So me and my boyfriend have known each other since we were children and we did not start dating until I was a sophomore in college and he was a freshman. However, a year before in October 2019 we began talking. I explicitly asked him if he was seeing anyone or talking to anyone. Then February 2020 comes around he he says that it was hard to talk because I was away at college. I was kinda hurt, but I understood. Then August comes around and he asks me out, I said yes. However, I found out that in December 2019 he had sex with his ex, and in February 2020 he started talking to a girl in his high school. He said that she was not the reason he stopped talking to me, but I always tell him that it's a coincidence that he cut me off and started talking to the girl. And to make it worse I found out that he initiated that relationship and she was the one that ended it. And right when she ended it that's when started talking to me again. He was honest enough to tell me, and he gave me the password to his phone so I know that him and the girl don't talk anymore. But six months into this relationship and I'm still hurt by the situation. Should I leave the relationship or stay?
Impossible to say from such little information. Maybe it was a coincidence Does he know how you feel? Is he generally trustworthy or are "coincidences" like this common? Do you think you can get past it? Do the positives of being with him outweigh the negatives?
Going off from what you have written and I agree with the above poster ,that there is only little bit of information . Going off the dates he asked you out in August 2020 . So until that date you two were not an item and firmly in the friendzone. So he was seeing his Ex in December 2019 and that was prior to you both becoming an item . I dont see anything wrong with that in my eyes as he wasnt unfaithful to you as he wasnt going out with you at the time . Again the other girl he talked to in February was again some 6 months before he asked you out . I cant see that you have a problem here if the dates quoted are correct because IMO he was entitled to see these others as I saw others before meeting the girl who is now my wife . If you want this relationship to flourish ,then you need to put this behind you and accept that he hasnt done anything wrong . A tip I can give you is that good communication underpins all successful relationships and therefore if there is something that concerns you then talk to your partner about it instead of letting it fester. Good Luck
I was about to say something, but after this display of Sherlock Holmes logic, all I can do is agree.
No offense intended, and this is truly meant in kindness, but you're this insecure, perhaps you (and him) would be better off if you spent some time working on your own issues first, before bringing them to a relationship. In my experience, there's a direct inverse correlation between the longevity and satisfaction of a relationship and the number of porters required to carry all the emotional baggage that I bring to it.
Everyone is responsible for their own relationships. If you're uncomfortable with someone and if it takes more work than you want, take a step back and re-assess. Maybe you should change your extectstiins either singly or mutually. I have friends that went from acquaintance to friend to partner and back to part time friend and sometime coupling. We don't always appreciate everything that makes us who we are but we appreciate that we don't judge much either. Some of my closest friends are like that.
Its a bit hard to give relationship advice to strangers ......... (sometimes it does give you another perspective too so just take all advice with a grain of salt)........ anyway, be confident in yourself....... there has to be honesty in any relationship.
Trust your gut honesty is always the best way to go and if he’s being honest with you and all that and giving you passwords and his phone then give it a whirl but if your gut keeps nagging you way the pros and cons of your relationship
