i need to get babys out of my head

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by torz, Jan 20, 2005.

  1. torz

    torz Member

    so i'm feeling very broody, i have done for a month or two now, i know its only because of my friend (she gave birth this morning by the way, 12.45am, little girl named charlee ann louise 6 pound 2 ounce). even tho my body is saying yes & my head is saying do it, i think that my friend & her baby is whats making me really broody.

    i managed to get my BF to talk to me about it last night bout it, he said not yet, he wants to get his driving licence back, get the business up & running again & get better off financially before we start having kids. i understand what he's saying & even tho my bodys saying it wants a baby & my head is, deap down i dont think i do truley yet. i know its just my friend thats clouding my judgment.

    thing is its really getting me down now, all i can think of is babys, baby clothes, cots, prams. i'm having dreams about babys, dreaming i'm pregant. i'm having very vivid dreams where i'm pregnant & going through a whole range of emotions & going shopping for baby things, choosing names (even tho i already know what i want to name my kids), then when i wake up i'm gutted that its back to real life. i've woke up every morning & cryed for the past two weeks, the broodyness is getting so bad now i just burst into tears at work for no reason.

    i just want my life back, i want to live my own life first, i know i do, i know i'm only feeling this way because a lot of people i know are getting pregnant, & many carictors on soaps are getting pregnant & having babys, every where i seem to look there are children & babys.

    i just want my life back to how it was, i just want to be happy with my life the way it is. i have a friend over from canada (who i actually met on these forums), she's over on a two year programme, she's only been here 5 months so far, but i just want to go out & live it up with her while she is here, go to festivals, theam parks, partys, sight seeing etc, then when she goes home me & my BF have said we want to go back with her for a month or two. i just wana go out & have fun, i dont want my life to be clouded by this baby business right now & i'm pritty sure thats all it is.

    please help me get this baby thing out of my head, i know i always said i wanted kids young & i do, i'm nearly 21, i feel posessed, but i want to wait a year or two yet. my BF says when i'm 22, neary 23 we can think about getting me pregnant, just not yet. some one please give me some advise, i want to stop crying, i want to stop these dreams & just get my life back to normal.
     
  2. Penny Lane

    Penny Lane Member

    Hi Torz

    I went through the same thing at 21 and it did pass. I think the main thing is to concerntrate on something that makes you super happy now. Like you said go out & live it up, go to festivals, theme parks, parties, sight seeing etc. Maybe you could take up a hobby or take a class. I'm now 29 and pregnant with my first and I'm so glad that I waited. Your 20's are so much fun and it's good to have memories to tell your future children about.

    Take care, Love and Peace x
     
  3. torz

    torz Member

    thankyou michael, i understand what your saying & all but i think the way i'm feeling is more to do with people putting things in my head, at the wrong time too.

    i have seen that joy between mother & child, from a very early age infact. my brother was born when i was 3 1/2 & just loved to help & play with my bro, when i was 10 my eldist sis had her first, she was 18 & i took on a very motherly role with him. she was very tired in the first few months & just loved to bounce him in his bouncer, bath him, do danglys etc. i have a really strong bond with him, more so than my sister. he would cry for me rather than his mum, my name was his first word & in a way i do feel like his mum. my sis had her second at 21. as i was older i would stay with her at weekends & look after them both while she went out with her friends.

    if your not finished having a good time & you have a baby then you may resent that child for holding you back. i've only been to glastonbury once, i've always wanted to go, its the ulimate hippie festival & there is no other like it in the world. i dont want to finish doing drugs just yet, i've only just started on the shrooms.

    yes teh perpous of my body is to procreate & i have many many years yet in which to do so. i do know i want to be a young mum, at 23-24 i want to start having babys, i need to spend these next 2-3 years doing what i want to do. i'm not ready yet i know this deep down, my BF isnt, it would be unfair to bring a child into the world now. i just feel like i'm possesed at the moment, my friend has put it in my head that i should have one, my friend has just had her first, every soap there is a carictor pregnant, on radio there are baby adverts, on tv too. i'm dreaming of being preg, constantly thinking bout it but deep deep down i know i'm just not ready.

