cut up? I have this horrible problem that I'll think about what it was like for them to die, my dad smashed his head on a tree, my friend was crushed under a truck and those other two kids(unforetunetly someone told me this) were run into a tree but things like their glasses broke into their eyes... How it must have felt for the one kid to be living still and if he looked over and saw his friend dead. I know this is sick and distrubing but did you think about these kind of things too? Am I the only one?

 

no your not the only one,
i used to think about it alot, but now its just time to time.

 

I've had a few friends die since I've been in highschool. My best friend from Highschool died in 2002. We had grown apart since highschool, but still talked once in a while. She had gone missing for a few days, but then they searched the river in town and found her. She had gotten kicked out of a bar a few nights before they found her for being too drunk, but she kept sneaking back in, which I think is HILARIOUS, because she was such a party animal and was always doing sneaky things like that. Anyways, she tried to walk across the frozen river to the other side to go home, instead of taking the walking bridge, and she fell through the ice. She still had her glasses on when she was found, which to me, is funny, because she was always losing her glasses! She was so funny, we had so many good times together. I was really sad, and I still am, but I can look back on the crazy, hilarious times we had together and laugh. She used to always wear my shoes home by mistake, and she wore her purse around her neck instead of over her shoulder, and one time she lost her glasses and wore her mothers glasses, and the were those HUGE eighties glasses. I couldn't look at her without laughing, but she wore them in all seriousness. She was so funny!

 

oh, this kind of stuff makes me feel deeply sad. You know, I wonder if you might feel better if you volunteered some of your time to one of those people against drunk driving type organizations. I don't speed or drive drunk,but I know people that do; that's why I'm always worried when I'm driving. I have an idea maybe you can start a thread in this forum where people can share stories and pledge not to drive drunk that would be a meaningful thing to do in your friend's memory. As far as how you feel maybe you can talk to someone that can help. I mean I cried just reading the story. I wish people would try to be more considerate if not for themselves for others out on the road. I bet your friend is at peace. God bless him, and you. Hope you feel better.

 

My Cousin went to this party around the same time. One of his best friends (I can't remember her name) got completely shit faced. She wanted to drive home her friend home, and he tried to stop her, knowing how fucked up she was. He asked her where her keys were, and she told him in her jacket, which was upstairs on a bed. While he went upstairs to get and hide them, she left with her friend. Turns out the keys were in her jeans. 10 minutes later she drove her car off a bridge into the road below. He never forgave himself for checking her to see if the keys were on her. It REALLY fucked him up.