    the dreams are like a nightmare in the morning. in the dreams i'm going through all the emotions of a pregnant woman, feeling the baby kick, they are very vivid & while i'm dreaming it's like real life then when i wake up i'm gutted its not & crying.

    you sound like a really caring bloke, do you have a GF? if not a lady is missing out on an extreamly great guy. see your in your 30's, you have 10-15 years on me, have already lived your youth, done what you want done the drugs you want (or didnt), got silly drunk, had fun just being you. but when you have a child they come first & your obviousley ready for that commitment, i'm not, i thought i was, i wanted to be but i'm not deep down i know it. i hope you find someone soon, i'm sure you will make a fantastic dad because you are saying really caring things to me, & what you would do if i was carrying your child.

    hope you get chance to farther as child soon, that child will be a very special spoilt child.

    peace & love to you. xx
     
  4. HappyHaHaGirl

    HappyHaHaGirl *HipForums Princess*

    I've been a little like that lately.... all my friends who had babies around the same time I had Noah are pregnant again, and I feel kind of left out.... haha... but I know I probably couldn't keep my shit together if I had another one now. I need an extra helper. :( Someday, though..... someday.....
     
  5. velvet

    velvet Banned

    I know exactly how you feel.. I'm broody as hell.. and the 'worst' part is that my boyfriend is even worse than me.. hehe.. but it's just way too soon because we're not even living together yet (we are searching though and are going to look at a house next week).. but it's terrible.. hehe.. we actually do the baby-talk thing to eachother.. hehe.. maybe we should get a dog first..;)

    I study 'pedagogy' at university so I know all about the problem you can encounter, but still.. I think my hormones are way off (I've been lactating for over a year now, small amounts though.. docs can't find anything wrong with me although one naturebased doc typ-a-person said that my THS or FSH hormone or sth is too high)..

    So yeah.. I do understand you totally.. it's annoying, because rationally you KNOW that the situation is not quite right yet (first wanna finish your study, want to settle etc..) but your body and mom-emotions are going crazy in the mean time!

    A while ago I was waiting in line somewhere and there was a man standing in front of me with this adorable little girl in his arms (she was about 14 months I think).. the kid reached out to me with a HUGE smile and I took her from him.. so there I was, having this complete strangers kid in my arms.. it felt sooooo great! He wanted to have her back though.. damnit.. hehehe
     
  6. clockworkorangeagain

    clockworkorangeagain femme fatale

    ha ha my best friend just had a baby on the 20th and it brought a tear to my eye... im so happy for the three of them... and slighly clucky but still want to wait about ten yrs... they are so happy and she had such an easy birth compared to most... i cant wait to meet ellie, but remind myself i am not ready - totally!it'd beautiful and i am just glad to witness suh an amazing miracle!
    i dont get to see them for another two weeks!
     
  7. torz

    torz Member

    yeah my friend had a little girl on the 20th, she's named her charlee ann louise. i havent been & seen her yet, i dont think hospitals will make my broodyness go away with all those babys & mothers.

    i'm waiting till she's home.

    even tho my body is screaming to get pregnant i know not now, my BF aint ready for a start. my friend who had kids young, i went to see har last night for a chat, she gave me some really good advise, like the £115 nike trainers i've just orded, i wouldnt be able to have them, a baby does put a strain on your relationship, even tho me & BF are close & have strong relationship we do need more time to seal the cracks & becoem stronger.

    she's give me a number for a sceam where you can hire out those simulaor babys for a week, two week, & month so you can have ago at the baby thing & see what its like. its a good way to see if you can handle it & wether you think its the right time.
     
  8. velvet

    velvet Banned

    Hehehe.. rent-a-baby... cool :) Although it will never be a complete simulation.. it won't cuddle you.. but it also won't stink.. it won't laugh at you.. but it also wont throw up it's milk... hmm..

    Hehehe.. I took this first-aid class once, that specialised in kids (so stuff like choking, falling, stuffing things in the nose, pulling at the tableclothe and getting hot water all over.. etc).. they had this baby-dummies to practise cpr on.. and when I walked in I stepped on one.. damn.. hehe.. will that make me a bad mommy? ;)
     
  9. SpookyAngel

    SpookyAngel Member

    i've heard of these they good.
     
  10. velvet

    velvet Banned

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